True story. True true story: A guy recently joins this company in Accra. It’s his second week and he’s presenting to the entire company. It is his first assignment since he joined the team and the strategy he is presenting is very important for the project the team is working on. His Dell laptop is connected to the projector and his computer screen has filled the wall at the other side of the board room. His bosses are seated, paying rapt attention. The wider team is also present, this presentation is critical for the job at hand.

New guy is on slide eleven, twelve more to go. The room is quiet, all eyes are on the wall. He is making a point on slide 11, then it pops up on his screen, projected on the wall. The wicked, disloyal popup said: Horny devil xxx download complete! Gbam. Read More The Devil In A Thong!

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They are not so popular these days, but a few years ago wayside VCD sales was good business. One CD could carry as many as 25 Chinese films. Who needed hardrives when you could get the entire Police Academy collection on just one CD? I’m telling you, those sellers had enough content to run a blockbuster TV station! They displayed their CD collection on wooden stands and wide floor mats that could showcase hundreds of CDs at a time. If he had to move, he could carry the stand or put all his CDs into a big Ghana Must Go bag and be gone.

They usually set up at high human traffic areas like Circle, Kaneshie and the Accra Mall areas. So if you’re heading somewhere but have a minute to spare, you could scour through the collection and buy entertainment for a full month in one CD. There were many genres to choose from, but one in particular was traded in much the same way weed is passed around in a prison cell; the ‘Blue Feem’ –not film, feem. Read More The Lust Deception

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2nd semester, level 200, Legon. I was in a room with my percher (I’m dead if he sees this) and a certain fine lady we shall caaalll… Esmeralda. We’d all been childhood friends so we were cool like that. But she was closer to him because he was some sort of voice coach to her and could also play the piano.

I’d come in from a 5:30 lecture to meet them voice training. We’d all gotten into laughs and she made a joke about how kissable

my lips are. Now if you know me a little you’ll know that I bark like an Alsatian, but bite like a puppy. So the Alsatian in me goes “Herh! Don’t bring yourself. Don’t start something you cant finish!”

Then she goes “What? You think I cant kiss you?”

I look up to the concrete ceiling, shaking my head “Hmn hmmmnn hmn, someone is playing with fire oo.”

Heerrhhh, dont try me oo!!
Heerrhhh, dont try me oo!!

“Ben don’t try me oh”

“Oh puh-lease! See, I just have a leash on o. You don’t wanna take it off #dogSnarl”

All this while my percher is sitting in-between us, looking left then right like he’s about to cross the motor way. Before anyone could say Jack! Esmeralda pulled me in and gave me what in fairness to her I shall duly describe as a disorienting kiss.

In between trying to collect myself and determining if the last five seconds actually happened, the following words came out of my mouth, only this time in a hushed shaky voice; Read More My 1st Random Kiss.

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Judah ronning Tamar
Judah ronning Tamar

If you think sex for money or favors is a recent development, you obviously haven’t heard about what happened between Judah and Tamar. This senior son of Jacob and the founding father of one of the 12 tribes of Israel was so into this ‘ashawo’ fiesta that he gave his rod and signet as collateral to get his freak on. Many years later, of all the places Joshua’s spies could dodge when they snuck into Jericho, it was a prostitute’s apartment they found refuge in.

So you see, commercial sex has been a hot commodity waaay before Happy Socks and Crop Tops ever came in vogue. Only difference is back then, you could spot a prostitute by how she’d covered her face. Now their butt-cracks are as displayed as their cleavages, which is as displayed as their cheap chewing gums and bulging tummies –O wait, I’m being too narrow-minded! That stereotypical description accounts for just the minority of today’s prostitute community.

We’ve made prostitution exclusive to girls, even though there is such a word as gigolo. Ignore its fancy sound, a gigolo is nothing but a male prostitute. Truth is, anyone who pays for sex is as much a prostitute as the person he’s paying. You don’t get off ‘hooker status’ just because you have the money. We are more tolerant of the tycoon who picks up the hooker, because technically he isn’t the prostitute, but actually he is also prostituting, because if sex binds two together then everything one person is, the other becomes an equal partaker of, no? By this realization, it’s safe to conclude that there’s at least one prostitute in every office in Ghana. Take a break and spy around 🙂 Read More The Evolution Of Prostitution.

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I saw a meme last week I still haven’t recovered from. It was of a very hot, curvaceous woman who looked like she only ended up on earth because she got lost on her way to heaven. It was captioned; “If babe like dis gets Ebola, see my broda, in dis life, somtin must kill a man!”.

It reminded me of times in the past where I’d been in similar positions. Like that moment when I entered the kitchen and the lightsoup was just there cooling down on the stove and the sexiest chicken parts were just islanding and flaunting their tender deliciousness and I heard mum laughing on the phone outside, about to wrap up the conversation and I said to myself “See my broda, in this life, something must burn a man’s hands.” Or that time when I returned from town, thirstier than a humpless camel and there’s a chilled coke in the fridge I knew belonged to by brother. I started off with a gulp and diluted it a little, but the chilled fizzy sensation just worked me and I was like “See my broda, in this life, your brother must fight with you at least once.”

Or that time in Presec when I fell head-over-heels in love with that AGISS hottie, who Read More ‘Somtin’ Must Kill A Man!

Blog Inspiration

When you read all these lovely posts and comment on how great and creative the writing is, you’re seeing just half the picture. Well, definitely more than half, but not the full picture. Sometimes I like to flirt. I don’t mean that in a sexual way at all. I mean there are a few times I mix wit with words and add a dash of ‘suggestive’ to make a few conversations more ummn…memorable. But I just play in the shallow waters o. Yes, once in a while I wonder if it’ll be more fun to wander a little farther, but my rope wont let me stray ayonder (desperate to rhyme).

Months ago, the funniest thing happened. I was driving home from work, chilling in my AC when at Haatso I spotted these two hot girls trying to get a car. Without my permission, my mind commanded my legs to hit the brakes and then made my fingers beckon the girls. Just like that!

When they were close to my door I realized Read More How To Be A Naughty Christian.

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