A week or so ago, Ewuraesi wrote about The Glorified Side-chick. Well me, I don’t mind being a side boo at all, and by the time I’m done, you’ll wish to be one too. Truth is, exclusivity is overrated. “I wanna be the first person she thinks of when she wakes and the last voice she hears before she sleeps.” Dude, please.

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See what I mean? lol

And if you haven’t dated a hot girl or a woman you’re crazy about, you po dier you’re not amang of this conversation. Because the thing naah, you don’t even like her, so if another guy comes into the picture, then good riddance.

I’m talking about the kind of woman that gets your heart to go ‘bam Bam BAM!’ just thinking that she’ll be yours for life. The kind of woman you love so much that if you saw a clearly photoshopped picture of her with some other guy po, your eyes will get teary. I don’t mind being her side boo, Read More I’m A Proud Side-boo!

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WE all know how this goes. There are two people in a relationship, happy as can be. Then, all of a sudden, they aren’t happy anymore. Their woman isn’t vibing with them the way she used to. Then some niiiiiiiiceee girl comes around and gives him back his mojo and vibes are happening left, right and centre. The conversation is better, she isn’t annoying, she isn’t nagging. It all seems fantastic with this little piece of heaven and he begins to wonder if he shouldn’t jump ship…but he still loves his girl doh. Yet, he has gassed madam on the side some gassing that makes her think she’s the queen of the palace.

It only seems so ethereal because you’re only spending one-tenth the amount of time you would be spending with her if she was your actual girlfriend. This, however, has now adequately misguided a poor soul into thinking they now mean a lot more to you than they really do. You want to have your cake and eat it, too. This is how the cake you’re eating thinks she had a right to insert herself into your relationship and make it known that you love her more than you love your girlfriend. Or worse yet, that you don’t even love your girlfriend at all.

Read More The Glorified Side-Chick

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MEN cheat. Men lie. Men pretend to be one thing and they aren’t in the next minute. Men are unfaithful. Men are disrespectful. We are tired of the ups and downs that men put us through. Can’t someone just come and be a gentleman? Can’t we get a chivalrous man to open doors and stand up for us?

There are plenty of men who need ample work and are nothing to write home about. However, there are equally as many men who are genuine, caring, loving gentlemen. I’m not sure how women can continue to spew this “all men are dogs” talk. There is, at the very least, one man out there who is genuine and respectful. If there is one, there has to be more than one.

Think about it for a second. You can’t possibly think that God created human kind and created jeh jeh women. Women who are good, and virtuous, and respectful, only so they can be left with whom? If there are no good men out there, who are the people who are meant to be your brothers, uncles, fathers, nephews, cousins, and friends?

Read More All Men Are Dogs

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When was the last time you had a headache? I had one yesterday and it was quite the nuisance, I tell you.
pmol - headacheIt’s been years since I had to rely on anyone to get me any drug to take though so I decided to wait it out, unlike the real pounder I had last 2 weeks. Nothing I tried worked – I drank some water, slept, and woke up with it still pulsating. I ended up taking a painkiller to end it and after an hour or so, it actually dissipated and I could get back to season 3 of ‘The Last Ship’ again. 😀

What occurred to me later was actually the utility of an ‘old’ painkiller – Paracetamol. I hated it with a passion when I was much younger because I hadn’t fully managed to wrap my head around how to swallow a bitter pill without actually tasting it – and boy was that taste Vile!

pmol - pmolYears later, before medical school, like the typical Ghanaian, I’d developed a subconscious ‘disrespect‘ that bordered on scorn for that pill! Whenever I’d contract malaria or some other illness with associated pain, I’d mentally shake my head at the lack of smarts of the prescribing doctor in adding Paracetamol to my drugs. Read More Love Like Paracetamol!

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I’m beginning to wonder if doctors are just writers who grew up confusing a stethoscope for a pen. I mean look at Tele, who does his thing with Tele Tuesdays and our recent smash hit guest writer Sally Boateng who is a Doctor in training. Today as well, we have a doctor guest blogger writing about nothing close to the circulatory system.

Dr. Izzy is a long time fan here and it was worth waiting for her to come around to writing this; it clearly came from somewhere deep. They say if a crocodile tells you about something going down in the river, better believe it. I suggest you give this doctor-writer woman your attention if you have plans of keeping your woman. She is a croc 😉

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The good book says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. A good number of guys I know have been finding good things lately and bagging them. Dapper dudes + blushing brides and everything in between make for such perfect pictures. The journey of the rest of your lives is beginning and you look forward to this beautiful thing, which is great.

You met the lady of your dreams, cool. You put a ring on it, sweet. Now it is time to get serious. Read More How To Keep Her For Life –Guest Blogger Izzy Suarez

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Every now and then I get a mail saying ‘Hey Ben, so I wrote something and I’m wondering if it’s ok to share with everyone?’ I filter a lot of those because I know you and your very tiny tolerance. Immediately you cant see the head or tail of something pe you cant hide it. Why? Why kraa are you like that?

Lol, but it’s good, because it puts Tele, Ewuraesi and I on our toes, but it also sets a standard on what we share from guest bloggers like Sally here today. Sally is a doctor in training and a writer at heart and she brings a very beautiful story.

I am so excited about this piece because it’s such a true reflection of reality captured by putting two extremeties together in a relationship. She starts a conversation that I cant wait to hear your thoughts on. Enough of me, have Sally.

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The first time I encountered the word ‘boyfriend’ in human form, it was Ato, Esi’s boyfriend. He would bring her roses when he came to see her every week. A single pink or white one for a normal day, and a huge red bunch for her birthday or, on any other occasion he deemed special. I thought, it must be nice to have a boyfriend. Or maybe, in retrospect, Ato was just sweet.

Thirty-two months later, I’m staring at the three letters- b.o.o- on Caller ID as the operator informs me for the sixteenth time that i have reached your voicemail. I’m desperately wondering why you’re not here already when you said you were on your way three and a half hours ago, and on about a hundred other occasions. As usual, I’m thinking of coming to look for you, genuinely out of concern, but I remember the first time this happened and i walked forty six minutes and three seconds in the rain, only to find you sprawled across your carpet playing scrabble with that girl from your office-what’s her face? Read More Where Are The Roses? – Guest Blogger Sally Boateng

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IT was one of those parties at Christmas where you didn’t actually know the person throwing the party. However, you knew someone who knew someone else who knew the party-thrower, so that was basically an invitation. And of course you would bump into people you knew because everybody was at these parties.

Myma walked through the gate and saw a group of boys standing around talking and laughing. Going through the line-up she realised she knew some of them, so she went to say hi. She initially only said hi to Dennis, a friend of hers, but because her mother raised her properly, she extended a smiley hello to everyone else. Just as she was walking off, she was summoned back by Dennis because his friend wanted to talk to her. Apparently, said friend, Jason, found her attractive and as is usual with boys, Dennis thought it necessary to let Myma know immediately, in front of all his other friends.

Read More Near Perfect Isn’t Always For You

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Every day draws us further into our future and further away from our past. As I also keep saying, “the mistakes you make in your early 20’s have far more grievous consequences in your later 20’s“. If you’re going to toe the line the majority will, sooner or later you’re going to become someone’s wife or husband. I’ve also come to see that we put so much effort into preparing to get married that we fail to realise that we’ve put in zilch effort into being married, by the time we are married…and that’s one surefire recipe for disaster, guys (more on that in another post down the line though).  Ladies, ever been taken home to Mama before? Did you pass?? Oh, you didn’t realise it was a test?! Like seriously?? *Whew* Then read on – everybody does well with some apor after all 😉

 

I’m writing from this angle because I’m… *sigh* (I know this will get me into a lot of trouble but I’m going to say it In This Context Alone and then it is Finished…!) I am Mama’s boy. I’m the last born and the only son of my mother so you’ve got to believe me when I say I’ve got some right (or is it responsibility?) to write this today. I sometimes write stuff that needs to be said too – and heard – at least once in your life by a close friend (whom you’ll hopefully believe…but I digress).

My attention was drawn to an old piece I wrote some time ago –  about who a Lady was – by a friend of mine a week ago and as I went through it all over again my Muse started whispering in my ear. She asked me a simple question: “What next?” Read More Taking Her Home to Mama

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Every now and then I get an e-mail from someone saying kind words or wanting to know my take on something. Days after the ‘Made By A Woman’ post, I got this mail from Maame Yaa. I’m sharing it because she permitted me to and also because if you are or know someone going through a breakup, you’ll find this very valuable.

O and I told her about the smart aleck you are so she’s looking to hear how you think she should deal with this situation. Here goes;

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So Ben, I got dumped because I was not ready to settle down (BTW, I think we should stop saying getting married is settling down-its living!) ..and I am crushed because I never expected him to move on so fast ( FYI,  I never said ‘no’ to him, I knew his flaws but I was willing to be by his side, because hey, nobody is perfect). I felt I have personal stuff (in terms of confidence and assertiveness) I needed to work on before saying “I do”. Read More 1st Aid For Heartache.

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Maybe if you dig deep, veeeeerrrryy deep, you’ll find more than two kinds of men, but only these two interest me today; there’s the kind that go out looking for a woman to complete their jigsaw puzzle and  want the last thing left on their checklist struck out. Then there are those who have come to understand how influential the woman they spend their life with is to what becomes of them. To them, a woman isn’t an accessory, she’s an amplifier through which the feeble tone of their ambition can be heard the world over.

The former don’t really matter to me, and I don’t envy the women who end up with them. Usually, a woman who becomes the Mrs. to a man who already has all his chips in his pocket has much less say in his affairs. Her response to his folly, infidelity or insensitivity is cautiously expressed through the fear of forsaking the luxury she’s doused with. If he disappoints, she will threaten to leave many times but is very unlikely to, the trappings are too sweet so she redefines the determiners of a great marriage to the point where him returning to sleep home eventually is good enough and what ultimately matters. Oh but I digress, I’m really pumped up about the latter group. Read More Made By A Woman.

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