Hands up! Anyone who’s wished for the chance to ask Eve why she bit the Apple, or Cane why he killed Abel and lied about it to the Guy who has an eye in every square inch of space.

Hands up, anyone who’s wanted to ask Noah what he’ll have done if the flood never came, or Lot’s wife what she saw before turning into a pillar of salt. Okay, then you’ll envy me when you find out I actually got the chance. No jokes, I did. I really really did. But I just met up with three of them; David, Solomon & Joseph. Our chat was ttiigghhtt!

The twist is, when we met up, they all looked twentyish, irrespective of their chronological appearance in the Good Book. David looked kinda smallish. He had a woolen cap over a gentle cut and his loafers, black three-quarter pants and sky-blue lacoste gave him a d-bee look.

Solomon had kept his hair, so it was tied in a pony and he had his beard on. He wore a brown leather jacket over a Woodin short-sleeved shirt and black corduroy pants and leather slippers.

Joseph was the finest of them all. He looked like Taio Cruz in a leather jacket with a white undershirt and stunners coming off some motorbike bi.

I had to meet some friends of mine at the food court in the Accra mall, it was a Saturday afternoon and the place was packed. Their table was the only one with a spare chair, so when I took it, it was out of necessity. Then when I looked at them, they looked familiar. In some weird way, they looked like characters I’d seen in the ‘My Book of Bible Stories’ picture book I had when I was a kid.

When they eventually confirmed my suspicion, I was like “Today be today. I got a dozen quick ones for y’all.” So thus started our chat.

Me: Dave, I gotto tell you mehn, I feel you on the whole you & Goliath thing, but how the heck did you manage it? I mean what if you’d missed or your sling started acting up, how’ll you have gotten out of that? Read More Me & The Old Testament Boys Boys

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Dear God,

love letterIf I was Hezekiah and you sent your prophet to tell me that I should put my house in order because I was about to die, what’ll I tell you? What’ll I ask you to remember so much so that you’ll feel obliged to give me 15 more years, even 1 year sef? Is it the 20 pesewas I give to those poor Sudan kids from time to time? Or the ‘noodles-like’ quiet times I have with you? Is it my gentlemanly, controlled dances at church? I couldn’t even come up with one major reason to confront you and demand an extra year!

When in heaven someday all my other brothers and sisters in you are showing off with basketfuls of evidence of good works done by being faithful and obedient to you, what’ll I show? The one or two things in my hand? I’ll be shy mpo. So please help me leave no stone unturned. May the only reason why I was unable to climb any mountain or overcome any hurdle in my life be because you willed me not to.

May I come to terms with the fact that by Read More The Most Beautiful Letter I Ever Wrote!

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Originally posted 12th Jan 2010. Response: Incredible!

after-sex thoughtsUsually what you see right after the hot steamy passionate sex scene in most movies is the woman covered only in a bed sheet, reminiscing the just-ended glorious coitus in dreamland and thinking how fantastic the rest of their lives together’s gonna be with her prince charming by her side against the whole world… and the guy is usually in nothing but boxers; either sitting at the edge of the bed or looking through the window with his hand holding up his chin with this look on his face as if searching for the answer to the question his stone-cold silence is screaming above the movie’s

background music; “How on earth did I end up in this stinking mess???!!””

The answer to that question is in a rather explicit but deeply profound statement I heard some time back, and if you aren’t at least 18 yrs old, PLEASE STOP READING RIGHT HERE!!! Well, thus saith the statement; “an erected penis hath no conscience” and I concur, otherwise right BEFORE he defiled her, the 60 something year old father would THINK of the grave consequences of an uncontrolled libido on his liberty, and the future of his 12 and1/2 year old girl.

Did you hear the explanation the 49 year old the man who defiled his teenage daughter gave to the judge just last month? “Your Honor, I forgot my 46 year old wife had gone for a funeral  over the weekend  and thought  it was actually my wife i was in bed with.” No kidding this actually happened, I read it on myjoyonline.

But let’s not get carried away, this piece isn’t about retarded perverts or erotic movies (my pastor could be reading this you know, lol), it’s about the ‘sex scenes’ in each of our lives, and how we just only conveniently realize how inappropriate the ‘deed’ is only after we ‘climax’. Read More After-Sex Thoughts.

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sad groom

Originally posted 7/16/2010
Unlike most people, my favorite part of a wedding isn’t when the groom locks his lips with the bride’s –by their wedding day, that’s standard greeting– My favorite part is when the organist starts playing the infamous ‘taantantanaa, taantantanaaaa…” to usher the bride in. The groom standing at the altar turns –along with everyone at the wedding- to catch a glimpse of the gorgeous bride as she stealthily picks her steps and glides down the red carpet like she was in slow-motion roller skates.

I don’t join in the chorus; there’ll be more time to feast my eyes on the ravishing bride later. Instead, I shift my focus to the groom. That instant when he sees his to-be life partner walking down the aisle to seal a life-long commitment being witnessed by dearest friends and close family, what does his face say? Lost in the emotions and realities he finds himself in, his face at that instant is incapable of lying. In that instant when everyone’s watching the bride march in, his face speaks freely.

Usually –which is the ideal situation- he’s in content disbelief, humming to the infamous twi Gospel song; Nti mi paa me nie, na w’ay3 me sei eee…(so is this really me God, that you’ve been soo good to?). He might even have teary eyes; tears of joy. Dreading in his heart that part of the ceremony where the priest asks Read More A Groom’s Biggest Mistake- will you commit it too?

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This Monday Classic was a scandalous hit. And one of my many favorites. Enjoy 🙂
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874376-002I saw this great movie some time back; there was this disarmingly hoottt babe in it. She used to be very promiscuous and had much sought after waist gyrating skills. But she found Jesus and her life was never the same again.

At a neighborhood picnic, one of the guys she used to do it with came to her and tried his uttermost best to woo her up to his crib, but she just wouldn’t budge. So in frustration, the guy asked “What’s with this change of yours? This Jesus you claim you’ve found, how is he better than all the good times we made and had together?”

She looks into his face, was silent in thought for a second or two, then gave him the best answer ever!  She said “Trey, you know how good it is when at the peak of a very karmasutric bout of sex, a thousand tingly sensations tickle every nerve ending in you and you arch your body in awe of such a blissfully crippling sensation?” by this time Joe’s licking his lips, getting aroused already “Yeah Tricia, I know, I sooo knowwww! What about it?Read More A Feeling Beyond Orgasm.

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If life serves you lemons, make a lemonade. It’s fast becoming a cliche, but allow me to use it just one more time eh:-) So we lost a bunch of posts when we got hacked and had to restart. Since then, I’ve got a lot of complaints about not being able to go back to favorite articles. And then I got an ‘Eureka moment! I’ll re-post the early classics. We’ll call it the Monday Classics. C’est bon?

This first one was the very first one I posted. Back then ‘lol’ had just been coined, so I was a tad overgenerous in its usage, allow.

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growing upI was calling a friend just last week Tuesday at around 8:30am because I’d missed her badly and just wanted to say hello, but she didn’t pick up. I got a text a couple of minutes later that read; “Hi darl, missed u bunch! making a presentation at a board meeting right now, allow me to get back to you as soon as I’m done.” Then it hit me like a stray bullet! We’re in the next phase already.

That Saturday when my good old friend from Presec times; TT came to visit, it was getting to the end of the conversation that I realized that almost the whole time he’d been there, we’d been talking about our CEOs, what the future held for our respective companies, the nature of office politics, strategies we were employing to advance our long-term career objectives and the like. Then it hit me even harder!!!

From the days when we used to be late to the dining hall, when we’ll frantically ask the ‘Enter-pee’ (entertainment prefect) whether he could show the newly released MATRIX at entertainment on Saturday, when adrenaline flowed through our veins at the thought of breaking bounds, when we looked forward to the next ‘inter-co’ like it was a speech-and-prize giving day, and girls in ponk (barbed hair) were the kind of girls we dreamed of . Read More Imagine Us 15 Years From Now.

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