No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening again. Joy banged her hand on the steering wheel in frustration. “What is this?!”

She stared at the phone in her hand – Monique was now calling 5 minutes after sending her the picture without any response from her. She let the phone ring as she was carried away by a rush of emotions.

Who was this woman? What was this picture truly about? Was Yao really married? Like seriously?! For all this while?!

The questions were too many for her head to process on its own. *Ping* She received another message from Monique – Where are you, Joy? I’m calling you but you’re not answering, R u ok???

joy3-greetShe knew Monique meant well, but just then she didn’t think she could talk to anyone just yet. Wait – she cast a glance at the man sipping from a teacup at the terrace – there was one  person who she could speak to,

She stepped out of the car, her trembling hands finally settling as she closed the door before walking purposefully towards the restaurant.

Gino, the head greeter, smiled at her in the foyer, but she barely acknowledged him with a small wave of her right hand as she stalked toward the terrace.

“Oh hi there beautiful.” Yao was getting up to greet her with that smile that would turn her knees to jelly on any fair day…obviously not today. His smile faltered when he noticed the look on her face.

“What’s wrong, Joy? What’s with that look on your face?” Read More The Joys of an Intimidating Woman III

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Joy was bored out of her mind at the stakeholders meeting of the Scion Corporation that Thursday afternoon. The Internal Auditor was droning on in his less-than-stellar English for close to an hour now and so her mind drifted involuntarily towards the bee that had been buzzing around in her bonnet for a while now.

 

The events of the date with Kojo 3 weeks ago should have been the last things on her mind by then, to tell the truth. She’d been royally pissed for over a week and even till now, the memory could still drive her silently steaming mad in a minute or less. The sort of male animal that would instinctively oppose any woman who appeared to have more than a cursory opinion on matters that ran contrary to his own was downright despicable to her, but one who would immediately assume she would welcome any unsolicited advances and therefore take certain liberties was the absolute worst in her opinion.

 

Where was that bigot Julius or the two-faced Kojo when she had to endure cold winters slaving away at a fast-food joint before moving to the Walmart afterwards, and then temping on alternate weekends when her Ghanaian scholarship was abruptly terminated?! It turned out that a certain Hon. Somebody at the Ministry of ****** decided to halt payments in favour of channelling funds into an election campaign. Thank God they lost, she thought to herself with a satisfying spike of spite that briefly made her smile.

Read More The Joys of an Intimidating Woman II

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Joy stormed out of the café, rummaging through the bottom of her Givenchy handbag for her car keys. She couldn’t wait to get out of that obnoxious man’s presence. She fumbled with the key fob as she slid into the driver’s seat, engaging the engine before peeling away into traffic in her BMW i8. joy-bm7

Since returning to Ghana after 6 years and a foreign education abroad, she’d finally caved to pressure from friends and family and decided to follow up on the numerous invites out by this one’s friend or that one’s cousin they were ‘sure to make a beautiful match’.

 

Rewind Date #1 – Julius. Venue: Ci Gusta. Agenda: Late Lunch. Friday at 3:30pm.

The first thing that wouldn’t have been a ‘thing’ if the rest of the date had gone well at least was her waiting for him for close to 45 mins before he showed up with barely any reason for his tardiness.

“Sorry o, Madam Accountant,” was all he could say before taking the lead to order from the menu he’d snapped his fingers for immediately he entered the eatery. Read More The Joys of an Intimidating Woman I

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robbedThe best thieves don’t have the biggest guns or the most menacing faces, what they have is the rare skill of robbing you clueless. They leave you smiling, not knowing that you’ve lost your most precious possession, until you really need it.

But what are your most precious possessions, really? Because if you recognize the wrong things as precious, you won’t even notice it when your true valuables are stolen. Matter of fact, you never even guarded them. What use are legs to a fish right? Just make sure it isn’t a case of mistaken identity and you really are a fish, because if your humanity returns after your legs are stolen, hurray you’re a mermaid!

My old boss (God bless his meager paychecks) used to say Read More You’ve Been Robbed! By You.

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