“Get you a (wo) man who can do both”

I’m sure everyone and their grandmother has seen the memes with a person in some black-tie attire and some alternative, chill day attire with the caption “get you a so-and-so who can do both. If not, the internet and google are your best friend.

I’m thinking along those same lines, except I’m talking about getting you someone who can do one thing and do it really well.

Someone this weekend talked about the various excuses that Moses came up with when God called him at the burning bush. As in, he was just chilling, having a conversation with THE Lord God Almighty. Instant responses and all, yet he had doubts about how to do the things being asked of him. Can you imagine? You? Of course not, not you.

Iiiiiiii, on the other hand. I can’t say I have had legitimate immediate responses from God, a-la-Moses style. However, there are numerous times in my life where I have questioned how something that has been said or prophesied to me, or even something I have desired in my heart, is going to happen. I know, I know. You’re supposed to leave the “how” to God. However, I’m one of those weird people who likes to know how things are going to happen and whether a, b and c need to be 95 degrees to the left to make it happen.

Read More Get You An Aaron

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I remember the first time I watched a porn clip. I was in Presec, 3rd year. I snuck to an internet café to…I don’t even remember what. There were these humongous excuses for computer monitors that lorded themselves over the partitioned wooden stalls.

Owait, I remember what I went to do now. I had a yahoo account with the most ridiculous email ‘Hourglass143…’. Those days, it was just flex to have an email account. Most of the mails were spam, but because there weren’t enough email using friends to receive emails from, I read spam like they were love letters from Gey Hey.

There were three guys huddled behind a computer two chairs away. They were too excited to have been reading spam. I’ve been curious a long time now, you know. In stretching my neck whilst acting uninterested, I saw my first porn clip. Read More Sex Sells! But Who’s Buying?

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When you meet a man who moves you with his words, his voice, his charisma, his swag, his talent…you’re watching a synthesis of the people and things that have inspired him. No one becomes great with no reference whatsoever to any external help or inspiration, it just doesn’t work that way.

Brief digression: among my vast sources of inspiration is Alexander the great (some parts of his story). When the astronomers in his time told him of the worlds beyond earth and the other planets dancing in the galaxy, he broke down in tears.

Ooo Alex don’t be like that. How can this startling discovery make a conqueror like you cry?

(whimpering) because after all these years, I’m not done conquering one world and now see how many more there are! Read More The Head That Wears The Oil.

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On a recent trip out of town, the flight home was delayed until further notice. There’s little more frustrating than being stuck in a foreign country, running out of power on your laptop with the cable tucked away in the luggage you’d already checked in and knowing that some serious jollof is getting cold at home 🙁 Oh, but I was just about to have a cutieful experience!

There was this posh lady sitting behind, not too far away. She was wearing a peach blouse with those fancy criss-cross cuts at the back that let you see some skin without compromising on her class and stylishness. She looked like a professional with little tolerance for nkwasiasem…not that I had any of that up my sleeves. Her hair was a fortune and her makeup was serious! Read More Privileges Of A Cute Baby!

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I’m not the kind of guy to take a microphone and ramble on about the great things the Lord has done in my life. I think of all the hundreds of people my testimony will be a very small deal to. “Ho! Is this a testimony? tweaaa. If we are looking for testimonies to say wow to, then this one?!!” And just like that I keep it to myself.

Also, I hate showing off. If I’m talking to very close friends I talk big and I know they can tell the jest in it, but to a much larger audience, I really cringe at the thought of sounding and seeming like I’ve arrived. Like I’m the traffic light’s replacement and everyone must stop to see what I have to say. I imagine someone saying “Eeeiii Ben! Ben has come on top o. Hmm, he sees himself papa, meanwhile too tinor. He should be careful o, lest he starts looking down on people.”

The third reason I’m not so much of an explicit testifier is that well…I’m a Ghanaian, and you know how we always pray against monitoring spirits. Lol, at my old office, we teased Abla about the fact that her church had just one testimony Sunday at the end of the year so that it would be too late for all the dark-hearted, kokonsa people to spoil anything. I just feel like sometimes, some people gauge their expectations of you from knowing the new things you’ve come into and I’d rather not that kind of pressure. Read More The 3 Weird Reasons I Didn’t Testify…Till Now!

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True story. True true story: A guy recently joins this company in Accra. It’s his second week and he’s presenting to the entire company. It is his first assignment since he joined the team and the strategy he is presenting is very important for the project the team is working on. His Dell laptop is connected to the projector and his computer screen has filled the wall at the other side of the board room. His bosses are seated, paying rapt attention. The wider team is also present, this presentation is critical for the job at hand.

New guy is on slide eleven, twelve more to go. The room is quiet, all eyes are on the wall. He is making a point on slide 11, then it pops up on his screen, projected on the wall. The wicked, disloyal popup said: Horny devil xxx download complete! Gbam. Read More The Devil In A Thong!

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TYPICALLY, we judge people based on our perception of what right or wrong is. Categorised by our human standards. Because if one thing is bad for me, how can it possibly be good for another? We are called to hold each other, as Christians to a certain standard, but for some reason, we use that as a measure of “how Christian” another person is. Instead of adhering to God’s standard, we use ourselves as the ruler, how Christian are you compared to me?

Read More We’re Not All Samson.

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Sunday church is not enough for me. Not because I’m some shpiritwa breda with a dozen tye & die long sleeves and countless Christian fellowship t-shirts with a tongues-induced coarse voice. I’m not that guy who knows more verses off-head than he has female friends. Still, Sunday church is like jollof rice for me; it’s just not enough. I guess I’m just that needy.

My need is so great that a two hour service a week just wont cut it for me. My mom laughs, she says she sees how our generation is more on fire than her Orthodox one. “It’s understandable,” she said “ the temptations and demons in the system these days, they know computer, they know Facebook, Instylegram (lol, dont laugh at mum!), in fact they are wilder and more high-tech than when I was in YPG.” Goodness you’ll have heard me laugh from Togo. Read More Sunday Is Like Jollof Rice!

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Somewhere last year (especially around March), I realized the massive difference starting 2015 with God was making. This year I did the very logical thing and greatly repeated step one. So when I was hanging out with Him and we were talking about 2016, I carefully considered what one thing I wanted for this year. What one thing would I truly want to characterize 2016? Then Genevieve came to mind!

Genny is a sterling sterling worship leader at the church I visit on most Fridays. Deezzz ggeerrrhhh caaann siinnng, whaattt!! For nearly two years I’ve been her biggest fan and I haven’t even spoken to her, I’m shy like that. Lol. But in listening to Genny, I hear the sharp contrast between talent and anointing. I don’t think she’s the best singer in the world, I think there are others who can oscillate and ad-lib better than she does, but there is just something about her voice. It’s…it’s…it’s oily. Read More I Want Some Of Genny’s Oil!

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They are not so popular these days, but a few years ago wayside VCD sales was good business. One CD could carry as many as 25 Chinese films. Who needed hardrives when you could get the entire Police Academy collection on just one CD? I’m telling you, those sellers had enough content to run a blockbuster TV station! They displayed their CD collection on wooden stands and wide floor mats that could showcase hundreds of CDs at a time. If he had to move, he could carry the stand or put all his CDs into a big Ghana Must Go bag and be gone.

They usually set up at high human traffic areas like Circle, Kaneshie and the Accra Mall areas. So if you’re heading somewhere but have a minute to spare, you could scour through the collection and buy entertainment for a full month in one CD. There were many genres to choose from, but one in particular was traded in much the same way weed is passed around in a prison cell; the ‘Blue Feem’ –not film, feem. Read More The Lust Deception

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