I know how an orgy goes like. I can vividly describe to you the journey from sobriety to weed-induced highness. I know more about quickies than the originator of the latin root word. I know about infidelity and the nuances of having multiple side-chicks. I know about booze and making punches that knock you out. I know the right words to say to move from brother zone to ‘use me how you please’ zone in one week. I know all these things because I know how to pay rapt attention when it’s story time.

I have my fair share of pious shpiritos sanctus friends, but I prefer those who’ve also been around (NB: Don’t try this at home. It may backfire for you) . I know boys who’ve done things! I know girls who tell me stories they cant ever tell their husbands. Stories so graphic ‘mills & boons’ would pass for a Bible story. So I thought a lot about how come all these people keep confiding in me with all these scandals. Why me? And then I unraveled it. The main ingredient is; Stay calm. Act amused, never surprised. It makes them comfortable talking. I wont tell you the other ingredients because I’m not sure how you’ll use the skill. In fact, I’m writing this minutes after a one hour session of real real stories that brought me super close to losing my signature calmness. Whaaatttt, if I tell you details, I risk turning this from edifying to arousing…but what the heck? Read More Bad Fineboy Confessions

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