You’re something else, you know that? I had a one-episode story when I first wrote this and you drew 5 parts out of me, way to go!

So today, I present you the grand finale of this story I myself have fallen in love with. So much so that, I’ve made a voice recording of the first few paragraphs (you know I hardly do that) Even better, I’ve got an awesome surprise for you at the end of this post! Ok, enough of my brah brah brah…here’s where we left off last week;

On Saturdays, they usually gave each other space for the first half of the day; he’d play morning soccer with the boys, finish it off with squad waakye, return home to nap and work a little before meeting up with her around 4pm for an endless list of possibilities.

On this particular Saturday, whilst he was celebrating his winning goal with the softest wele, a whatsapp came through from Elsie and that’s when he noticed he’d missed two calls from her.

‘I need to dash off to London tonight. Let’s talk when you see this.”

                                                                                                     ***

London or Lapaz? Could it be autocorrect? Who wakes up and suddenly has to be in London? It must be some kind of a joke. Where from this? By the time he got to her house, she was nearly done packing.

“You weren’t kidding?”

“Why would I?”

“Why what’s up?”

“Something urgent, I’ll explain when I return.”

“You don’t expect me to just accept that do you?”

Read More The Steamy Church Romance; Finale +Voice Note!

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The honest plan was to finish this story in one post, but the way things are going, it would have meant keeping you waiting an extra week. Looking at how endangered this would make my life, I’m releasing this now. Here’s where we left off;

“Look. At. Those. Feet!” She said when they were done with him. She wasn’t exaggerating, even he had trouble recognising his feet. “How does it feel?”

“Like fresh air blowing over a santo head for the first time.” They laughed, along with the attendants.

He was about to pay when she stopped him. He insisted. “I let you drive, return the favor.” She complied. They were the last to leave. He couldn’t believe it; in his entire 29 years, he never imagined that his first date (if he could call it so) with someone he felt he could actually like would be at a nail parlour.

She felt peckish, so they stopped for ice-cream at Pinnochios. She chose for him. It was actually nice. She dropped him off at the office.

“Thanks Elsie, for my first ever pedicure. I’m beginning to worry my face now looks like the poor relative.”

She laughed. “You’re alright Yaw. You’re alright.” She revved the engine and drove off.

*     *     *

 “Hey, you coming in today?” Yaw whatsapped

“Yup, but might be a little late.”

“I could save a seat for you.”

“Cool. Thanks :-)”

He walked her to her car after service. He noticed Hans making faces, but swerved him. He wasn’t ready to have an office buddy make things awkward. She had her signature scent on; La Vie est Belle. It made him linger when they hugged. She plucked herself, smiling.

She thought of him as she drove home. The old Elsie would never have given Yaw a chance…but time changes, so do people. He was such a good boy. He looked like he could be a bad boy, had the fashion sense of a cool dude, but he was a pure breed. He didn’t play games. He wasn’t rushing into her skirt, but he wasn’t as lively and boisterous as she was used to, and yet these were the same reasons why she felt drawn to him.

“Confused girl!” she said to herself. Then a chill run through her heart. If they did stand a chance, then there’d come a time when they’d come clean and debrief each other on their pasts. She shuddered. Read More The Steamy Church Romance IV

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Hi Fam, we’re on track! Here’s where we left off last week;

“Ei thiiissss guy.” Hans said, snapping him from his trance. “So this be why you come church eh.”

“Oh commot for there. You not hear that verse before? Seek ye first.”

“Yoo, you dey there den  dey tell me ‘Seek ye first.’ E be Elsie you go seek first?”

“Why you know am?”

“Me I not go talk anything o.”

“Eeenh, make you not talk, what?” With that, he changed the subject, they talked about other things, and parted ways.

Yaw saved the number, full of hope and excitement. The future was pregnant with possibilities.

“Sorry God” he apologised once more “For saying ‘shit”   

***

III

“Hi, Elsie?”

“Yes?”

“How’re you?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Yaw…you gave me your-“

“oh yes, I remember. Hi Yaw, how’re you?”

“Honestly?

(giggles) “Yes, honestly.”

“Nervous”

“Www..why?”

“Be-be-because…because I’ve done something incredibly risky.”

(sighs in deep interest, mutes the TV) “Risky?”

“Yes”

“Tell me”

“I’ve let myself like you to much too soon when this could go all kinds of ways and…and…and I’m aware that telling you this could make things very awkward and possibly end this conversation prematurely.”

(long pause) “so…why did you choose to tell me?”

“I was suffocating”

giggles

“I’m the kind of guy that, well, I don’t know how to mince words. I don’t face my fears because I’m brave; the dread of being haunted is worse.

(almost whispering) I’m a fear?”

“Yes. No, not like that (sighs) I feel better now.”

“What, you’re over me already?”

“No, not that. It’s the burden of needing you to know. It’s lifted now.”

(pauses. for long) “What’re you doing now?”

“Fooling myself.”

(amidst a laugh) “How?”

“I’m in the office, trying to work, knowing full well I’m too distracted to.”

“Myyyyyy Mr, Yaw fear seems to bring out the best in you.”

he laughs

“But work on a Saturday night, that’s pathetic”

“I know”

“Where’s your office?”

“Labone”

“I see. I’m heading out, to do my nails in Osu. WhatsApp me your location, I might pass by.” Read More The Steamy Church Romance III

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When I started, I had no intention of writing a part 2. And now there’s a part 3 coming up next week! See how you get me weak in the knees? lol. Here’s where we left off;

She laughed “Sorry, I don’t give my numbers out like that.” With that she slid into the front seat of the car. Her friend did same and started the engine. Yaw didn’t see it coming. Something about his disorientation made her feel bad. She rolled her window down halfway “But maybe after the third time I see you in church, I might reconsider.” She smiled as they drove off.

He watched their taillight disappear into the darkness, smiling like a piglet. He started thinking to himself what department in the church to join.

***

II

She was on his mind all throughout the week. She stained his mind. He tried to find her on Facebook. 12 hours went into that search, literally! but her face didn’t show. The more unfindable she was, the more he craved to find her. She didn’t come to church on Sunday, but that wasn’t a shocker; most people came for the Friday night prayer service then went to their own churches on Sundays.

On Friday, he felt what David meant when he said “I was glad when they said unto me…” He was distracted the whole service, turning in the direction of every motion, hoping it was her coming in. She didn’t show. He felt frustrated; he’d been present but absent from the service and missed out on being edified. The person who could have made it all worth it too didn’t show. Bummer! Next Friday was the same. He started to think maybe she was some boga who’d returned to Alabama. Read More The Steamy Church Romance II

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She was the first person he noticed when he entered the auditorium. There was nothing remarkable about the tight blue jeans or navy green top she was in, but there was everything about the body it clad.

Such perfect proportions, such sufficiency, such equilibrium! What a temple! She was fair, but not the induced kind; he’d learnt to spot cream-induced fairness by spotting darker knuckles and inconsistent ‘fairness pantones’. This one was legit. The neckline of her top was a little loose so he could notice a few petals of the rose tattooed at her back. No colours, just black contours. It was a beautiful tattoo.

The usher directed him to a seat four rows behind her. She shared his attention with the pulpit. The worship songs were moving her. She was in the spirit. When she jumped, she wobbled, and he swallowed, then looked up to heaven. Forgive. Read More The Steamy Church Romance.

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YOU’RE just chilling when you see a person driving down the street in a sleek luxury car, you hear they’re living in their Trassaco villa this weekend, and they are always sporting the trendiest designer clothes and shoes. Undoubtedly, you want to know who they are and what they did to acquire such wealth. “Oh, she’s a businesswoman,” and that is enough of an explanation for the show of wealth, usually.

This isn’t the case when it comes to men and women of God. Can you imagine seeing all of that and someone saying “oh, he’s a pastor of so-and-so church” as the explanation for the wealth? That wouldn’t go down so well. There will be a plethora of follow-up questions about what it is the church does and doesn’t do and why and how this head pastor is chopping all the money.

For some reason, we attribute being a pastor to living an austere life. Because if your lifestyle isn’t austere, you can’t possibly be true to the word of God. However, if there’s going to be prayer for financial prosperity there’ll be a hoard of people ready to receive God’s blessings. Only the congregation should benefit from financial prosperity, the leaders must remain eternally “humble”.

Read More Pastors Can’t Be Rich

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I distinctly remember going to a church someone had invited my mum to. As a dutiful child, I went along with her. I like to think the person who invited her to this church was a good person, but you never know. It took what felt like ages to get to the church and we made it for the tail end of a worship song. Soon after the preacher began to preach a rather long sermon. None of which spoke to me. At all. Actually, the more he talked, the more peeved I got that we were there.

I wasn’t on fire like that for God yet, so with my little stank attitude I made every effort to show my mother that as for me, I wasn’t having it. I sighed heavily and yawned obnoxiously. I would place my hands under my head and pretend I was sleeping. Anything to get her attention, so she could ask what was wrong. She didn’t.

Read More The Leaders Are Dirty

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