So I’ve been married, what? like two months and I’ve cracked it! I figured out best practices on how to cheat on your Mrs. It’s not rocket science really, and if this doesn’t work, I’m offering a money-back guarantee! See, these days, a wedding ring turns more women on than ripped abs and fake slangs. Just flash that ring and they be like “Oooohh mmyyy, that Mrs. sure is lucky! My goodness. Have you been treating her right? do you make her happy? are you sure? (giggles) really? You wanna show me?”

Last week, my married cousin passed by my office with Naa, our mutual friend. Sam’s a nice guy. Nice, respectable guy. leads Bible study in church but is not an uptight Christian. He has the blackest lips! When we were talking, I couldn’t help but notice the purple smudge on his lip. Naa had gone to use the washroom so it was just us talking. The more we spoke, the harder it became to ignore the smudge on his lip. Naa’s lipstick was purple. Very quickly, my mind connected the dots! So I asked “Wait a minute, Sam, there is lipstick on your lips. How did lipstick get on your lips!?”

His heart missed a beat, but it didn’t show in his calm countenance. He just wiped hard and said dismissively “Oh it’s nothing, just a French way of saying hi.”

I laughed till I choked. “Eeeeeyiii! Gyimitoooottto! French ebaaadzi?! French way of saying ‘hi’. Then how’ll they say ‘How are you?’ Nonsense, but how can you try to BS me? you know i’m too smart for that!”

His face was all kinds of silly. Read More How To Cheat On Your Wife.

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Hello! Ewuraesi, here. I’m really glad to meet you. I like Ben’s introduction of me, but if he missed anything of interest to you, please let me know.

To tell you the truth, i’m partially excited and partially nervous about all this. I’m hoping it’ll be both fun and edifying for both you and me. I’m not putting myself in a box, but for the most part, I’ll be talking a lot about relationships and general “taboo” topics we are all thinking but not discussing. Also, things from a woman’s perspective. But if there’s anything else you would like to hear about, I’m all ears.

Speaking of relationships, here’s a post that’s part fiction, part factual about falling in love and cheating. Enjoy!

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WE sat in my car in front of one of the school buildings. He insisted I come and see him. I insisted I had other things to do, but I would pass by for a few minutes. I pulled up in my tiny car and he walked over, popping his head through the rolled-down window.

“Ewuraesi.”

“Joshua,” I said with a smile.

Read More The One Where I Learned To Love

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The first part of this story endangered my life. I couldn’t tell for sure if the threatening whatsapps and emails or comments with knife, gun and needle emoticons were sent in jest or there was some seriousness to it. Since I’m not curious enough to find out, I have completed the story. Many people had predictions on how it would go, let me know if turned out as you thought.  Oh, and there’s a surprise waiting for you at the end. 

 Ok so enough of my blabbering. Taking off from where Mandy stepped into Mr. Crentsil’s office, ready to demonstrate Krobo Sutra…if it came to it. Here goes;

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His office was a sight for sore eyes. A framed quote hung on the wall; “Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication”.

If that needed proof, well you just had to take a look around you. His desk was like the African cousin of The Resolute Desk. The only things on it were a statuette of a black jaguar about to leap and his 13” Mac Book Air. He got up from his black Nightingale chair smiling. She was surprised he wasn’t turned around looking through his floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Read More Mistress Of My Life II [Krobo Sutra]

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I confess, I purposely omitted the epilogue. I wanted to see if you’d write or squirm or rant and I am delighted about your reaction. Is this the kind of thing I’ll need forgiveness for? Lol, I hope not. Anyways, for the end bit of the story, you can either download it HERE, or click on the image below, or do the reading right here, just keep scrolling down. So really, it’s entirely your decision now. Let me know if you liked it? Here goes…I Love Her Husband (epilogue)

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Click to Download Epilogue
Click to Download Epilogue

We left off here... Kobe was bursting into the restaurant at the time Trixy was walking out. They stood in each other’s way for melting moments. Trixy tried hard to keep her smile, but her tear-stained face spoke volumes.

“Love you Kobe.” she kissed his cheek, the half a dozen diners felt the tension, and it told in their unnatural silence “Good bye.” Not see you later, What kind of a man are you? Or How could you do this to me…but Good bye. She didn’t add ‘for good’ but it lingered in her silence, and in how she turned and walked out the door.

[THE END? Not exactly]

 

Chapter 5

Kobe caught up with his wife in the parking lot, but her reflexive rigidity when he tried to touch her, to reason out his unredeemable stupidity, the sternness in her eyes, the coldness in her “leave me alone”, all culminated in rendering him speechless. Like a stooge he stood by as the Honda Civic faded into two red brake lights as it revved into the distance of the windy Saturday evening.

When he reentered the restaurant, Samaa was sitting in the same position, her hand cupping her mouth, as if holding back the wrath of God.

“What did you do to her?” Kobe asked rashly, taking the seat his wife had been in minutes before.

“What did I do to her? What have you done to her? What are you doing to me?” she looked at him like a stranger, her eyes were heavier than a looming storm. The platform she’d been standing on had been snatched from underneath her feet, and now she was falling, clueless as to how deep and messed-up this abyss would turn out to be.

She closed her eyes, craving beautiful thoughts from the seemingly distant past to somehow trade places with this dreadful present. If she could find life’s control panel, she’d press ‘Pause’ for a breather. It was all too fast too soon. So many lies so many misrepresentations, did she even want to know why? Could it possibly ease the wrenching feeling surging within?

When she reopened them, Read More I Love Her Husband -The last-show.

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When there were just a few of us, I wrote a story that I liked. I wasn’t sure if everyone would feel the same about it, so I was blown away by the  response. Over 5,000 reads and downloads! I got so many calls and e-mails from everywhere (literally!) about how sensational it was that I read it over and over again to check if perhaps they were seeing something I wasn’t. There were serious offers and plans to turn it into a musical, play, full novel and a TV series. I just might go through with one, just might.

Screen Shot 2014-09-05 at 11.53.54 AMAnyways, when we got hacked last year, those posts went down. Since then, I’ve been getting requests to re-post it. The last one came last week from @ferdiefresh via Twitter. So I thought “Why not?! We’ve more than doubled since and if even Read More I Love Her Husband -by popular request.

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