I made the decision to go to school outside of Ghana. To some people this was the “normal” thing to do, to others a privilege. Either way, I was going to university abrokyrie. I was indifferent to the idea initially, to be honest. I was one of those children who had strict parents, but also had freedom a lot of my friends didn’t get. Ergo, the excitement other people got from the idea that they were going to be far away from their parents and be able to do whatever they wanted didn’t apply to me. I could already do what I wanted, within reason, and as long as it didn’t involve any life threatening, character-threatening things. It also had to conveniently fit in my curfew at the time.

Nevertheless, I looked forward to going to university and doing all the things that apparently university people did. Whatever that entailed. I had a few friends already in university and they were always chilling and having fun. Imagine my surprise when I got to university and the sort of fun and chilling people did was not the kind I was into. To add insult to injury, I could not stand the city I was in. I hated it. I had not, until that point, hated anything as much as I hated the city. I hated it so much when I was home for Christmas after my first semester I refused to get back on the plane. I wasn’t going back to that God-forsaken place. Nope. Not me. Read More Obedience Over Sacrifice

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I remember the first time I watched a porn clip. I was in Presec, 3rd year. I snuck to an internet café to…I don’t even remember what. There were these humongous excuses for computer monitors that lorded themselves over the partitioned wooden stalls.

Owait, I remember what I went to do now. I had a yahoo account with the most ridiculous email ‘Hourglass143…’. Those days, it was just flex to have an email account. Most of the mails were spam, but because there weren’t enough email using friends to receive emails from, I read spam like they were love letters from Gey Hey.

There were three guys huddled behind a computer two chairs away. They were too excited to have been reading spam. I’ve been curious a long time now, you know. In stretching my neck whilst acting uninterested, I saw my first porn clip. Read More Sex Sells! But Who’s Buying?

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Dear Love,

I hope this letter finds you like I intend it to – Quite by Surprise! I don’t know if you’ve seen any of the other letters I’ve hidden all over the house and in my old things but if you haven’t yet, I can assure you that you’re in for a Treat!

You see, I periodically write these letters because it gives me the ability to ‘cheat’ on time by allowing me to make use of your excellent company years before we end up together finally and I can count myself blessed to have you close by every single day.

It gets rough sometimes, I must admit, when there’re so many things on my mind and heart that I’d love to share with someone who’s as close to me as you are now, reading this letter. Unfortunately, in my present state of unwed solitary bachelorhood, that I can’t do because not everyone needs to know what’s in your mind everyone – a majority of them can’t handle it and others would most likely use the information to manipulate you. This letter, however, is my innovative solution to that conundrum. 🙂

The thought of writing this particular letter actually occurred to me last night when I was having  a discussion with one of your Akumaas about the nature of Love and how it should be versus how it, unfortunately, becomes sometimes. An old soul taking temporary shelter in a young body as I am, I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to find out that the phrase that got me a-thinking was one from older Highlife and Hiplife songs, “Medeɛ ne wo ara”“. Read More Letter To My Dear True Wife III…

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Very little hurts more than being wrongly accused. It’s one of the few things that really ticks me off (I’m even teary right now po). So you open the pot and it just looks like there’re fewer chicken limbs in there than before and without even asking, you smack me and insist on an explanation for why I stole the chicken. But…but…but… I juuuusssst caaaaammeee eeeeeennssssiiiiiidddee, I haven’t even tooouuuuuccchheeddd theeeee ppoooooooottt.

It’s too painful fam. Just imagining being falsely accused is even working me up right now. I’ve always hated false accusations, but I never thought for a moment that someone from B.C era felt the exact same way. It’s like finding out that Samuel was a Scrabble junkie! Or, or, or Elijah loved kelewele! It’s a very special feeling. Read More I Didnt Even Touch Her!

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DO you have one of those “dating lists”? One of the ones that talks explicitly about the type of relationship you want and what you’re looking for in your significant other? Tall, fit, 7 feet 20 inches? Oh yeah? Even if you don’t have it on paper, or on your phone or wherever, I’m sure in your head there are some things you’re thinking the person should have.

I sat with a friend and had a talk about this. Three of her close friends recently got married and they’re all about the same age, so she’s beginning to pressurise herself and is frantically looking for someone. Dating apps, going out, telling everybody to hook her up. She doesn’t need all that pressure, marriage isn’t a race, but that’s beside the point.

During our conversation she mentioned someone she liked and met and how they were talking and everything seemed well and dandy but he didn’t like a specific food, so she wasn’t sure. AH! That would be like saying you cannot date someone because they don’t like fufu. Eh mome, if they don’t like banku they shouldn’t even be in your life, but I digress.

Read More The Non-Negotiable

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I saw a Facebook post days ago that has me giggling till date. It was quoting some Nigerian who said something like “I find that statement; ‘there’s light at the end of the tunnel’ so disrespectful. I mean where I come from there is no light in my home, how much more anywhere near a tunnel? I mean if you want to symbolize hope in a phrase, tell me something like ‘there’s jollof at the end of the speech’ then eheeh, I can understand what you mean.’

I identify with that myself, but the conversation about things at the end of things is very interesting to me…just as interesting is the story about the man David feared and what was at the end of his tunnel.

Now David needs no introduction, I mean even before he got giant warriors Rolling On The Floor (not from laughter), he’d disciplined wild beasts. My favorite David feat though is how in exchange for Saul’s daughter’s hand in marriage he managed to return with the foreskins of 200 philistine soldiers. Pause. Can you imagine the amount of work that goes into getting that many foreskins from unwilling warriors? I don’t think any wanzam has achieved a fraction of that yet. Read More The Man David Feared Gidigidi!

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Good evening people. I have a serious topic I’d like to talk about today.

There’s a silent menace most people aren’t aware of that’s going around causing mischief without the people mainly affected even realizing there’s something gravely wrong. Let me illustrate this even further.

dhmo - shelfThere’s this bit of information floating around through the ether we call the Internet I’m pretty sure most of you are not aware of. There is a growing awareness concerning a substance known as Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) which apparently has been present in increasingly more varied ways within our environment with frankly quite alarming qualities!

Let’s talk some science for a bit as it gets a bit technical here – Now its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. Its atomic components have been found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine, and Ethyl Alcohol! Read More Public Service Announcement: It’s in the Water!

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MEN cheat. Men lie. Men pretend to be one thing and they aren’t in the next minute. Men are unfaithful. Men are disrespectful. We are tired of the ups and downs that men put us through. Can’t someone just come and be a gentleman? Can’t we get a chivalrous man to open doors and stand up for us?

There are plenty of men who need ample work and are nothing to write home about. However, there are equally as many men who are genuine, caring, loving gentlemen. I’m not sure how women can continue to spew this “all men are dogs” talk. There is, at the very least, one man out there who is genuine and respectful. If there is one, there has to be more than one.

Think about it for a second. You can’t possibly think that God created human kind and created jeh jeh women. Women who are good, and virtuous, and respectful, only so they can be left with whom? If there are no good men out there, who are the people who are meant to be your brothers, uncles, fathers, nephews, cousins, and friends?

Read More All Men Are Dogs

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The internet makes the world feel like a neighborhood. A bus runs through a crowd in France and hearts bleed in Accra. A bomb goes off in a Bagbad airport and the traveller in Kotoka shudders. There’s so much tension, so much bad blood, so much political corruption, so many horrific things happening and I might just know how to stop it. For good!

You see, a black president, a policy change, a peace walk, a celebrity campaign against violence are only as effective in dealing with the tragic spate of things as a cup of Sobolo will be in solving a three-day hunger. It wont work. An online campaign wont work. Raising awareness and whatever comes out of it may at best look like its working for a while, but it wont solve it for good. There must be a better way and there is! The family.

Think about it; anyone old enough to say a hurtful word or squeeze a trigger was a cute cuddly baby some years back. He was a blank canvas. He cried when mum pulled out her boob before he was full. He pooped his pants and giggled when he saw the disgust on dad’s face as he changed the diapers. They were born. All of them. But into what? Read More How Terrorists Are Born And The Way Out

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When was the last time you had a headache? I had one yesterday and it was quite the nuisance, I tell you.
pmol - headacheIt’s been years since I had to rely on anyone to get me any drug to take though so I decided to wait it out, unlike the real pounder I had last 2 weeks. Nothing I tried worked – I drank some water, slept, and woke up with it still pulsating. I ended up taking a painkiller to end it and after an hour or so, it actually dissipated and I could get back to season 3 of ‘The Last Ship’ again. 😀

What occurred to me later was actually the utility of an ‘old’ painkiller – Paracetamol. I hated it with a passion when I was much younger because I hadn’t fully managed to wrap my head around how to swallow a bitter pill without actually tasting it – and boy was that taste Vile!

pmol - pmolYears later, before medical school, like the typical Ghanaian, I’d developed a subconscious ‘disrespect‘ that bordered on scorn for that pill! Whenever I’d contract malaria or some other illness with associated pain, I’d mentally shake my head at the lack of smarts of the prescribing doctor in adding Paracetamol to my drugs. Read More Love Like Paracetamol!

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