You’re called to have big dreams. Your imagination is supposed to run wild. There isn’t anything you can imagine that cannot be done if God willed it.

However…

We cannot compare our dreams to that of others. Maybe you are praying for all four years of your university tuition to be paid for, room and board as well, textbooks included, plus even a little extra dough for some entertainment. You also have to be a cool kid. You have been praying fervently and waiting patiently. Then someone who has had a similar prayer comes by one day and tells you they just had their tuition for the upcoming semester paid. Yet here you are, still praying and waiting with nothing to show for it. How annoying is that?

Read More Do You Want This or Nah?

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(You know it’s a really Good One when it has to end with a disclaimer btw!)

I think this whole matter began from infancy – actually, I blame Disney for starting the trend!

Disney first exposed us to Sleeping Beauty (Aurora), Belle, Cinderella, Pocahontas, & even Mulan, as they sold us the subconscious message that every little girl could grow up to be a Princess (if she wasn’t already). And that a princess needs her Prince Charming always…and her fairytale wedding too, apparently.marry - disney

Maybe it’s because we put a lot of emphasis on the white wedding gown that’s so reminiscent of a princess’s royal costume, or it’s because your mother never really had a ceremony so fine herself so she would like her daughter to have something better and more befitting for her special day, or it’s because you come from a special family that leaves no room for a ‘normal’ wedding lest your ancestors be disgraced – I really can’t tell. I am, however, convinced that there must be an easily overlooked reason why the beauty of the wedding photographs of the youth of today seldom matches the state of their marriages afterward. So basically, this is my attempt to point out why from my perch at the back of the church hall.

Marriage is good, I agree. Love is awesome – I agree. Finding someone you love enough to want to marry is almost unarguably the absolute best possible thing a young person might do with their life. But there’s a saying I love to remember when it comes to matters of love – Follow your heart, but carry your brain along.marry - think love

Why on earth would you want to get married without thinking it through??? Read More Marrying Smart, Not Just ‘Well’

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Every now and then I get a mail saying ‘Hey Ben, so I wrote something and I’m wondering if it’s ok to share with everyone?’ I filter a lot of those because I know you and your very tiny tolerance. Immediately you cant see the head or tail of something pe you cant hide it. Why? Why kraa are you like that?

Lol, but it’s good, because it puts Tele, Ewuraesi and I on our toes, but it also sets a standard on what we share from guest bloggers like Sally here today. Sally is a doctor in training and a writer at heart and she brings a very beautiful story.

I am so excited about this piece because it’s such a true reflection of reality captured by putting two extremeties together in a relationship. She starts a conversation that I cant wait to hear your thoughts on. Enough of me, have Sally.

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The first time I encountered the word ‘boyfriend’ in human form, it was Ato, Esi’s boyfriend. He would bring her roses when he came to see her every week. A single pink or white one for a normal day, and a huge red bunch for her birthday or, on any other occasion he deemed special. I thought, it must be nice to have a boyfriend. Or maybe, in retrospect, Ato was just sweet.

Thirty-two months later, I’m staring at the three letters- b.o.o- on Caller ID as the operator informs me for the sixteenth time that i have reached your voicemail. I’m desperately wondering why you’re not here already when you said you were on your way three and a half hours ago, and on about a hundred other occasions. As usual, I’m thinking of coming to look for you, genuinely out of concern, but I remember the first time this happened and i walked forty six minutes and three seconds in the rain, only to find you sprawled across your carpet playing scrabble with that girl from your office-what’s her face? Read More Where Are The Roses? – Guest Blogger Sally Boateng

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IT was one of those parties at Christmas where you didn’t actually know the person throwing the party. However, you knew someone who knew someone else who knew the party-thrower, so that was basically an invitation. And of course you would bump into people you knew because everybody was at these parties.

Myma walked through the gate and saw a group of boys standing around talking and laughing. Going through the line-up she realised she knew some of them, so she went to say hi. She initially only said hi to Dennis, a friend of hers, but because her mother raised her properly, she extended a smiley hello to everyone else. Just as she was walking off, she was summoned back by Dennis because his friend wanted to talk to her. Apparently, said friend, Jason, found her attractive and as is usual with boys, Dennis thought it necessary to let Myma know immediately, in front of all his other friends.

Read More Near Perfect Isn’t Always For You

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What does this have in common with jollof eh?
What does this have in common with jollof eh?

Culture is one the most beautiful things! Like it literally sparks new things in your sensualities, understandings, ambitions, everything! These few months, I’ve been privileged to experience different cultures first-hand. From the risotto alla milanese that nearly embarrassed me (because I had to smile whilst downing it as I held back nauseating pangs so as not to offend my Italian benefactors.) Then i was fascinated  to see German septuageneranian sweethearts chopping more love than naive university lovers.

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Ama, wu nim se we’re in this for life right?

Of all the cultures, I found the French most fascinating! Gooooodddneess! The attention to detail of Ivorian woman, the mentality of the Senegalese wife and the music of the French world!!! It’s mind-boggling. Read More The Biggest Shock Of A Local Champion!

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prov - womanOkay. SO I was focused in church last week and something the pastor said in passing got to me. He was expounding on the Proverbs 31 woman in light of Mother’s Day, and for the first time I realized that contrary to public perception, that verse isn’t just about the Virtuous woman, but also talks about the Man, as he’s meant to be, in the position God meant for him to occupy. I know that virtually all women who have stepped into the hallowed halls of a church have come across this passage at some time or the other and would agree that it’s a standard worth living up to, but most men usually gloss over it at the starting, or only read it at some time or the other to point out what some female in his life lacks. Today we’re turning the tables, and our Bibles, to a new take on Proverbs 31.

Now, just as the Bible was revealed and written for all Mankind, this passage is no exception. The second part is actually the part which focuses on telling all and sundry (including – or maybe especially – men) how to identify the Proverbs 31 woman by her multitude of virtues, while the first part addresses men, giving us a glimpse at what is expected of the Proverbs 31 man.

These are some of the important lessons I learnt from the Proverbs 31 man: Read More The Proverbs 31 Man…??!

Inspiration

On a recent trip out of town, the flight home was delayed until further notice. There’s little more frustrating than being stuck in a foreign country, running out of power on your laptop with the cable tucked away in the luggage you’d already checked in and knowing that some serious jollof is getting cold at home 🙁 Oh, but I was just about to have a cutieful experience!

There was this posh lady sitting behind, not too far away. She was wearing a peach blouse with those fancy criss-cross cuts at the back that let you see some skin without compromising on her class and stylishness. She looked like a professional with little tolerance for nkwasiasem…not that I had any of that up my sleeves. Her hair was a fortune and her makeup was serious! Read More Privileges Of A Cute Baby!

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I distinctly remember going to a church someone had invited my mum to. As a dutiful child, I went along with her. I like to think the person who invited her to this church was a good person, but you never know. It took what felt like ages to get to the church and we made it for the tail end of a worship song. Soon after the preacher began to preach a rather long sermon. None of which spoke to me. At all. Actually, the more he talked, the more peeved I got that we were there.

I wasn’t on fire like that for God yet, so with my little stank attitude I made every effort to show my mother that as for me, I wasn’t having it. I sighed heavily and yawned obnoxiously. I would place my hands under my head and pretend I was sleeping. Anything to get her attention, so she could ask what was wrong. She didn’t.

Read More The Leaders Are Dirty

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My only issue with cinemas and movies shown on TV is that I’m not in control. I like being in control when I’m watching a movie. If the dialogue starts feeling too long, I like to just skip to where the next action is. Today I have an action film to gbaa you, and right about now I’m skipping to where the action is.

Rewind to B.C era. The Israelites are a few years from the promised land. They’ve walked across dry sea land and conquered many many nations, trampling any resistance in their path. But there’s a king who wont have none of that; Balak. He’s the last don. The Mugabe who doesn’t hear. The ogboro who wont idle while a bunch of excons with some invisible God who calls himself almighty come and take his land. He has the perfect plan to destroy them. How? (You’re not reeeaadayyy for this) How?

He sends gift bearing messengers to a prophet who serves the same God as these guys and says; “Yo Baalam, what’s good? Check out these fine clothes I brought for you. You like these gold coins too? It’s nice huh? Okay, how about you curse the Israelites for me. Just finish them with your mouth. I know that those you bless are blessed and those you curse are cursed.” Read More How To Spoil Yourself Well Well

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Relationships are under Attack from all angles and the problems they encounter are Legion! I was musing somewhere last week and it suddenly dawned on me how I could help! I decided to compile a list of some hard and fast rules to letting your love last. I know how hard some people work for it while some others sail quite effortlessly into good relationships with great people, either to take due advantage of the situation or to squander it – based on personal tendencies and whims.

So here’s My List of 12 ways to Secure your Love:

  1. rules - rltnshpDon’t make any noise about it. It’s no one else’s business anyway, is it? So you decided to go out with Fred instead of Francis – there’s really no reason to publicise your new relationship, least of all on Facebook! There has been no research linking the number of likes you get on “Adwoa ****** is now in a relationship with Fred ******” to the security of your relationship from wagging tongues and thirsty girls. Prying eyes and itchy ears will only put more stress on your relationship – don’t let them.

Read More 12 Ways to Bulletproof Your Relationship!

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