Eye-witness account: trucked goats!
Eye-witness account: trucked goats!

Distinguished ladies and gentlemen, all protocol observed. As I write this, there are more goats on the highways to Accra than there are human beings. Tipper trucks, 207 buses, pickups and ambitious motorbikes are all literally bleating! The cows are snickering, insha Allahu Ramadan is a year away. The chickens are fully aware of the genocide ahead. The cockerels are working the hens like Russian immigrants…this earth won’t be their home for long and they know it. The adolescent cocks smile at their lean thighs and bony backs; the reasons why they never won a fight are the same ones that will now increase their life expectancy.

The pigs are not sure how to react. Ghanaians have become too fond of ‘Pork Show’ joints and business class domedo hang outs. They had more hope when the Muslims were celebrating…Christians don’t hear. You know, there’s no question about the fact that Christmas is about the birth of the Messiah, but it also reminds me of my best childhood days. Christmas is when all the joys and luxuries missed out on during the year are compensated for with jollof rice, full boiled eggs, minerals, chips and Piccadilly biscuits. Read More State of The Christmas Address.

Blog

Inspiration strikes at the oddest places sometimes you know – like during your second stanza of 2Baba’s “African Queen”; or between Questions 2 & 3 of your insanely tough Internal Assessment; or when you’re in the middle of early morning ministration on the ceramic ..er..throne…

Kwashie_suitMine struck me just this past Saturday at Kwashie Tailors in Osu (yes, I may shall be doing some shameless indirect advertising here, forgive me, but ɔyɛ good o!). I was there with some friends specifically for a suit fitting to be done. I’ll confess here that this was the very first fitting I’d gone for in my life and I was impressed (but as usual, I digress).

The proprietor, Mr. Kwashie, was an interesting man with a ready smile on his face giving the first impression of a man who is satisfied with where life has brought him so far on his 60-something year long journey with no current objections on the course he’d charted so far.

Now, as I was telling someone recently, one thing that lets me know that I’m growing nowadays is how I look forward to discussions with my elders. I remember the absolute chore it seemed to me to listen to my late grandmother’s tales of her time as a girl in the Convent, and how she had little family that cared for her, and how her parents passed away, and how she planned since childhood to become a nun and…yeah, I usually blanked out somewhere about then. Sometimes now, I wish she was still around to tell me some things about life – maybe my walk would be smoother and I wouldn’t be entangling myself with unnecessary things that bind – but again, I digress. Forgive. Read More A Stitch in Time and the Hidden Dangers of Fruit Salad!

Uncategorized

I’ve given it deep thought. I have brooded on it so long they’ll have hatched by now if they were ostrich eggs. Finally I must admit, the atheists are right! They say that it’s our faith in God that gives Him legitimacy to exist. That He feeds off our worship and if no one gave Him attention, He’d fizzle out like a glorified memory. They’re right.

The only thing with that assertion is, it’s usually made with the confusion of a person’s world for the entire world. Erasing God from your life doesn’t wipe Him off the face of the earth. Burying Him in your mind’s graveyard doesn’t put Him 6 feet under all of creation. You see before any of us felt like we could live without God and classify Him as a fable, a figment of imagination, He had already said that “…and even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a depraved mind….

People feel that by living by their own rules they poke holes in God’s omnipotence. We don’t realize that He’s made it so that our will can trump His when it comes to our lives, but that doesn’t ‘tear His bogga top’. It doesn’t matter what His plans for you are, by saying “No old man! You’re not getting into this mind. Be gone with you.” You have (for as long as you hold that thought) compromised His perfect will for you. It is really up to you alone how much or little of Him you experience in your life. Read More OMG, The Atheists Are Right!

Blog

Feels like January was just a week ago doesn’t it? I mean how long ago was it when your birthday seemed so far off? And now, minus the December guys we’ve all had Facebook friends who never bothered suddenly spare enough time to say HBD, GBU, LLNP or some by-force acronym to spite political parties. And now 2016 is 5 weeks away! There is something that happens 5 weeks to year end that I detest passionately and you’ll see why shortly.

We start each year with enough optimism to turn a funeral into a farewell party. We have six key goals that we must achieve and three new habits we must cultivate and one major weakness we must shed off…then when the last quarter creeps up on us like an unexpected breakup we carry forward all our hopes to the next year.

I resent that. I resent that we hide behind our hopes for next year to give up on this one. Next year is coming in weeks so you dier, let me turn everything I haven’t been able to achieve yet into a prayer topic for next year. We remove our gloves and hang up our boots when November starts breathing down our shoulders, but that is just not consistent with all the classic action feems. Read More Killer Bewu Last Show!

Blog

Every day draws us further into our future and further away from our past. As I also keep saying, “the mistakes you make in your early 20’s have far more grievous consequences in your later 20’s“. If you’re going to toe the line the majority will, sooner or later you’re going to become someone’s wife or husband. I’ve also come to see that we put so much effort into preparing to get married that we fail to realise that we’ve put in zilch effort into being married, by the time we are married…and that’s one surefire recipe for disaster, guys (more on that in another post down the line though).  Ladies, ever been taken home to Mama before? Did you pass?? Oh, you didn’t realise it was a test?! Like seriously?? *Whew* Then read on – everybody does well with some apor after all 😉

 

I’m writing from this angle because I’m… *sigh* (I know this will get me into a lot of trouble but I’m going to say it In This Context Alone and then it is Finished…!) I am Mama’s boy. I’m the last born and the only son of my mother so you’ve got to believe me when I say I’ve got some right (or is it responsibility?) to write this today. I sometimes write stuff that needs to be said too – and heard – at least once in your life by a close friend (whom you’ll hopefully believe…but I digress).

My attention was drawn to an old piece I wrote some time ago –  about who a Lady was – by a friend of mine a week ago and as I went through it all over again my Muse started whispering in my ear. She asked me a simple question: “What next?” Read More Taking Her Home to Mama

Uncategorized

Not everyone who visits here is a reader, some are actually more inspired writers than myself.

I was there last week norr and Constante hit me up “Ben, I’ve written this piece and I must share it with the world.” So that wish is coming to pass, and not because she asked, but rather because when I read it, I knew it was the kind of thing you’d like. From how it goes, you won’t need to know the lady to know she’ll be good at romancing paaah. Lol. Enjoy

*         *        *

I recently bumped into an old friend of mine. We hadn’t met in years and the memory he had of me was so belated. So he started acting with me accordingly, until he realised that both my dance and the drumming had changed. Then he exclaimed: ‘You’ve changed! Read More Romancing God -By Constante Gakpo

Blog

So…I’d have sung a song to melt your hearts to convince you to forgive me once again, but this is too serious of a matter to outsource to comedy so I trashed that idea.

 

Comeback _ whisperI woke up yesterday morning with the once-familiar voice whispering in my ears and I shot up out of my convalescent bed and started typing quickly before my Muse could decide to vanish abruptly again, as she has in the past few months.

For the first time in a long time, I managed to finish a piece in record time but I decided to talk to Benjy first to sort out another issue before posting it. That was when he drew my attention to the necessity for this particular piece to come out before the one I penned yesterday. Read More Let’s Try This Again…

Uncategorized


My favorite TV ad from the 90s was about a man with an unhealthy faith in a shady lotto doctor who predicted winning lottery numbers that never won. His wife, smelling the lotto doctor’s rot, asked her man;

“So why is the lotto doctor not rich?”

“O, he’s a good Samaritan, that’s all.” And that’s how that classic phrase was born.

That line reminds me of simpler days and I smile. Italso reminds me of the one thing I vowed never to be; a signboard, pointing to a destination I won’t enjoy myself. I’d be anything but that lotto doctor who didn’t heed his own predictions. All these months I’ve talked about dreaming big, asking more of life, daring to achieve, making a generational impact and all those fancy things that really are easier said than done. Read More Why Is The Lotto Doctor Not Rich?

Blog

A few times a year, I receive an email that reconfigures my entire outlook on life. It usually comes from Goldinwords readers I’ve never met. Last week one came through and I begged Akos to let me share it with you.

I know I am blessed and there’s so much so be grateful to God for, but every now and then I catch myself asking “Why not a 6 pack God? Would it have upset the course of history so much if I was 6ft tall? Why this slow metabolism God? Why wasn’t dad around more often? Why did you let my GHC 50 get lost last night? How can you claim to love me if you still haven’t answered the one prayer I’ve been making since 2011?”

You and I we’re like that. Small p3 then we find ‘proofs’ to the thought that God isn’t that loving or caring. Sometimes we get stuck in that rut and become angry and bitter. Akos talks about all the better reasons she had to think and feel same and how she resolved it. Her opening line is a knockout punch. Read More How To Settle A Beef With God

Blog

My friend’s dad said to him last month; don’t marry a woman from a broken home…she’ll be carrying her mother’s fears in her. I think there’s as much risk in dating a woman like that as there is in dating a man from a complete family but with an irresponsible dad. These days there are broken homes that are still together only in the technical sense.

You, me we’ve all been hurt before. In some ways we are the sum total of our pains and joys, our memories and experiences. The things we go through are the chisels that shape us into who we are, and in time, it becomes difficult to tell between hurt-induced opinions and God-induced ones. In time our subjective experiences find their way into our objective opinions. So when our carpenters, mechanics or bosses advice us, it’s laden with their individual experiences, which is easier to discern. The problematic ones are those that come from scarred parents.

I love the Krobos because of the sensual knowledge mothers and grandmothers pass on to daughters about to get married. All mothers pass on knowledge of sorts, but some pass on venom. They charge their daughters to avenge them for the lives their fathers held them back from leading. If a man cheated on them, they convince their daughters that all men are bleating goats, so don’t lose sleep over a promiscuous husband. Read More Mother Of The Bride

Blog