Hi Fam, we’re on track! Here’s where we left off last week;

“Ei thiiissss guy.” Hans said, snapping him from his trance. “So this be why you come church eh.”

“Oh commot for there. You not hear that verse before? Seek ye first.”

“Yoo, you dey there den  dey tell me ‘Seek ye first.’ E be Elsie you go seek first?”

“Why you know am?”

“Me I not go talk anything o.”

“Eeenh, make you not talk, what?” With that, he changed the subject, they talked about other things, and parted ways.

Yaw saved the number, full of hope and excitement. The future was pregnant with possibilities.

“Sorry God” he apologised once more “For saying ‘shit”   

***

III

“Hi, Elsie?”

“Yes?”

“How’re you?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Yaw…you gave me your-“

“oh yes, I remember. Hi Yaw, how’re you?”

“Honestly?

(giggles) “Yes, honestly.”

“Nervous”

“Www..why?”

“Be-be-because…because I’ve done something incredibly risky.”

(sighs in deep interest, mutes the TV) “Risky?”

“Yes”

“Tell me”

“I’ve let myself like you to much too soon when this could go all kinds of ways and…and…and I’m aware that telling you this could make things very awkward and possibly end this conversation prematurely.”

(long pause) “so…why did you choose to tell me?”

“I was suffocating”

giggles

“I’m the kind of guy that, well, I don’t know how to mince words. I don’t face my fears because I’m brave; the dread of being haunted is worse.

(almost whispering) I’m a fear?”

“Yes. No, not like that (sighs) I feel better now.”

“What, you’re over me already?”

“No, not that. It’s the burden of needing you to know. It’s lifted now.”

(pauses. for long) “What’re you doing now?”

“Fooling myself.”

(amidst a laugh) “How?”

“I’m in the office, trying to work, knowing full well I’m too distracted to.”

“Myyyyyy Mr, Yaw fear seems to bring out the best in you.”

he laughs

“But work on a Saturday night, that’s pathetic”

“I know”

“Where’s your office?”

“Labone”

“I see. I’m heading out, to do my nails in Osu. WhatsApp me your location, I might pass by.” Read More The Steamy Church Romance III

Blog Religion short story

When I started, I had no intention of writing a part 2. And now there’s a part 3 coming up next week! See how you get me weak in the knees? lol. Here’s where we left off;

She laughed “Sorry, I don’t give my numbers out like that.” With that she slid into the front seat of the car. Her friend did same and started the engine. Yaw didn’t see it coming. Something about his disorientation made her feel bad. She rolled her window down halfway “But maybe after the third time I see you in church, I might reconsider.” She smiled as they drove off.

He watched their taillight disappear into the darkness, smiling like a piglet. He started thinking to himself what department in the church to join.

***

II

She was on his mind all throughout the week. She stained his mind. He tried to find her on Facebook. 12 hours went into that search, literally! but her face didn’t show. The more unfindable she was, the more he craved to find her. She didn’t come to church on Sunday, but that wasn’t a shocker; most people came for the Friday night prayer service then went to their own churches on Sundays.

On Friday, he felt what David meant when he said “I was glad when they said unto me…” He was distracted the whole service, turning in the direction of every motion, hoping it was her coming in. She didn’t show. He felt frustrated; he’d been present but absent from the service and missed out on being edified. The person who could have made it all worth it too didn’t show. Bummer! Next Friday was the same. He started to think maybe she was some boga who’d returned to Alabama. Read More The Steamy Church Romance II

Blog Religion short story

“Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen,” the Master of Ceremonies boomed impressively into the microphone, followed by a barely perceptible whisper it would fail to pick, “…though I use the term very lightly.” His stare fell on the Nigerian AJẸ delegation as he did – luckily, they didn’t appear to have noticed the veiled slight.

The first Worldwide Awards Ceremony for the Practitioners of the Alternate Arts (as it was billed at the lobby of the 5-star hotel, welcoming delegates to the exclusive event ) was finally on and attendance was impressive. Registered delegates were from over 95 countries by the last count, with the sizes of each delegation ranging from a minimum of 3 to about 12 – of course, the largest were from African countries mostly (this international gathering would be just like most mainstream ones in that regard, it appeared).

The Swedish HaXa Chapter had been finally chosen to host the programme and they couldn’t be more impressed with themselves…in that stoic, silent, Swedish way of course. Read More Who is Really Doing You??!

Inspiration Religion short story

Living in Ghana, I think we learn about God firstly through a sensational experience before we learn about Him any other way. Maybe because your mother or father had someone pray over you and you were forced to feeeeel the Spirit before you even know who or what he was and why he was so intent on being felt by you.

You rarely get an explanation of who the Trinity is, what their purpose is, or who is who in said Trinity. You must believe because your father believes, and your father’s father, and their parents before them. And God forbid you be the one who doesn’t follow the path the ancestors have set. No questions can be asked, because how dare you question God?

Based on that experience, of relating to God viscerally before you can relate to him emotionally or mentally, I think, I think we tend to become slaves of that visceral feeeeling of God.

There’s nothing wrong with that though…right? How do you know God is there if people aren’t wailing and you not breaking out in goosebumps everywhere? And if that’s how to feel God, I don’t think I feel God anymore.

Read More I Don’t Feel God Anymore

Blog Religion

So my friend’s lifelong dream of travelling to the US was dashed last Thursday, not due to a Trump executive order, his story is more graphic. His whole office knew he was going for a visa interview. His wife was preparing a visa approved supper and intra-copular after-parry. He wore his favourite suit and had his ashrishrishri game on like no one’s business. In fact my friend’s ashrishri game is so tight I was sure the consular officer was going to confuse him for a childhood friend. But alas, that was not to be.

The impudent officer didn’t care who the heck my friend was or the non refundable dollars that was on the line here. He didn’t care that my friend with his vivid imagination had already arrived at JFK and was only waiting for his giant brown suitcase to show up on the carousel so he’d check out into the chilly New York morning. He didn’t care that this my friend already had a $200 winter jacket gift from his cousin in his baggage, waiting to be worn on arrival. He was too busy, he had a lot to do, he just wasn’t buying my friend’s story, so there and then nor he bounced the guy. Chaaiiiii, wharrashock! My friend -being accustomed to bribing Ghana police- wasn’t sure whether slipping a GHC 5 note to this guy would make a difference. Read More The Prophet Is Too Busy For You!

Blog Religion

Reverend Kwaku Asaph was beaming from ear to ear. This would be his last sermon at the main City branch of the United Christian Church in Ghana but he seemed to have overcome the deep sadness he’d been feeling ever since he’d finally decided to retire from active pastoring.

He’d felt led to do so ever since two months ago when he’d received that letter but as a pastor, he’d warred within for the first month. In fact, he’d started by binding the still voice, fasting and praying for 14 days at a point! He’d finally accepted the conviction as genuine when he’d been woken up from sleep one morning. A quiet voice, as clear as a bell but as soft as a breeze, spoke next to his ear, Isaiah 43:19…

He’d rolled over in bed, careful not to disturb the Rev. Mrs., and reached for his reference bible. He’d taken to sleeping with a dimmed night light on over the past few months so he could see the words clearly now in its light. He smiled as he quietly repeated the words to himself:

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

If he had any doubts about the veracity of the idea that had been bouncing around in his mind over the past month or so, this Word silenced it.

A bit prone to the dramatic, the Reverend lay back on the bed with his bible spread out on his chest and smiled as he drifted off to sleep again.

Can’t wait for this Sunday… Read More The Last Sermon

Inspiration Religion Uncategorized

So this is actually an old one from way back when – 1st Generation Goldinwords – you could call it, before our first remix and subsequent loss of some good stuff…luckily, nothing really dies off in Cyberspace.

I wrote this one day after I had a discussion with a good friend about our fellow Christian brethren  (& sisthren 🙂 ) and their attitude to relationships. I could tell you what it’s all about, or leave you to draw your own conclusions…guess which option I’m picking? Enjoy 😀

 

She was lost twice over1womanprays

Before she met this Christian Brother

He told her life could be much better

And so he drew her near to meet his dear Father

Till with many days of desperate prayer

From her burdens the Lord managed to deliver her.

 

Whilst growing in His garden as a Pretty Flower

His servant, Christian Brother, drew still closer

Praying and fasting until he could finally lightly sputter

To Christian Sister that he truly loved her Read More To the Christian in Love…

Inspiration Poems Religion

Out of uncontrollable curiosity, I’ve hung out with Old Testament Boys Boys, Genesis Loversthe most notorious OT King I even chatted up David & Joesph on SEX and women! Of them all, meeting with the Bible’s baddest man filled me with the greatest anxiety.

This was a guy who lived in a cemetery. He lived, in a place I drive past at full speed at night. I mean even cemetery jokes are scary. Like the one of the taxi driver who stepped on the accelerator when he noticed that the lady he was about to pick up around the Osu cemetery had an unusual sheen about her. 500 yards off when his heartbeat was returning to normal, he heard someone panting in the car, looked in the rear-view and saw the shiny lady out of breath. She smiled and gasped “Herh, driver, if I hadn’t been fast you’ll have gone and left me o!”

Of all residences, that’s where this guy lived for a long time. In those days, he was the strongest human in Gerasenes. There was no one else who was strong enough to subdue him. So you can understand why I had mixed feelings. But at the same time he had such a powerful story, so I had a mutual friend set up a meet.

Since becoming normal, he’d set up a very successful practice. He was a busy man so if I wanted to talk, I had to go to his office. The man I saw, was anything but the man I was expecting to see. He was clean-shaven, very well dressed, athletic build, intense hazel eyes, calm demeanor, carefully-chosen words and an unusual chilly smile.

Ex-Bad: You look stunned.

Me: Uh-uhmmn, a little. I’m sorry.

Ex-Bad: Don’t worry, I get that a lot.

I sighed and sat across from him, unsure of where to start.

Me: How many were they (I blurted) The demons.

Ex-Bad: (snickered) you don’t do niceties I see.

Me: I’m sorry, I’ve been too curious for too long.

Ex-Bad: Hmm hooww mannyyy? They were a legion. I watch TB Joshua these days and hear people Read More Me And The Bible’s Baddest Man!

Blog Religion

I feel so sorry for God. I know how frustrated I get in an argument when I’m trying to explain myself and I’m misunderstood. By one person! But there’s God, misunderstood by a world. Politicians who knew they’d be corrupt before hitting puberty swear by his word on induction. Suicide bombers chant his name just before obliterating thousands. Desperate liars swear by him to plead innocence they never had.

We print our trust in him on the same monies we bribe our way through life with. It’s funny how law courts are probably next after the church in terms of institutions that make use of the Holy Book, and still, lawyers are the lead characters in urban myths about professionals who get buried facedown. Irresponsible parents, selfish humans, social deviants and lovers of the same sex –including leaders of the most loved brands- cling to the will of God as the alibi for their depravation. They claim the creator of all things created them so. It was His will. Poor God.

We rush out of clubs into choir robes. We clasp our hands to pray but smell the scent of dark holes our fingers have probed and poked nights before. We post Bible verses as status updates as if to compensate for the despicable status of our souls. Poor God.

Perverts and sexual predators Read More Poor God 🙁

Religion

Screen Shot 2014-09-18 at 1.26.32 PMAs exciting as this post is, it’s slightly longer than they normally are here. So if you like, you can download the e-book  of it HERE, or  click on the thumbnail to the left, or just scroll down to read. Holla if you face any issues. Now on to business 🙂

We Met At Mövenpick

I’ve always been fascinated by the romantic. In my last year of uni, I witnessed a full-grown boy jump unto the bonnet of a moving car in protest of the rich kid who was driving off with his Julie –not under duress. It was a weird combination of hilarious, serious and romantic.

But oh! I digress; this isn’t about desperate boyfriends or colluding girlfriends. Today, it’s all about Abraham & Sarah. These days anyone’s half-baked love story can get turned into a winding telenovela with an Alahandro or Jose Luis featuring prominently. But how about the father of nations and his woman? How was their relationship like? I’ve always wanted to know so much!

Screen Shot 2014-09-18 at 1.06.05 PMSo I asked for a meet-up last Friday night at Mövenpick (before I found out what lil wyn thought of the place,) but they didn’t show until later that night in my dreams.

Funny thing is, I was in the same jeans and lacoste at the same spot I’d waited at, but there was so much less activity. You know how in your dreams you can see an Nkrumah statue beside the Statue of Liberty and it’ll seem normal? It was a lot like that. Abe (as I affectionately call him) was in a Woodin t­­op over jeans (casual Friday) and Sarah….oohhh Sarah was in one of those long, flowing armless African print dresses. She wore a dark brown jacket over it. Before I could say a word, she smiled, reached out for a hug and said.

Abe & The Wife Snatchers

Sarah:Sorry Ben, should have notified you about the change of plans.

Me:      Issorryyt, but did you guys not like Mövenpick? It’s like the classiest place in Accra right now o.

Sarah: Noo, it’s okay. It’s just that Abe spotted an Egyptian, and suddenly felt woozy.

Abe:    Not true.

Sarah: Yes true. I saw the look in your eyes.

Me:      Why? Why doesn’t he like Egyptians?

Sarah: The boy’s asking you something (She nudged him mischievously).

Abe:    You wont understand Ben.

Me:      Try me. There’re a couple of guys I don’t like myself.

Abe:    Well –he hesitated- this is very different. Many years ago when Read More Me & The Genesis Lovers

Blog Inspiration Religion