Over the past two months, I’ve got three different messages from some Steve guy. First I thought it was spam, but the way he’d taken his time to fill out all the required details, it was clear this guy was legit. In it, he was telling me that my favourite apologist, a man whose talks, sermons and intellectual arguments in defence of Christianity has impacted me beyond words, had been recently involved in a sex scandal! There norrrrr my heart did kpa. He’d even added links I could read on to see for myself. I’m hopelessly curious, so me too I clicked on it. There were copious well-crafted narrations all ‘proving’ that indeed Ravi was guilty.

I went back to Google, and typed ‘Ravi Zacharias in sex scandal’. The links that came up were from a specific kind of sites…about three of them. Immediately I sensed foul play. It felt more like the result of a well-brainstormed lifelong mission and unrelenting determination to defame Ravi. But I caught myself thinking ‘So what?’ So what if Ravi had done it? What if he had five children with different women and there were sex tapes? what if he was a kleptomaniac or a patron of a porn website? So what? Will I suddenly start looking for a second wife? Will I suddenly start entertaining thoughts that his powerful messages had dispelled from my mind? Will I be justified in courting my sensualities? Tweaaaaaa! Read More My Mentor In A Scandal?!

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This right here is one of my personal faves from 2013. Come for your data if you dont enjoy it!

Rebecca1

I spotted the most beautiful woman last Saturday. I’d gone for a wedding at the Trade fair in Labadi, and everyone was moving to the reception on the lush lawn close by. Then I saw her smiling as she posed for a picture. There was something striking about her. As cliché as it sounds I felt we’d met before, she looked too gorgeous for me to have forgotten a previous encounter, but I still couldn’t place her.

Half an hour later, after the bride had thrown her bouquet and one of “all the single ladies’ had caught it, I noticed that the seat beside her had become vacant. I’m past the stage where I dilly dally about talking to a captivating girl, missing the chance and bashing myself for weeks after. After all, I have an impressive complimentary card, I’m no ‘likkle buoy’.

“Hi,” I said sliding into the chair beside her “you have the kind of weekend glory that makes the bride seem like a regular weekday.”

“Sorry?” she asked, genuinely baffled

“Ummn” I stuttered “Sorry. I should stop that…ummn, no no, I meant I shouldn’t have said that. I’m terrible at pick-up lines, somehow I imagined that’ll make you smile.” My palms were sweaty and I puffed out air like I’d just jogged a mile. Read More Rebecca & I

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For some months this year, I had problems writing. Not like I was suddenly confused with tenses and was calling her him or they’re their, nothing like that. I just found it incredibly difficult to set time apart and hit you up like i’m doing now. Work has been hectic, adjusting to family man life is still work in progress, but I wont put the blame on excuses. I think something deeper has been at play.

Writers call something ‘writers block’; it’s supposed to be this understandable period of time when your ‘muse’ goes silent and you have little or no inspiration or spark to write something worthwhile. You feel some internal resistance and putting words together feels harder than lifting cement. You give up and watch Game of Thrones then call it a day.

It exists in all fields under different names. At work, you suddenly struggle to do something you could glide through. At school, reading a page feels harder than writing an exam. It all feels like a drudge and becomes quite frustrating. Your ‘A Game’ seems to have taken a sabbatical and the driven you is suddenly suspended in a zero-gravity space. Read More How To Rid Your Head of Rubbish Voices

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You’re something else, you know that? I had a one-episode story when I first wrote this and you drew 5 parts out of me, way to go!

So today, I present you the grand finale of this story I myself have fallen in love with. So much so that, I’ve made a voice recording of the first few paragraphs (you know I hardly do that) Even better, I’ve got an awesome surprise for you at the end of this post! Ok, enough of my brah brah brah…here’s where we left off last week;

On Saturdays, they usually gave each other space for the first half of the day; he’d play morning soccer with the boys, finish it off with squad waakye, return home to nap and work a little before meeting up with her around 4pm for an endless list of possibilities.

On this particular Saturday, whilst he was celebrating his winning goal with the softest wele, a whatsapp came through from Elsie and that’s when he noticed he’d missed two calls from her.

‘I need to dash off to London tonight. Let’s talk when you see this.”

                                                                                                     ***

London or Lapaz? Could it be autocorrect? Who wakes up and suddenly has to be in London? It must be some kind of a joke. Where from this? By the time he got to her house, she was nearly done packing.

“You weren’t kidding?”

“Why would I?”

“Why what’s up?”

“Something urgent, I’ll explain when I return.”

“You don’t expect me to just accept that do you?”

Read More The Steamy Church Romance; Finale +Voice Note!

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The honest plan was to finish this story in one post, but the way things are going, it would have meant keeping you waiting an extra week. Looking at how endangered this would make my life, I’m releasing this now. Here’s where we left off;

“Look. At. Those. Feet!” She said when they were done with him. She wasn’t exaggerating, even he had trouble recognising his feet. “How does it feel?”

“Like fresh air blowing over a santo head for the first time.” They laughed, along with the attendants.

He was about to pay when she stopped him. He insisted. “I let you drive, return the favor.” She complied. They were the last to leave. He couldn’t believe it; in his entire 29 years, he never imagined that his first date (if he could call it so) with someone he felt he could actually like would be at a nail parlour.

She felt peckish, so they stopped for ice-cream at Pinnochios. She chose for him. It was actually nice. She dropped him off at the office.

“Thanks Elsie, for my first ever pedicure. I’m beginning to worry my face now looks like the poor relative.”

She laughed. “You’re alright Yaw. You’re alright.” She revved the engine and drove off.

*     *     *

 “Hey, you coming in today?” Yaw whatsapped

“Yup, but might be a little late.”

“I could save a seat for you.”

“Cool. Thanks :-)”

He walked her to her car after service. He noticed Hans making faces, but swerved him. He wasn’t ready to have an office buddy make things awkward. She had her signature scent on; La Vie est Belle. It made him linger when they hugged. She plucked herself, smiling.

She thought of him as she drove home. The old Elsie would never have given Yaw a chance…but time changes, so do people. He was such a good boy. He looked like he could be a bad boy, had the fashion sense of a cool dude, but he was a pure breed. He didn’t play games. He wasn’t rushing into her skirt, but he wasn’t as lively and boisterous as she was used to, and yet these were the same reasons why she felt drawn to him.

“Confused girl!” she said to herself. Then a chill run through her heart. If they did stand a chance, then there’d come a time when they’d come clean and debrief each other on their pasts. She shuddered. Read More The Steamy Church Romance IV

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Hi Fam, we’re on track! Here’s where we left off last week;

“Ei thiiissss guy.” Hans said, snapping him from his trance. “So this be why you come church eh.”

“Oh commot for there. You not hear that verse before? Seek ye first.”

“Yoo, you dey there den  dey tell me ‘Seek ye first.’ E be Elsie you go seek first?”

“Why you know am?”

“Me I not go talk anything o.”

“Eeenh, make you not talk, what?” With that, he changed the subject, they talked about other things, and parted ways.

Yaw saved the number, full of hope and excitement. The future was pregnant with possibilities.

“Sorry God” he apologised once more “For saying ‘shit”   

***

III

“Hi, Elsie?”

“Yes?”

“How’re you?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Yaw…you gave me your-“

“oh yes, I remember. Hi Yaw, how’re you?”

“Honestly?

(giggles) “Yes, honestly.”

“Nervous”

“Www..why?”

“Be-be-because…because I’ve done something incredibly risky.”

(sighs in deep interest, mutes the TV) “Risky?”

“Yes”

“Tell me”

“I’ve let myself like you to much too soon when this could go all kinds of ways and…and…and I’m aware that telling you this could make things very awkward and possibly end this conversation prematurely.”

(long pause) “so…why did you choose to tell me?”

“I was suffocating”

giggles

“I’m the kind of guy that, well, I don’t know how to mince words. I don’t face my fears because I’m brave; the dread of being haunted is worse.

(almost whispering) I’m a fear?”

“Yes. No, not like that (sighs) I feel better now.”

“What, you’re over me already?”

“No, not that. It’s the burden of needing you to know. It’s lifted now.”

(pauses. for long) “What’re you doing now?”

“Fooling myself.”

(amidst a laugh) “How?”

“I’m in the office, trying to work, knowing full well I’m too distracted to.”

“Myyyyyy Mr, Yaw fear seems to bring out the best in you.”

he laughs

“But work on a Saturday night, that’s pathetic”

“I know”

“Where’s your office?”

“Labone”

“I see. I’m heading out, to do my nails in Osu. WhatsApp me your location, I might pass by.” Read More The Steamy Church Romance III

Blog Religion short story

When I started, I had no intention of writing a part 2. And now there’s a part 3 coming up next week! See how you get me weak in the knees? lol. Here’s where we left off;

She laughed “Sorry, I don’t give my numbers out like that.” With that she slid into the front seat of the car. Her friend did same and started the engine. Yaw didn’t see it coming. Something about his disorientation made her feel bad. She rolled her window down halfway “But maybe after the third time I see you in church, I might reconsider.” She smiled as they drove off.

He watched their taillight disappear into the darkness, smiling like a piglet. He started thinking to himself what department in the church to join.

***

II

She was on his mind all throughout the week. She stained his mind. He tried to find her on Facebook. 12 hours went into that search, literally! but her face didn’t show. The more unfindable she was, the more he craved to find her. She didn’t come to church on Sunday, but that wasn’t a shocker; most people came for the Friday night prayer service then went to their own churches on Sundays.

On Friday, he felt what David meant when he said “I was glad when they said unto me…” He was distracted the whole service, turning in the direction of every motion, hoping it was her coming in. She didn’t show. He felt frustrated; he’d been present but absent from the service and missed out on being edified. The person who could have made it all worth it too didn’t show. Bummer! Next Friday was the same. He started to think maybe she was some boga who’d returned to Alabama. Read More The Steamy Church Romance II

Blog Religion short story

How many women do you know with numerous pinterest boards or folders of pictures on their phone of the decor they want at their wedding? They know what shoes they’ll be wearing, and which ones their husband-to-be will be wearing to match that. They have options A, B, C anddd D for venues, because being prepared is always necessary. Or men who want to ride in a fancy car and have all twenty-seven of their guys be groomsmen in their matching suits.

The wedding party’s entrance is fleeky. Everybody has their own song. There’s even a choreography for entertainment in the middle of the night. And of course, no party is complete without the best DJ in town, and food that everyone is talking about months later. So every time someone says the word jollof now, we must all remember that amaaaazing jollof that you had at your wedding.

Everything is in place for the wedding to be lit, as they say. Assumedly, so is their marriage.

Read More The Race to the Wedding

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You remember I told you I work in advertising right? Some days back I was in Cape Town to shoot a few commercials for a client. I dare not start on how beautiful the city is, lest this turns into a travel blog. Anyways so my colleague and I went down to the Waterfront Mall, which is…well which is what a mall is actually supposed to be like. I lost like 5 kilos walking from entrance 1 to 3!

There were countless food outlets and I didn’t want to waste stomach space so I asked Google to help me out with the best steak joints around, there was one downstairs to my right. The menu was artistically pasted on a board where they had even explained how they let the meat stay on the carcass for 3 days and then marinated it for 28 days. Myyyy goodness! I thought “They started preparing my lunch last month!” With such a reputation, location, ventilation, matriculation (now I’m just fooling here,lol) the PRICE was to be expected. Read More My Cape Town Brodo Story

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Hiiiiii! Have you missed me? Because I have missed you, terribly. I’m sorry about my absence. Life happened and I was trying to figure out how to do life, instead of make life do me, so to speak. But enough with the excuses, please don’t leave me and I promise I won’t leave you again.

Speaking of life, let’s talk about mine for a bit…

 

As you may or may not know, I had a really hard time finding a job after I was done with school. Partially because I’m not much of a “Settler” but also because jobs just aren’t out there for the picking. Not the way most people (read: millennials like myself) would expect.

While going through the search, I had, as I usually did, written down a lengthy list of all the things I wanted in and from my job. I would be sure to remind God of it every so often, so if something came around that was missing what I considered to be an uncompromisable element, then I would kindly nudge him and let him know. I have also always been a person who has had numerous things happening at the same time; it’s all I’ve known. I quite enjoy having to juggle different elements of my life and making them fit, and for the most part I do this quite well.

Read More The Cluttered Mind

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