Hi y’all. I decided to finally finish something I’ve had on the back burner for over a year now – so you know it’s going to be a good one.
#TeleTuesdays Rock, don’t they?!!
I’ve thought long and hard about this and the only conclusion I’ve come to is simple: I’m going to steal someone else’s girl!
Now wait a minute there! Before you go condemning Tele that I’m just being crazy and talking smack out of turn, hear me out. I won’t do it…like that…I mean, if I Did do something like that I know it’d be morally wrong…take a pause for a minute there and let me present my case.
No woman likes a man whom other women don’t like.
That’s a saying someone said to me a long time ago and it’s proven wise counsel indeed! Ever wonder why there always seem to be so many opportunistic witches around your boyfriend who weren’t there before you started officially going out with him?? The truth is that women realised this little fact first, far before any men took notice (maybe it had something to do with the survival instinct, needing someone you’re sure can ‘Take care of you properly’ and all *wink* *wink* – I don’t really know).
Most of us enter relationships with nothing but hopes and the belief that the other person will be there for you when you need them to – basically, we hope they’re the responsible type whom we can rely on. As time and chance will probably show you after a few rounds about the block however, it seems more often than not unlikely to end up that way.
To be fair however, women have received the short end of the stick for quite a while now, having to contend with players, cheapskates, freeloaders and lazy bums from all walks of life, more often than not – not to say that there aren’t any Bad Girls out there (a subject for another time ). So, in the manner pretty ladies have learnt to slam down all 77 Walls of Protection when that guy with a half-smile and a baller’s cap perched at a rakish angle walks up and says “You’re so beautiful girl, what’s your pretty name?”, women also developed the closest thing to a sure-fire way of determining whether a guy is worthy of their attentions: a recent history of responsibility and fidelity. And what history of such is more recent and reliable than the presence of a girlfriend/wife now??
I must admit, it’s such a beautiful plan that I’ve decided to conscript it for use as one of the more controversial tactics of the Good Guys Fraternity of Ghana! I’m only tweaking it small so the more conservative members of our Fraternity don’t kick against it outright – I (we) won’t go splitting up an obvious match made in Heaven. Our focus range will be from relationships involving Awesome ladies & Insufferable jackasses to Awesome ladies & Potentially Cool guys who take them for granted (said range will be amenable to modification and reinterpretation as time goes on and we leave the pilot stages of implementation of this scheme).
We (I) have not yet decided on a name for this grand scheme but a few slogans fielded by my focus group for consideration and possible adoption are ‘When a Good Guy goes Bad…’, ‘Good Guys: a Remixed Experience’, and my personal favourite ‘Good Guys 2.0: because you deserve better’!
This is an extended campaign we’re planning to simultaneously launch in 2 major cities in Ghana – Accra & Kumasi – before spreading out to other locales by the 2nd Quarter of next year based on positive results we hope to achieve through further modification of our modus operandi. Talks are already underway for a similar pilot project in Nigeria set to roll out by the 2nd Half of next year.
I believe we have more than enough Good young men in our Fraternity to serve the needs of all these wonderful young ladies around who are so underappreciated, unloved and undervalued.
To the young men out there who will inevitably fall afoul of this new initiative, take this piece as a downed gauntlet thrown at your feet in the fashion of the valiant knights of old to challenge you to face us – we won’t sneak behind your backs to get your girls. We will be complimenting them on their new hairstyles, bringing them little gifts just because, calling them up to find out how their day is going, dropping them off at home without asking to be allowed in for a drink (we don’t drink much by the way), staying long enough to say hi to their parents and siblings whenever we drop by to visit, taking them out just to talk at a patisserie or just to a movie, and we will even listen to all their grievances – yes, even those against you – without prejudice, because sometimes all they really need is to be heard.
We are tired of the Bad Girls you leave for us – both the intrinsically Bad ones and the Good ones your stupidity wickedness callousness err…negligence created in your backwash as you cut a swathe through them on your campaign to sow your bloody wild oats.
We too deserve better. We will heal their broken hearts and snatch them out of your thieving paws, dust them up and place them back on the pedestal every Lady deserves to be set upon by a man, flaws and all.
And though we are non-militant, woe betide you if we find you trying to come back into the splendid life we build together with them – I hope you’ve seen Fight Club? Law-Abiding Citizen?? Death Note??? No?! Well, maybe you should. Let me assure you that the last place you want to push a Good Man is to the wall.
Good Girls out there, fear not. Plans are far advanced to set this project rolling forward. You can even help us quicken the pace by stopping those Bad Guys in their tracks already before we even get there! Remember that you are worth everything to the Right Guy (who Is your Good Guy). It may seem daunting to let go without someone else to fill the gap (in case none of our Representatives reaches you just yet – it’s backlog we beg, bear with us for a little longer please) but let me assure you that 5 minutes with Mr. Good Guy, is worth more than a year with Mr. Bad Guy.
Let me however issue a disclaimer here: not all of our Representatives are suave or may seem like your ‘type’ from Day 1 – please exercise some patience with them because they may have also been injured just as you have before and may even need you to polish them up a bit before they also become your Mr. Right in every way. Feel free to initiate things if some of us seem too shy or hesitant to approach you at first also – it’s 2014 and times have changed, we aren’t as intimidated by strong women as our fathers were, contrary to what the tabloids all seem to be screaming.
I would have loved to continue this Public Service Announcement for much longer with in-depth details on how to handle your Good Guys et cetera, but I believe you’ve got some late December house cleaning to do (tomorrow is Rubbish Pick-up Day – make sure you pack all those opportunistic Bad Guys out to the curb so the Zoomlion workers can dispose of them for you ASAP!)
PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe.