Letter to My Dear True Wife II…

So the other day, my Muse got to work and put this together for me…another chat across time and space, but with a different twist this time…

Welcome To #TeleTuesdays

 

Sweetheart, mother of my own…

This is the second letter I’m just leaving somewhere to gather dust till you find it someday down the line – and if you haven’t seen the first one, don’t worry, you’ll find it soon enough. I wrote them at different times and places in my life so my language and subject matter are different.

I remember the last one was actually from a place of Happiness and Delight. I remember being so hopeful that I would bump into you any day soon and having this whole optimistic outlook to everything…

I’m sorry babe but today I’m so down – it happened again. I thought I’d found you only for it to turn into another mirage. I’d like for you to believe that I’ve always been the strong man you’re more accustomed to presently but the truth is that I’ve been weak before. I’ve been broken before, I’ve been corruptible before, I’ve been petty before, I’ve been untrustworthy before. I’ve made excuses before, I’ve kept quiet before, I’ve lied before, I’ve lived a lie before. I’ve scraped rock bottom before, and not even just once – I actually made it my base before. And now, I’m circling the drain again…

I’m tempted to believe that it’s out of my hands, but even in my defeatist state, my mind won’t let that lie stand. A recurring theme of the past week is a Psychology lecture I heard somewhere years ago, something to do with Locus of Control – paraphrased it goes something like so long as you consider the control of things around you to be ‘outside’ yourself, you’ll have no hope of influencing them. I’m led to therefore believe that I have more than a say in where my life seems to be leading me.

Sure, I can be broke for days on end, but I won’t choose to steal because I have to eat – I will find a better way to survive because that power is in my hands today.

I know only too well how easy it would be to just let this wave of sadness and regret carry me away and wrongly order my steps, but I won’t take the easy path sweetie – you wouldn’t want me to. More and more I’m convinced that the sort of woman you’ll turn out to be won’t give me the luxury of excuses for bad behaviour, so just look at that – you’re already influencing me positively before I meet/met you (this past/future letter is really challenging my small blofo o! 😀 )

Yesterday I was really down and the ever present temptation to let go of some of my principles just so I could Feel Something again got a booster shot and began to pound even harder, incessantly on my barriers. It would have been so easy to ignore them once more as I did in the past and do my own thing dearie…but I won’t this time. I’ve been here before and gone that way before, and I remember where it led me, so I won’t walk down that path this time. Remember that Magic System song ‘Premier Gaou’? Je ne suis pas une triosieme gaou 😉

No matter how daunting loneliness looks like this time, I won’t  take the easy way out by lowering my standards just to fill this empty hole in me – it is My Hole and good or bad, I own it. I’ll choose to fill it with good friends, good books, hard satisfying work and good fun. I choose to take this moment of solitude as an Opportunity to upgrade myself once more because I’ve got to become that strong man who’ll be there for you and our family through anything that comes. I choose to look up to the sun this once instead of down to the ground.kill a man

As usual, I miss you already and I can’t wait to meet you – but I will. Ever wondered how come even now I know you’ll be just wonderful??  Because even now, when I haven’t even met you, just chatting across space and time with you has made my clouds disappear. You haven’t spoken a word and yet I already feel loads better.

I’m sorry if you feel pressured now – I know how worryingly high the pedestal I seem to have placed you on seems but please don’t stress yourself over it at all. Let me reassure you that I (will/already) love every single aspect of you, both your many gifts and shortfalls, because that’s the kind of guy I am growing up to be every day. I cannot, and will not, choose to spend the rest of my life with anyone who I am not absolutely convinced is the very best choice I could ever make – so how/why would I pass up any opportunity to let you know I’m totally enamoured with you?

I’m sorry my dear, but I’ve got to now. Self-improvement won’t happen by itself you know?

By the way: Here’s an I.O.U. for you, just to say thank you for this favour you’ve done Past Me today that you can redeem from Present Me: This weekend, no matter what our original plans are, I’m taking you out. Just tell me “Mister, I found the Second One o” and I’ll know you’re referring to this. I’ll probably be this workaholic by now, but I’ll drop it all for you today. They say ‘a Cynic is just a Disappointed Romantic’, but what they neglect to mention is that Disappointment doesn’t last forever…

Don’t forget to hug me when I get home today please – I’m going through a lot right now that’s, if nothing at all, going to ensure I never take the least show of affection for granted. I’ll appreciate it, believe me.

…Tele 😉

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40 Comments

  1. Ama said:

    No matter how daunting loneliness looks like this time, I won’t take the easy way out by lowering my standards just to fill this empty hole in me – it is My Hole and good or bad, I own it………….

    Thanks Tele…….really great piece……..

    January 21, 2017
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Glad you liked it. Embrace that Hole in your life and don’t just let anything whatsoever fill it just because you’re lonely 👍🏽

      January 23, 2017
      Reply
  2. Precious said:

    For me to read this today at this specific time is a wink from heaven! It is just the right piece at the right moment. It’s a true encouragement. It’s not only lovely, it’s real and accurate and current! A real invitation to accept one’s weakness and take control… Hmmmm
    God bless you Tele
    Ps: Your dear true wife is blessed

    January 7, 2016
    Reply
  3. Naa said:

    all smiles…interesting piece. big ups!

    December 22, 2014
    Reply
  4. Tele said:

    Nina, Nina, Nina…you always know what to say to make me 🙂
    Ps…thanks for making me research on Oil of Gladness 😉

    December 19, 2014
    Reply
  5. Nina said:

    So I’ve been thinking about a follow up to the first one u inspired me to do but kept putting it off, then I decide to go through the blog and voila, I see this one…..imagine an Italian saying magnifico…yah expressions and all, that’s my reaction plus a huge idiotic grin across my face ( screaming zygomaticus) thank you for this.
    PS….There’s an oil of gladness just for you.

    December 19, 2014
    Reply
  6. Izzy said:

    Tele Tele Tele…. Nuff said.
    hope we get a lot from both you guys the whole December!

    December 8, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Iz, Iz, Iz…pls say more 🙂
      You know we love to hear from you always.
      And we’ll not leave you hanging this month…or next month…or the next. 😀

      December 9, 2014
      Reply
  7. Priscy said:

    BenJ…i bless God for your life and for this site/blog. I do a lot of writing myself, have been doing it for as long as i can remember but i still haven’t mustered the courage to open up and let someone else read my soul…haha. Whenever i read a post u put up here i am challenged to come out a little more. I know poco a poco i will get there. God bless you and your entire team.

    December 7, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Priscy you have to open up oo. Open up small and let some of us too bless God for your life eh,lol. I promise to be an avid audience 🙂

      December 8, 2014
      Reply
  8. Priscy said:

    Aaaaoooooo Teleeee!!! Tele ooo Tele!! Hmmmm ‘nuf said. LOL

    December 7, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Hahahaha! Priscy, you make me smile with all the ‘fans’ 😀
      Now I don’t dare disappoint 😉

      December 7, 2014
      Reply
  9. Eli said:

    Am impressed by your words…glad i have friends with great minds and talent. Keep it up bro

    December 5, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thanks bruh 😀

      December 5, 2014
      Reply
  10. Elise said:

    wow……
    wow…………..
    I pray you continue to do this in real life when you actually do meet her,
    Really lovely!

    December 4, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Awww Elise, I see you’re really in the spirit! 🙂

      December 5, 2014
      Reply
  11. Maame Fosua said:

    A workaholic is a disappointed one true love…lol but thank God that disappointments don’t last forever. Hold on ya’ll just hold on.

    December 3, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      *holding on for dear life* 😀

      December 4, 2014
      Reply
  12. Miss. E said:

    Oh Ben, saa? Then in that case let’s pretend I didn’t write that post but this one instead;

    Tele open your eyes oooo

    December 3, 2014
    Reply
    • Miss. E said:

      Your website cut out most of my post again.

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
    • Tele said:

      @ Ms. E:

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
      • Miss E said:

        I’m guessing your message got cut off too?

        December 3, 2014
        Reply
        • Tele said:

          Exactly! Imma complain to Management! 😀

          December 3, 2014
          Reply
          • BenJ said:

            Lol, very funny. Tele, in fact, I have a message for you from Miss E!

            December 5, 2014
            Reply
  13. naomi said:

    Awww i m writing a letter to my future husband too,this is so touching…..it’s refreshing to know there are still good guys out there!!may we all find the ones we are meant to be with!!

    December 3, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Good for you Naomi (And I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you too) 😉

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
  14. Emily said:

    This is absolutely beautiful. Hmmm great idea, i should start doing letters for le future hubby 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 :-). Thank you Tele.
    Ben, adey watch you ooo :-*

    December 3, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      See deezzz hort babe oo. You dey watch where? watch your front sha! lol

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
    • Tele said:

      You’re welcome Em 🙂 And maybe you’ll let us see your own piece soon, eh?

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
  15. Eunice said:

    Mmmmmn…….I’m flattered lol

    December 3, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Aww Eunice… 🙂

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
  16. Miss. E said:

    I like Tele Tuesday! Sounds like Twirly Tuesday. I finally put up a post and a certain someone totally ignored it.

    December 2, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Yes o! #TeleTuesdays are here to stay 😀

      December 2, 2014
      Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Hahahaha, Miss E, wo rushi dodo. You dont know what I have in store for you. lol **watch that same space**

      December 3, 2014
      Reply
  17. Alwine said:

    Sometimes, am tempted to also write to my dear future husband as well but I write love notes on my ipad instead….lol. Thanks for sharing. The struggle is real and harder than I imagined but we’ll find them.
    Nice piece.
    Stay hopeful

    December 2, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Some temptations are meant to be succumbed to dearie 😉
      And as for that struggle…hmmm..

      December 2, 2014
      Reply
  18. Belinda said:

    Then please forward my message to Tele…….My letter?…It will start like this …..’My dearest cherie-coco, the day is hot and sunny as I write you this letter…..’ you can tell where this is going right?…Don’t laugh! I will peck you if you do! Regards, Kwansima…..

    December 2, 2014
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Wow Belinda! I am shy 🙂 I’m happy my piece hit just the right spot with you. Mission Accomplished 😀

      December 2, 2014
      Reply
  19. BenJ said:

    Lol, B, this’ actually not me o. Tele’s my buddy who’s a doctor by day and a wordsmith by ‘the rest of the day’. He’s promised to post more frequently now, so this right here is his handywork…regardless, I cant wait to read your letter! lol.

    December 2, 2014
    Reply
  20. Belinda said:

    Benjamin Anyan, if you are trying to kill us here, we won’t die okay?….LOL. We will just pray that we get some of these letters from our husbands in future and the past (the way you twist and turn them I don’t know)…..and we will also write some!
    God still bless you everyday!

    December 2, 2014
    Reply

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