My Sins In S.A.

From Sandton, South Africa is more beautiful than all those places newly weds in Ghana scavenge to take pictures at on Saturday afternoons. High rise buildings are being demolished at alarming rates. In their wake, more dignified ultramodern ones rise. My escort repeated countless times “Don’t confuse the opulence in Sandton for the standard; it’s not. Don’t form an opinion of an entire country from the extravagance of a single city.”

I was most impressed by the Michel Angelo. To call it breathtaking … I don’t knoooww, I don’t think you paused your busy day to read about buildings and bland tourist impressions you can find on Google maps, did you? Especially since I have juicier gists I’m itching to teeelll!!

Screen Shot 2014-10-23 at 3.56.23 PMEheeh, so I stayed at the Maslow. It’s the ultimate residency! You don’t stay at the Maslow and return to your boys’ quarters the same man. It ignites in you dreams and ambitions and gives you the taste of a life only grace can enable. If I described the room to you, I’d be doing you an injustice. It’d be as unfair as Megan Goode’s husband describing the intricate contours of her body to students of an all-boys boarding school. So rather, I’d just tell you about the bathroom.

The shower was, it was, it was an addiction. It was like standing under the nuzzles of a hundred pump action water pistols, all shooting tiny-powered stings of scintillating hot water, down your back. I had baths so long you’d think I was trying to make up for something. There was this one time, I only turned off the tap when I started smelling the aroma of boiling fresh meat. singing: ♬ Thiiiss boy is on fiaaaaaa, this boy is on fiaa-aa-a… ♪♫

IMAG0533 IMAG0534That wasn’t even the best part; the towels were! I am not kidding you, I’d never seen so many snow-white towels in one place for one person before! And they were changed every morning! Look, in my hay days, I never washed a towel till it became dirty enough to reverse what the bath had done. I never washed a towel (deep blue or dark brown) till I could actually see it was dirty. Till when I dried it in the sun, it became as stiff as Aladin’s carpet in flight. So yes, so many clean white towels for me in one place made me a bit…emotional. Sniff sniff.

My biggest temptations in South Africa were those towels. I’m not kidding! Leaving without even one in my suitcase was the hardest thing I had to do. Well nearly as hard as being true to myself around the hottie who took me clubbing on Friday night, but I’ll tell you that in a bit.

I came up with 18 solid reasons why it’d be okay to ‘misplace’ one of those towels in my suitcase. I wanted nothing more than one of them. You probably wont get it, but alone in a far away land, the pillars your integrity stand on become so shaky, even clean towels can tempt you.

I couldn’t pray or do devotions because the beds were made specifically to discourage that. You touched them and either snuggled or slept immediately. When the guilt got much, I’d pick the Bible from my bedside and snuggle with it. It was a different kind of devotion where the boy and his Bible devoted themselves to a bed.

IMAG0482Looking into that grand bathroom mirror, I realized that sometimes the aversion to selfies is merely dependent on how beautiful (or not) a person’s situation is. When you find yourself in a Maslow room, suddenly it seems like a waste of ambiance to not take a few shots. Then there were still those towels. The bed, the mirrors and all the pleasures Maslow threw couldn’t quell my desire to have one. Maybe I should have just asked, but it’ll have been yawa papa. It would have been an outright betrayal of the fact that I wasn’t paying for my stay myself. Aaaaahh, no way! Lol

The main reason I didn’t take a towel though, was a thought that came to mind; “If you cant say no to a towel in the Maslow, are you really ready to succeed? its seemingly innocuous and trivial, but that’s how bad habits begin. Just a towel. But how can I trust that you can say no to more tempting, more alluring thighs things at more beautiful places when I lift you?” I froze.

She was this nice ;-)
She was this nice 😉

It’s the little foxes people, the little foxes. They’re like the rats that nibble at your toes and simultaneously blow cool air on it whilst you sleep. Who’ll have thought that clean white towels would be such a big deal? Don’t judge o, yours could be even funnier.

As it turned out, there was something more tempting than white towels. I’m telling you about her in the very next post. If pictures do speak a thousand words, here’s an excerpt.

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe.

And let’s connect on twitter! @benanyan

[subscribe2]

21 Comments

  1. Naa Morkor said:

    Dude I don’t blame you South African chicks are hotttttttt…I don’t know how I ever got some that side lol

    August 10, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol. Thaaannkkkyyyoou Naa, #reliefsigh :-). You visited there?

      August 10, 2015
      Reply
  2. dede said:

    …..and i’m now seeing this post? Oh chaaley, I miss chaw oo.

    Btw, interesting read. Neva a dull moment.

    January 12, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Aaaaaannhhh that explains it Dede, was wondering how come you hadnt said some yet 🙂 Did you see the follow-up one?

      January 12, 2015
      Reply
  3. Esther said:

    Hahahahahhahahahhaa….”aversion to selfie being dependant on one’s situation”….LMFAO…

    November 3, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Na mi boa? LOL!!

      November 3, 2014
      Reply
  4. Ferdinand said:

    Soo..it starts with stoping de urge in doing those lil bad tins before it becomes bigger..thnx for de advice.

    October 28, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Anytime bro. Anytime 🙂

      October 28, 2014
      Reply
  5. Clara said:

    “There was this one time, I only turned off the tap when I started smelling the aroma of boiling fresh meat. singing: ♬ Thiiiss boy is on fiaaaaaa, this boy is on fiaa-aa-a… ♪♫”.
    I almost caught myself singing that out loud! LOL! Never a dull post Benjy. Definitely looking forward to the next!

    October 27, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Hahaha Gotcha Clara! Imagine if it had come out on loudspeaker. Lol. I can’t wait to see what you think of the next.

      October 28, 2014
      Reply
  6. mamle said:

    As usual specked my monday morning. Keep the writings coming you are good at it

    October 27, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      You think I specked yours? You have no idea what you did mine ☺

      October 28, 2014
      Reply
  7. Stacey said:

    as always u ve a way with words. beautiful piece.

    October 26, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thankyou Stacey. You’ve been so there over the years. Appreciate it.

      October 28, 2014
      Reply
  8. jemmy said:

    kikikikikikikiki…..Lol . Ben u killing. u got me daydreaming about the towels….. Lol

    October 24, 2014
    Reply
  9. Efua said:

    “…Till when I dried it in the sun, it became as stiff as Aladin’s carpet in flight…” LMHO!!! Oh Ben, you always make me laugh.

    October 24, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      True talk oo, m’anibrisem. lol, but I’m glad Efua. You should pay me for the entertainment.

      October 24, 2014
      Reply
  10. nife said:

    love it! love it! love it!

    October 24, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Love u! love u! love u!

      October 24, 2014
      Reply
  11. Bobby said:

    Lol! it all starts with the towels o! Well done hon’ but that picture mome di33, how many years ago?! Or you went and did the exercise without me???

    October 23, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      The way I had ‘ham’ eh, e not be now. But you fine gerh, even a tummy wont kill your market.

      October 23, 2014
      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *