‘Somtin’ Must Kill A Man!

I saw a meme last week I still haven’t recovered from. It was of a very hot, curvaceous woman who looked like she only ended up on earth because she got lost on her way to heaven. It was captioned; “If babe like dis gets Ebola, see my broda, in dis life, somtin must kill a man!”.

It reminded me of times in the past where I’d been in similar positions. Like that moment when I entered the kitchen and the lightsoup was just there cooling down on the stove and the sexiest chicken parts were just islanding and flaunting their tender deliciousness and I heard mum laughing on the phone outside, about to wrap up the conversation and I said to myself “See my broda, in this life, something must burn a man’s hands.” Or that time when I returned from town, thirstier than a humpless camel and there’s a chilled coke in the fridge I knew belonged to by brother. I started off with a gulp and diluted it a little, but the chilled fizzy sensation just worked me and I was like “See my broda, in this life, your brother must fight with you at least once.”

Or that time in Presec when I fell head-over-heels in love with that AGISS hottie, who had no idea she was my senior. She found out from some disloyal cooler kid who was my senior. She fell for him rather, but not before I wrote her some three-paged love letter (poem included) on some ugly paper I thought was cool at the time. She never replied. As I licked my wounds in recovery I was like “See my broda, in this life, you must have a story to tell your son some day.”

It’s funny and all but it reveals something very true; when we come face to face with our Achille’s heel, our kryptonite, our customized Jezebel, our Unique Sinful Proposition, we become capable of reasoning the utmost stupidity. I guess that’s why the Bible didn’t say “Show sin what you got” or “Reason it out with it”. Good Book says flee! Anytime we start reasoning along ‘See my broda…’ lines, then we’re on the fast lane to discovering why flee was used and not interact.

The more intelligent we are, the more bleak the situation is, because the intellect you impress everyone with is the same one that will impress stupidity on you. We shouldn’t trust ourselves around ourselves o. We shouldn’t be too eager to find out if really really Medusa’s gaze can turn us to stone (Ask Lot’s wife). We shouldn’t want to so desperately find out how the laasst stage of sobriety feels like before drunken stupor sets in. Who are you, eh? You alone, david legoyou think you can swim with meat in frying pan and not fry. Or you can watch porn aaah and not evolve your wondering into wandering. Oo camooonnn, staalpp it!

You think when Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife it was because she had eczema or stretch marks on her skin? Or he found out that the fairness of her face was in sharp contrast to the coffee complexion of her knuckles and stomach? Nooo! It was a desperate flight from a ‘My broda, let me tell you somtin” speech. You cant take just one shot; it’s drink deep or taste not. But it’s wisdom to not even consider tasting.

So fam, let me tell you somtin, in this post, something must tell you to never rely on your own strength and morality. Rely on God for grace and on your feet for speed, because when you stand there aaahh till that somtin is looking you in the eye, touching itself, licking itself and moaning like a Persian cat, I swear dzown, that tin will kill you sha!

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24 Comments

  1. Kjoe said:

    hahahahaha. great advice only few people are blessed to receive. Thanx man.

    June 16, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lol, ikr. charle strange where and how we learn some interesting lessons.

      June 22, 2015
      Reply
  2. Barbylove said:

    HEHEHEHE! SOMTIN MUST KILL MAN OOO! OR WE WONT GO TO HEAVEN ANAA? THIS PIECE IS THE ‘ISH’. You alone,you think you can swim with meat in frying pan and not fry? well done Ben. God bless You

    May 5, 2015
    Reply
  3. Esther said:

    Its been a while since I visited the website and I must confess I like how it looks and the new Logo or I’m imagining something different….lol.
    Loved this piece!!!

    November 3, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Missed you Esther. Your absence was so conspicuous. Don’t go away again o, aahh.

      November 3, 2014
      Reply
  4. Cathy said:

    U really are good. My new watsapp status “drink deep or taste not” if anyone asks, I’ll refer them to your page. me tu Ky3 ma wo.

    October 20, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Tell ’em Cathy, tell em! 🙂

      October 20, 2014
      Reply
  5. Izzy said:

    The more intelligent we are, the more bleak the situation is, because the intellect you impress everyone with is the same one that will impress stupidity on you.

    So very well said! Let’s not be ‘too smart’ for our own good.

    October 3, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yup yup. It’s funny how we’re all susceptible to that Izzy, wont you say?

      October 3, 2014
      Reply
  6. Nife said:

    thanks for pricking my conscience… i needed that 🙂
    remain blessed

    September 29, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Aaamen Nife, and thanks for writing; I love your feedback. Be even more blessed!

      September 30, 2014
      Reply
  7. Sanni_T said:

    Amazing piece,! Always above standard! Thanks for blessing us

    September 26, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thank you for writing Priscy :-)I love your feedbacks.

      September 30, 2014
      Reply
  8. Maame Fosua said:

    Yes I now have access with all my devices. I think it was a network problem. If you replied my mail I didn’t see it… so now you know that, I now know that, I didn’t know that I owe you a reply. Mi ni ak33 nka Lu? Sorry but ma Lu, ma Lu, ma Lu…very necessary if u are my shoes (flats not heels, I read Kwame P’s poem)

    September 26, 2014
    Reply
  9. BenJ said:

    Ooo, enye true, because I came on just to check and it’s working from my PC just fine.. And about the e-mail, it’s actually you who owe me a reply now you know? And you’re spot-on with the David comparison, kaaa lu! lol

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
  10. Maame Fosua said:

    Amazingly I can now access the blog with my phone but not with my Laptop or Tab it it is great. I hope I am not being punished for the long demanding email I sent. This reminds me of the difference between David & Joseph. Joseph fled, but David said man! What am I seeing? (Kw33 mi ni enaaa…).

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
  11. Matthew said:

    Now, this time I am not just liking it, but sharing with as many people as possible….Meeeennnn I loved dis

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yeeeeiii! New thresholds, e be so! This calls for a celebration.

      September 25, 2014
      Reply
  12. Emily said:

    Thank you for this reminder…..we tend to rationalize our foibles one time too man. On point as usual, chop kiss :-*

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      To be honest, i just had to check ‘foible’ out. So thank you :-), but I’m chopping all you’ve put on the menu 🙂

      September 25, 2014
      Reply
  13. Mimmie said:

    always on point

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      And you dont disappoint 🙂

      September 25, 2014
      Reply
  14. kwabena Darko said:

    Meeehhhnnn!!!! U r good. More grease to ur elbows

    September 25, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Turn that grease into grace and I’ll turn this smile into a grin! (Forgive the cheesiness, I fell for the temptation) But thanks for writing 🙂

      September 25, 2014
      Reply

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