How To Be A Naughty Christian.

When you read all these lovely posts and comment on how great and creative the writing is, you’re seeing just half the picture. Well, definitely more than half, but not the full picture. Sometimes I like to flirt. I don’t mean that in a sexual way at all. I mean there are a few times I mix wit with words and add a dash of ‘suggestive’ to make a few conversations more ummn…memorable. But I just play in the shallow waters o. Yes, once in a while I wonder if it’ll be more fun to wander a little farther, but my rope wont let me stray ayonder (desperate to rhyme).

Months ago, the funniest thing happened. I was driving home from work, chilling in my AC when at Haatso I spotted these two hot girls trying to get a car. Without my permission, my mind commanded my legs to hit the brakes and then made my fingers beckon the girls. Just like that!

When they were close to my door I realized what was blaring through my car’s stereo; a Ravi Zacharias sermon! “O snap” I thought “That wont do.” In a split second, I had to decide if I wanted to hit the knob to some Atlantis cools or Y FM funky. But if I did that it’d mean I was ashamed of Christ and I remembered what He said He’d do in heaven if we are ashamed of him on earth. That’s when my hand (on the stereo scan button) repented of the evil it was about to commit.

black coupleAs those endless stretch of beautiful legs (she was in jeans, but I could imagine) slid into the seat beside me, I whispered to God “You owe me one G. YOU OWE ME!”. Yes it’s silly, I know, but I still whispered it. Sue me. The prettier one sat beside me and her regular friend took her rightful place in the back. As I started to move hottie started to thank me on their behalf. God must have given Ravi a cue because suddenly the sermon picked up tempo and he started saying ‘Jesus JESUS!’ more emphatically every chance he got, even when ‘he’ would have sufficed.

As you can imagine, the natural line of conversation had to be “Praise God, are you two Christians? Do you attend a Bible-believing church?” And since I wasn’t ready to do that, we just sat there and endured the traffic. They were shocked! That must have been the first time they got a ride from a hot-blooded good looking man who didn’t say anything more than “Don’t mention.” So hottie took it upon herself to introduce herself and repeat her endless gratitude. Ravi kept preaching the word of God and I kept quiet.

When they were about to get down I could read the words in their eyes; “Surely there is no man in all of Accra like this one. He didn’t ask our numbers even though we hinted on it and wanted nothing at all. See how God-fearing he is. What-ah man!!” I drove off, and Ravi’s sermon ended minutes after. How about that!!

Moral

That day I realized something crucial. We all have weak spots. If you disagree you’re the saddest because it means you don’t even know where to reinforce security. But like I was saying, we all have naughty tendencies and so long as we don’t deprive ourselves of a rich relationship with God, those tendencies wont become regrettable mistakes. The way I see it, our walk with God is the never-empty cup of cold water that rouses us from the stupor of our weaknesses before we stray too far.

We all need a Ravi sermon of sorts playing in our life’s background at any point in time. Many times, we don’t willingly waltz away from sin, we are dragged out by the ‘Jesus status’ we keep on our Whatsapp and Facebook. We are restrained from vain conversations by the devotion we shared earlier with the same crowd. If we keep tying the noose of godliness around our necks any chance we get, the only thing we’re going to end up dying to is sin. And I’ve already bought a wreath for that thief of joy.

You see, I’m imperfect, so imperfect. And that’s why we connect so well; you and I :-p. But our imperfections aren’t good-enough excuses to do wrong. Let’s get so tangled up in positive confessions and giving Godly vibes that we feel like hypocrites when temptation creeps in. Say amen if you think that’s a good idea.

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27 Comments

  1. Naa said:

    On second thoughts, you shouldn’t be taking their numbers anyway if they were shocked / uncomfortable about the sermon and couldn’t strike a convo about you being a Christian, church, how “powerful”the sermon was etc. (do-not-be-unequally -yoked-with-unbelievers)

    April 21, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      True Naa, so true. But reason has a way of eluding us when our flesh starts throwing tantrums.Aloo?

      April 22, 2015
      Reply
  2. Naa said:

    AAaaMmmmEeeeeeNnnnnn!!!!!

    April 21, 2015
    Reply
  3. Eunice said:

    AMEN! Nice one there.

    November 9, 2014
    Reply
  4. nife said:

    a BIG FAT AMEN to that!!!!!

    October 30, 2014
    Reply
  5. Benedict said:

    Wow. reminds me of when I prayed for a short rope. N I wish those ladies wd see de article n understand de reason for the “what-ah man!!!”. Thank u bro.

    August 21, 2014
    Reply
  6. Belinda said:

    Right on! Creating SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERES really helps! God bless you man of God!

    August 15, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      God bless you too B! Will be good ‘seeing’ you around more often.

      August 18, 2014
      Reply
  7. Belinda said:

    Right on! Creating SPIRITUAL ATMOSPHERES really helps!

    August 15, 2014
    Reply
  8. ama said:

    I’m blessed. Will practice what I’ve heard

    August 15, 2014
    Reply
  9. Jade said:

    Amen! All we need is to declare our statuses. Keeps a great deal of evil away

    August 13, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yes, yesss!Couldnt agree more Jade.

      August 13, 2014
      Reply
  10. Ekuwa said:

    Nice nice. Inspired

    August 13, 2014
    Reply
  11. Bennet said:

    AMEN!!! ,
    You never cease inspiring me with your great write-ups.
    For me , once you “carry the cross” there’s no turning back.
    Bless you Bruva.

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Bless you too B. Your comments inspire me more than my posts could you. More of ’em!

      August 13, 2014
      Reply
  12. Bobby said:

    I think i heard this particular one before dear. Absolutely love the message, i’d rather put up a godly front that i’d be forced to try to maintain. Oh, BTW, did you say ‘shallow waters’? hmmmmm… 😛

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Se you dier, you’re like my diary oo 🙂 But I also love your phrasing of the take-out. Has the signature offshore touch to it. And yes ‘Fanice’ Bobby, shallow wasnt used wrongly.

      August 13, 2014
      Reply
  13. Adjoa Appiah said:

    Great write-up absolutely greater message! The last two paragraph’s pierced my insides chale!!!
    P.S You are a very funny guy!!!

    God bless you!

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Then it’s piercing both of us pepeepe! Glad you loved it. Really.
      P.S I try 🙂

      August 13, 2014
      Reply
  14. Juliette said:

    AMEN!!!

    Yes, once in a while I wonder if it’ll be more fun to wander a little farther, but my rope wont let me stray ayonder (desperate to rhyme).- I dey feel your rhyme yooorrr!!! 😉

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yoorr yorrr, you know how we dooosss! You rock Juliette!

      August 12, 2014
      Reply
  15. Phinehas Arthur said:

    You are such a Blessing to this generation.. Your articles are always so relevant and contemporary

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Absolutely humbled Phinny! I ought to frame this comment. God’s the never disappointing muse though.

      August 12, 2014
      Reply
  16. N-ya said:

    Beautiful, Ben! You hit a home run with the noose analogy. Just realised I once again omitted my quiet time from my schedule- going to find me some ropes now 🙂

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lol, yup. More of the ropes N-ya. That’s one entanglement you cant go wrong with 🙂

      August 12, 2014
      Reply
  17. Josh said:

    Bam!!!! hehe.
    Chale, e no easy koraa oh.
    One of my recent favorite songs is “No gray” by Jonathan McReynolds. Almost always in my ears even when I don’t have the ear buds stuck deep in my ears. Chorus just has a way of pulling the same effect on me:
    And if it’s God I’m after
    I can’t serve two masters
    And before something happens
    I got to turn it all around
    Because I know
    I can’t just have my cake and eat it too
    Cause it’s real easy to stay on the fence and still do you
    And it’d be cool if we could love the Lord and still go do our thing
    But see it doesn’t work like that
    I gotta to be white or black

    Great piece, man. Archiving now.

    August 12, 2014
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Bam!! I’m stealing that exclamation and checking out that song pronto. You know Casting Crowns have a similar one ‘Slow fade’. No room grey areas.

      August 12, 2014
      Reply

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