The guy who said the beautiful ones are not yet born didn’t consider that boutiques and beauty shops would be this sophisticated in the 21st century. Things are so bad that even the ones born beautiful cant stand the shop-acquired counterparts. I mean breasts can be tweaked and exaggerated with wonder bras, hips can be induced with chunks from a mattress, and how long did you say you wanted that eyelash again? Because they can let it brush your nose sef. You can scrape enough make-up off some ladies’ faces to start a play-clay company with.
Us guys, our hearts beat when we step into town these days. Our dilemma is, who’s really hot and who’s in a disguise? So the thing that happened when University of Ghana medical students started competing in beauty pageants is the same thing that’s happening with hot girls now; the course content of what it means to be hot has been revised and the bar lifted much higher.
It’s become a dangerous thing to boast on an angelic-looking beauty to your guy friends. You’ll hear shocking stories about who entered through where and how often she keeps coming back with new ideas. It happened to me last week, well not me me. I was leaving Kofi’s house when a drop dead gorgeous lady stopped over. Kofi is a recovering sexoholic, but the chic looked so sweet, so pure, that I wouldn’t even have been able to laugh to a naughty joke around her.
Imagine my naïve shock when Kofi later told me what she came to ‘collect’ before leaving to meet up with her son-of-a-rich-man fiancé for his birthday. But that’s nothing, what about that sweet innocent-looking girl some guy met on facebook and invited to his Christmas bash last year? She came with two equally gorgeous friends and stayed for two full weeks to the delight of the guy and his two housemates. Two weeks! And it wasn’t like they’d packed to sleepover too o.
It’s startling, it’s as if you could point any of the prettiest, exotic-looking ladies and you’d hear stories that shake the foundations of your faith. The effect of all these is that the smoothness and fairness of your skin, the curvature of your body, the length of your hair and the intensity of your cleavage aren’t so big a deal anymore. The guys who’ve done things with you and the ones they told, they know how adequate ‘supply’ is. So the sad thing is, in deciding who to settle with, they’re looking deeper, for something more rare; virtue.
Half of those guys know they’re a lost cause, so they’re looking for a woman who can anchor them. The correct half are also looking past skin-deep hotness because they understand the divine implications of Holy Matrimony and don’t want their faith challenged when they enter a room with their wives and half the boys snicker and do faces that scream “Ooooo, I tapped that”.
It’s not fair, I know. The same guys mess you up then go searching for purity, but that should make you wiser. There’s nothing you could open your legs up for now which will be greater than what will come to you if you stick to your virtue and principles. O trust me! It’s going to be hard, especially if you’re pretty but you can pull it off if you invest in your relationship with God. If you’re so lost in Him, they’re going to have to come to Him to find you. Pray such radical prayers like “Father, let the anointing on my life repel men with ulterior motives. Let your anointing cause them to choke and throw up when they come close to me”
Maybe if God answers, the only men who’ll be left in your life will be your father and brothers, but don’t sweat it. Don’t let the attention of men compose the definition of your worth, otherwise getting into your pants will be easier than getting heartburns during a Black Stars match. But that’s the definition of hot these days; women who’re cool, charming and still got their God game on.
Men know that their children will be raised more by their wives than by themselves. So when you let him do those things to you, in his sobriety, he’ll steer clear from you. Yes, be a freak in bed (when the time’s due) and a lady on the streets, but at all times and at all places be a woman lost in God. Stick to that plan and sue me if the best doesn’t end up happening with you.
So you see, if your hotness is only manifest in skimpy skirts and tops with necklines so low that your navel doubles as an accessory, then I beg, find a microwave. That hot just got cold.
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