I realized last week that I had become too hooked to whatsapp. That small speech bubble with a phone relaxing inside was quickly becoming my crack cocaine. I was beginning to decide how exciting my day was based on how sizzling my whatsapp chats were. I hated most that I was slowly cultivating shameful stalker traits. “Eeeh? So you’re not picking up and whatsapp says you’re online eh?”
It was beginning to feel too good; returning to my phone to see a dozen messages from several contacts. “Yeah yeh! I’m on people’s minds o. Go me!” The better it felt, the more unhealthy it became. So I scrolled through my entire list trying to figure out if it was really worth it. The people I chatted the most, were they really adding that much value to justify this uncomfortably growing addiction?
That’s when I realized this massive gaffe! The dearest person to me wasn’t there. The love of my life, the meaning to my existence, the substance to my being! But how can I claim intimacy and still be guilty of this? How could God not be on my whatsapp?!
I fixed it immediately. Gloria had lost her phone last year and stopped using that number completely, the last seen there was 4/6/2013. So I said – “How about that God? Are you available to chat?” I almost heard a thunderous roar in the skies above respond “LIKE SERIOUSLY?!”
Shaken, I re-saved her name as ‘Trinity’ and typed “Let’s do this!”. I couldn’t do much about the seizy DP though.
What’s The Point?
The way I see it, there’s no point buying a surround system if you’re going to have the volume below 10. There’s no point getting a porche if you’re going to be driving at bicycle speed and there’s certainly no point having an omnipotent God and using him like water in Adenta. I think if God is aaall he says he is, and can do aaall he says he can do and wants to show us aalll that love and favor he claims to have burning up on the inside of him, then the whole bunch of us are slacking and underutilizing him. I hate wastage!
I also know that the most important step to unlocking God’s flavor favor is by deepening your personal relationship with him. Now don’t call me a gold digger just yet; I can assure you that no matter the malicious or selfish intent that drives you to worship God, when He grabs a hold of you, alignment is immediate and automatic.
So I’m on an ‘operation let’s get serious’ with God now, and the way it works for me is to treat Him like a real person I enjoy hanging out with. Sometimes I lose it, cuss and say ‘Sh*t’ then it occurs to me he’s around. So I continue with “O m’awuradze I’m so sorry you had to hear that –I mean that I said that. Forgive wae” then I fist-pump the air then we’re cool like that. We talk like homies, roll like cats and just hang out. Like bats (cheezy Monday :-)) I pause wicked scenes in my favorite action movie and go like “G, did you see that?!”
So having God on my whatsapp seemed like a pretty cool idea. I don’t bother to check His last scene; He’s always on. No whining, no complaining, He just listens to it all. Then He powers up his WiFi and sends me some peace and grace. It gets pretty exciting, you gotto try it. It does a lot to your relationship; makes it feel very real. Plus you actually get to spend quality time. Before you realize, you’re doing that thing you thought would be an impossible chore; praying ceaselessly.
Just choose one of those defunct whatsapp contacts. Emphasis on defunct, because you know and I know we don’t want anyone else reading in on our confessions 😀 If you choose a number that’s only inactive till that area gossip returns to reclaim her thing, it’s unto you.
So choose a number a just say “Hi God!”
Take a screenshot, upload it on twitter or facebook and tag it with #igotGodonmywhatsapp with a link to this post (optional).
Imagine if Christians the world over picked on this and went on to get more personal with God via this easy, cool way!? Anyways, let’s see how it goes, shall we? In the meantime take God off the Sunday/mornings exclusive chat and hit him up on whatsapp. Keep me posted 😉
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