Guy 2 (laughing heartily) “Honestly man, I didn’t know you could go through such rubbish and still smell so good, anyways, allow me to steal the show and tell you how much an erection(s) actually cost.
You were all there when I got the Kenya Master’s Scholarship. 7 other Ghanaians got it too, 4 of whom were girls, 1 of whom was Sabina, the one because of whom the thought of sex doesn’t even turn me on anymore.
There was something about how my father warned me of how such trips could bring unforeseen children that I should have taken more seriously. Back then, I thought he was saying that because of the mistakes he made that gifted me with four step brothers from two women other than my mother. I repent from that thought; it must have been a revelation!
In Kenya, all 7 of us were in the same class with other students from all over Africa. Before then, I had never really spoken with Sabina, even during undergrad studies. But foreign lands, they have a way of making good friends out of distant acquaintances.
I’d never had sex before, and I thought I stood a good chance of being a virgin till marriage, but there’s something about being in a strange land without supervision and obligation that lures you to lower your standards without you noticing. That’s what happened to me.
I remember how back in Tech I used to express disgust at how Kobe- my roommate- could come and sleep with girls on the bunk bed I was perching him on, whilst boys boys were around, in the afternoon!! It turns out that I turned out to be like Kobe, only well, my roommate gave me more privacy than I could have asked for.
We rounded up study discussions in my bed every night. All I had to do was feel an erection and she’d be there to take care of my ‘needs’. One time we even recorded ourselves at it with her laptop. Sabina is from a very wealthy home, and the cash she was getting per week was what I was getting per semester, so when the girl gave me her cash to keep for her, it felt like a lucky lotto day. She served me breakfast in bed, lunch and supper at destinations of my choice. At a point I stopped to ponder how I’d come to lead the life of a Saudi Prince; I was screwing the girl, had her cash at my disposal and she was spoiling me with food!!
In all I spent like GHC 8000 of her money (enough to buy 2 return ticket to the States). At that time, the unspoken understanding was that we were living like Christians of old did; spending all we had together and freely (with hers being 80% of what we had of course).
She’d always been very close to her dad, so it wasn’t long before he wanted to talk with the new man in his daughter’s life. He liked me instantly, so did Sabina’s best friend in London, and her brother and everybody else close to her. But those days were numbered.
As life would have it, casual sex became stale, even a chore, and in a bit I felt like Sabina was disrespecting me. She even insulted me once in front of our friends. Not explicitly, but she might as well have, and you know how I just can’t take that.
I have no idea what got her to play the most terrible prank of all on me. She told me she’d gotten pregnant and was going to keep the baby. Ewurade!! Miaa, Kwame ahe? How was I going to deal with that? I was scattered mess with no ability to focus on anything than the untimely wahala of a baby. Eventually, I told her to keep it and decided to call Cape Coast and alert my father. I was just about doing that when she confessed that it was a joke. She was just testing me. Na which kind test be this?
Like waking up from a fairy tale of baked potatoes and roast pork to a harsh reality of hausa koko and kose, whatever there was between Sabina and I tasted sour, I just couldn’t stand her anymore. We were over, but apparently not done.
When we returned to Ghana, to finish up and submit our thesis, I fell truly and deeply in love with Nancy Selormey; my best friend’s sister. Whenever I looked at the purity in her eyes, I thanked God she couldn’t see the filth in mine. Sabina found out I was with someone else, she flipped! To say all hell broke loose will be an epic understatement. I had heard it said many times, but I fully got to witness the hell that hath no fury, like the wrath of a woman scorned”
She insisted that I pay her back every kobo of the money I spent off her. She even drew up an excel sheet and averaged how much each meal she gave me must have cost, then out of ‘compassion’ she halved the whoooole figure and I had to pay her GHC 4000. KWEEE, as if that wasn’t enough, she told her father everything (Including who had actually spent the money he’d been sending), and her best friend and the rest of her family. Her dad’s a lawyer and he phoned me. The worst part was when she reminded me of our recording on her laptop. It was the kind of scandal that brought down apostles. A mere brother like me didn’t stand a chance.
All the good times the past year had brought become memories of expensive mistakes. There was no way I could pay her that much in 2 months!! But I also knew I’d treated her unfairly in some way and deserved this hardship. I think when you drop into the kind of promiscuity I dropped into, it’s not just your chastity you lose, you lose your gentility, your sensibility and even your identity.
I know I screwed up, but the cold heartless blood-thirsty stranger Sabina had morphed into still has me flaccid till date. I borrowed money as if I was raising funds to treat a terminal sickness. I couldn’t tell anyone what I was really going through, so I had to lie to everyone I borrowed money from. How could I tell them that I Emmanuel, had turned into some junior nympho in Kenya, I’d rather die!
I constantly live with the fear that Nancy might find out and leave me. I don’t even let my mind venture at what her brother and my church folks will react if they find out. Unlike guy 1, I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell her, and Sabina’s always using that against me. “I just watched the video again” She’d send in a random text “I think it has viral potential o”. Texts like that have bleaching powers, see how fair I’ve become. Her dad too, hmm. The man has made so many threats that every time someone mentions a name that remotely sounds like his I reflexively start saying pleading. Those orgasms were definitely not worth it, not even one tear of Nancy’s, and I know my Nancy, she’d cry a tank if she found out. Talk about the price of an erection!!”
When I heard this, I knew I had to tell you. Now I’ve told you, and now that I’m done telling you, I want to ask you; was your own sexual experience worth it? Looking back, was it worth it? Or do you wonder if your story is yet to come? Must you go through the kind of hell guy 1& 2 went through to decide whether or not it’s not worth it?
Maybe you should just zip it, how about that? Just zip it! Not so that you avoid getting Syphilis or Gonorrhea, but so that you save the person you’ll finally love and end up with the horrifying details. So that those who look up to you will continue to have someone to look up to. So that you aren’t prime target on the blackmailable list. So in actual fact, zip it out of self-interest, because at the end of the day, 5 blissful seconds (or 10 if you’re that good) aren’t worth a lifetime of regrets, what-ifs and all the chain reactions that come with them.
So tell me, in your opinion what’s the price of an erection? Is it really worth it? Bear in mind though, that there is no such thing as a quickie, because even the quickest sexual experiences have eternal consequences.
PS: this is as much for guys as it is for girls, what you lack in erections, you make up for in wet ways *wink*
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