THE PRICE OF AN ERECTION. PART I- Rated 28

priceQuote: An erected penis hath no conscience.

Anonymous

Recently I’ve been wondering, but I haven’t had to wonder much, because I know a couple of people who know a couple of people who have actually paid the price of an erection, or are almost done with it, so we’ll look at it through their eyes, and see if it’s a price any of us should contemplate paying.

My friend was hanging out with two close guy friends of his, and in the course of their conversation the issue of weaknesses came up. Bear in mind that all three are staunch, favored anointed men, not a bunch of secular miscreants. You might be tempted to judge, but please don’t make that mistake, just read and remember that infamous Akan proverb; “If you see your neighbor’s beard on fire, keep a bucket of water around yours at all times”

Guy 1 says “Charley, as for me, my weakness is lust o, after all I’ve been through and all it’s cost me, I find that if it’s only by grace that I stand and hope.” #imagine the whirring of a cassette as I rewind to the part when he talked about what it cost him.

“I was home when this spiritual daughter of mine said she was gonna pass by sometime in the day. I wasn’t having any foul thoughts in my head at all. This girl had heard me preach several times, so I couldn’t even have thought of anything sexual. I should have known better when she got to my house at around 8pm and asked if she could spend the night at my end. She said it was too late for her to travel back home (which was far off).

How the conversation changed from what the Lord was doing in our lives to who was a better kisser still baffles me. Of course, she had her request granted and got to spend the night in my room, and we had what we might have thought we were too spiritual to have; orgasms. If that was the last page in the book of me and her, then the only price I’ll have paid for my erection was the embarrassing emotion I would have felt seeing her in my congregation, or the subtle fear that she might tell my beloved, whom I haven’t even gotten to base 2(anything beyond a passionate kiss) with.

But NO!!  I hadn’t even started paying yet. Four weeks later (4 weeks o), she calls and says “I missed it this month”. I thought she was kidding, I hoped she was, I PRAYED she was, but alas, she insisted it was the truth. I didn’t have a say; it was her body, and she’d decided to have an abortion. Nothing I said could stop her.

Apparently, there are places in Accra where abortions are carried out, no questions asked and frequented by many university girls. So when she called and said it would cost GHC 500, I was blown away. Where was I gonna get that kind of money?? Even an overdraft from my bank won’t cover the half of it. She was so cold, so different from the girl I’d shared my bed with. I had to literally conjure GHC 500 in 24 hours!! It gets worse.

Everyone in my workplace calls me ‘Man of God’, and even my boss accords me priestly reverence. So when chick alerted me that she was minutes away, I felt a warm trickle down my trouser. True true, 15 minutes exactly, she showed up with two older siblings. I quickly collected them to the car park, and handed the cash to her like it was burning my palms. She handed me a receipt as some kind of prove that some Dr. Opoku from some hospital in Accra had executed it. Honestly, at that point, I couldn’t care less if it was a receipt, a prescription or a call card, I couldn’t have her gone fast enough. What if my boss stepped out and wanted to meet my ‘nice’ friends?! Truth is, I don’t even know for sure if there actually was a pregnancy or if it was a ploy to milk me from all angles.

I’d never been more flaccid as I was watching her walk away. Her thuggish siblings looked at me with such scorn and disgust. I was a torn man, my crisp shirt and tie were a false reflection of the man within, but the worst was yet to come.

My beloved noticed something was wrong, I couldn’t look her in the eyes, I couldn’t even reply “I love you too” when she said it to me. She was such a good woman, and I had such a loud conscience. When she sat on the same bed I’d ‘known’ the other woman on some weeks back, I cracked and told everything. She had to know, I was dying within. I’d never seen Naana so broken, ever. The only thing she managed to ask me amidst the tears was “Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her when you were sleeping with her?” “Yes.” Apparently kissing a mistress is even worse than sleeping with her. Naana wanted out. EBEI!!! how could I live without the one girl I’d envisaged marrying for all these years??!!

She wasn’t kidding. Over the following weeks she grew soo thin, and it was my own damn fault!! Every time I saw her collar bone sticking out, I knew I was to blame, and that just ripped me apart. One of those nights, I broke down in the shower and cried like a baby, then I looked down and started talking to ‘him’ as if he’d unzipped himself and made the grand entry, I asked him “Se you are happy?”  Oh, and I haven’t even talked about the spiritual damage it did to me, and how difficult praying became.

The efforts that went into getting Naana back could have won a national election for an unknown independent candidate. A week after I finally got her back, I got a call from the abortion mistress saying she’d missed me and wanted to know if she could come and change her clothes at my house for a wedding she had to attend in my area. I politely said no with a cute explanation, but in my head, I kept going “KWASSIAA, GYIMMII, YOU ARE A FOOL TO ME!!!! Enemy of purity and true love.” Later that night whilst I prayed, I asked God to forgive me for such foul language.

I haven’t even finished paying the price for that first erection, and here she is asking for another. God knows that till we die, for as long as Naana refers to that expensive fling, I’ll be at her beck and call. I’m blackmailed for life, and deservingly so!”

Ben here; Honeslty, this story is a true story, I’ve only edited names and twisted facts to conceal the identity of the parties involved, I’ll continue with Guy 2’s story next week and conclude the post. I can assure you that guy 2’s story makes this one look like a fairytale, be sure to check it out. Let me know your thoughts on this one though, both guys will be reading.

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25 Comments

  1. kofi said:

    Hmmmm really touching. I’ve experierience some just recently. My fellow christians, pls never make a mistake by allowing a christian sister spent a night in ur room. If not by the time you realise, u will be plucking apple in the secrete garden

    August 22, 2016
    Reply
  2. Obenewa said:

    God knows that till we die, for as long as Naa refers to that expensive flinge, I’ll be at her beck and call. I’am blackmailed for life
    Hahahahahah

    March 16, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      No, e no be joke o. Someone’s serious wahala. lol

      March 17, 2016
      Reply
  3. EkechiA said:

    But why do men do such foolish things and then spend the rest of their lives regretting it?!! Biko lock up, both till and after you marry!! All these “Christian” men paa, there are too many sinners in the church, that’s why I don’t bother with “church” toasters.

    July 5, 2015
    Reply
    • guile said:

      The church is a hospital for sick people not a gathering of ‘whole’ people. Do you not go to church? Don’t you do bad things all the time? Don’t judge a brother.

      August 22, 2016
      Reply
  4. Doris said:

    Sounds real indeed. I wish all dose HS braders who fink it s far frm dem will read n take care. He s so blessed he had a 2nd chance atleast. Bt ur skill in writing s so jerrrr. Kip it up

    February 23, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lol, you literally had me ROTFL with ‘jeerrr’. That term is a senior classic! And yes, no one is beyond reproach o, just grace.

      February 25, 2015
      Reply
  5. rammy said:

    hahahaaahahaahahaahahaaaa…ns3m piii……ma fav line;..wen d gal cald d second tym…if onli she cld read his mind..lol….may d Lord ve mercy on us all…n giv us d strength to resist.

    February 8, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lol, ikr! broda was aaalll over the place. lol

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  6. Majorie Quansah said:

    Ben!!; you are a fabolous writer!!; keep it up

    January 22, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Awww this my regiment comrade, lol. Means a lot to me that you said that. God bless you dear.

      January 22, 2015
      Reply
  7. kaboom said:

    some are just out to get ya, aren’t they???
    at least he had Naa and unfortunately fell…..all the bible studies I’ve had and all the church organizations I’ve been actively involved in, couldnt have warned me enough of the massive weaknesses ‘hormones’ can bring your way. especially when u have waited 20 odd years to have legitimate blahblah and u still don’t even have a committed boyfriend….
    do I have to think for long about the price of my ‘wetness’ before jumping in when my hormones won’t even lemme think straight???

    December 16, 2013
    Reply
  8. kaboom said:

    some are just out to get ya, aren’t they???
    at least he had Naa and unfortunately fell…..all the bible studies I’ve had and all the church organizations I’ve been actively involved in, couldnt have warned me enough of the massive weaknesses ‘hormones’ can bring your way. especially when u have waited 20 odd years to have legitimate blahblah and u still don’t even have a committed boyfriend….

    December 16, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Some definitely are! And you are right, because it’s only grace that can save you when hormones roar, it seems like a very risky thing to judge, so i refrain. Because you are right, the warning cant be strong enough.

      December 16, 2013
      Reply
  9. Yoky said:

    couldn’t stop laughing and stop saying ,”eeei!!!”
    thanks for sharing!

    December 10, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      My pleasure Yoky. You know how we do 🙂

      December 16, 2013
      Reply
  10. Bryden Nii Macronie said:

    Interesting times ahead…great piece tho!

    December 10, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      How interesting Bryden? Thanks for passing through though.

      December 10, 2013
      Reply
  11. Naa said:

    Hahahahaha! I can’t stop laughing as I read this piece again . The moral of the story is not lost though. (You’ve put it up before, I think, or its another story with a similar title?).

    December 10, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yup yup. Naa, you just passed the ‘Old timers litmus test’. It’s not just you too, it still gets me smiling.

      December 10, 2013
      Reply
  12. Ebenezer said:

    Eei, just one fling of a thing…and devastating results…?
    Men….oooopppsss…”Men of God” must be VERY VERY CARELFUL….

    An erected penis hath no conscience…indeed….!!

    Hmmmnn…

    December 10, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      It’s amazing isn’t it. One fling, countless consequences! But ah well…c’est la vie.

      December 10, 2013
      Reply
  13. Efua Idan Osam said:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahhahaah. I love this piece.
    Favourite line: “The efforts that went into getting Naana back could have won a national election for an unknown independent candidate.”

    December 10, 2013
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Another like we share Efua:-)

      December 10, 2013
      Reply
  14. Ebenezer said:

    Eei, just one fling of a thing…and devastating results…?
    Men….oooopppsss…”Men of God” must be VERY VERY CARELFUL….

    An erected penis hath no conscience…indeed….!!

    Hmmmnn…

    December 10, 2013
    Reply

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