Bad Fineboy Confessions

I know how an orgy goes like. I can vividly describe to you the journey from sobriety to weed-induced highness. I know more about quickies than the originator of the latin root word. I know about infidelity and the nuances of having multiple side-chicks. I know about booze and making punches that knock you out. I know the right words to say to move from brother zone to ‘use me how you please’ zone in one week. I know all these things because I know how to pay rapt attention when it’s story time.

I have my fair share of pious shpiritos sanctus friends, but I prefer those who’ve also been around (NB: Don’t try this at home. It may backfire for you) . I know boys who’ve done things! I know girls who tell me stories they cant ever tell their husbands. Stories so graphic ‘mills & boons’ would pass for a Bible story. So I thought a lot about how come all these people keep confiding in me with all these scandals. Why me? And then I unraveled it. The main ingredient is; Stay calm. Act amused, never surprised. It makes them comfortable talking. I wont tell you the other ingredients because I’m not sure how you’ll use the skill. In fact, I’m writing this minutes after a one hour session of real real stories that brought me super close to losing my signature calmness. Whaaatttt, if I tell you details, I risk turning this from edifying to arousing…but what the heck?

He wasn’t talking like he was bragging, he was just recounting memories in much the same way I’d recount that last time I bought the Dzorwulu waakye only to get home to realise that Aisha hadn’t added the egg I’d actually paid for. It’s a memory, not a credential. So dude spoke a lot. When people reveal scandalous things to you, they’re indirectly reposing trust in you. It’s your duty to sustain their integrity with confidentiality. But all those fancy words mean nothing to me, I’ll tell you all. lol, i kid. 

Whilst he spoke and after he left, I wondered if I’d missed out on life. These are all experiences I can never share as mine. No kinky sex, no weed highness, no…no… no nothing. Wouldn’t all those ‘living on the edge’ experiences have made life more…memorable? Aren’t those pleasures worth tasting? Am I and have I made the best use of my virility? Wouldn’t it have been better to live the life and eventually wind down in servitude to righteousness? Oh goodness, should I envy the guy? All the races he’s sampled and run? (<<—Smile if you got the hidden meaning) Wasn’t he better off? Was he?

I mentally put all his orgasms with all those exotic girls and all his wild adventures on one hand and his countenance as he spoke on another. There was no sense of pride, peace or fulfilment. But you know how regretful people will tell you not to be like them and in your head you’re like “Dude, let me make my mistakes! Someone will need me to be advising him like you’re doing now and I don’t want to give hear-say based advises. Let me also sample the zoozi and discover for myself why it’s not worth it.”? So my own mind suggested that thought and then my own mind answered itself.

It said “Ben, the Price you pay to fulfil those fantasies is too high. It’s a complex mysterious kind of Pricing that’s dangerous because of its ability to camouflage itself in Pleasure. It can also camouflage itself in ‘common sense’, so you come out of having made her cum thrice feeling all kinds of Pleasure and accomplishment and not bothering if she breaks up with you or ends up with another guy because afterall, ‘you jie your own for inside’, and when you don’t get to screw her before you lose her, you feel so silly for missing that ‘opportunity’. See the ‘wisdom’ in the logic? For those with a somewhat functioning conscience, Price reasons with you and justifies the pleasure it’s offering. It presents it as…Opportunity. That ability (of Pleasure’s Price) makes it almost impossible to calculate actual cost so that what can even bankrupt you feels as sweet as a Black Friday deal at hello.

You know what makes it even more dangerous? It doesn’t just charge, it infects you with something more addictive than Nicotine. It liaises with the dopamine in your mind and holds your pleasure hostage, releasing bits of it only when you do its bidding. So no matter how empty or regretful you feel after, it doesn’t care! If you want to ‘feel good’, you know what to do. The more you do, the more of it you need to do to cope with life. And it has no promotions like ‘buy 1 get one free’, the more you need the Pleasure, the higher and more ruthless the Price becomes. Because you see Ben, it’s the chains you cant see that bind you tightest.”

KPAAAAA!! It was like a slap of actual common sense from the coarse leathery hand of a career mason. Fam, if your pleasure assessment mechanism is screwed up, you are screwed up. You’ll be the fool with the arrogance of a genius.

The peace that God gives is the sweetest thing in this world. When you rigorously keep your body in the consciousness that it’s His temple, he freely uses your body as his permanent residential address when filling official forms. He honours you and fellowships with you in a way that’s so much more fulfilling and filling. I’m not just talking about sex and drug related proclivities; anger, bitterness, cussing, envy, hatred, deception and the like are all 1st cousins with equally depraving abilities.

I pray that no matter how alluring the ‘Bad Fine Boy’ or ‘Lawless Slay Queen’ life is, no matter how much it tempts, may God reveal the full measure of the asking Price to you and give you grace to do right by Him. Amen.

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-)?

32 Comments

  1. Darwin said:

    Thanks Ben for this write up. Sometimes like you said, when you hear such testimonies from people who have done things, it feels like you’ve missed out on something and the temptation is there to try it. But if we focus on God and not on ourselves, we’ll come to see that it’s the other way round,those guys or people have rather missed out on something, that’s God presence and benefits of His fellowship.

    February 8, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yeesshhh Darwin, exactly like that!

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  2. Kay said:

    Beautifully written. Couldn’t stop reading till I was done …….

    February 6, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Excellent feedback Kay. Thanks for reading 🙂

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  3. Alf said:

    Accurate – written with the grace and power to provoke thought and action. Thanks for sharing Bro. .

    February 5, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Ooooooo myyyyyy gooooodddnnneess! You commented! HISTORIC!

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  4. Sonia said:

    Hmmm…. Thanks Ben. I once thought that I needed to live life on the edge so I could have great testimonies of God’s grace but just like this article, the Holy Spirit taught me otherwise.
    I’ve been coming here regularly and I still don’t know why I haven’t subscribed till now 🙈 I repent 😇

    February 5, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      HERH! Sonia, Sonia, Sooonniaa! how many times did I call your name? For your own safety I hope you’ve subscribed. yoo. Glad you wrote tho 🙂

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  5. jaey said:

    bless up benJ

    February 5, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      And you too Jaey.

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  6. Mawuli said:

    Great write up!! My mind was catapulted to an encounter I had with about 4 young men who nearly poured sand in the ‘Gari’ I was offering them? They mentioned names of current movers and shakers of the faith in Ghana and how their past is past and they are now new and how they talked about their past which they think was a pleasant past… What am I saying kuraaaa? They said Oh taste and see hmmmm and you will have a better testimony ….Check out dry testimony, I became at 5 years and have been serving since ….. Where is the turning point? The big break, I ONCE WAS LOST (Really LOST) and NOW I AM FOUND! I HAVE BEEN TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP AND GRACE BROUGHT ME!! I HAVE CLIMBED ….
    Some of You don’t know what grace is because you have not experienced the DEPTHS OF DEATH…. Hmmm Chale!! The examples were countless from these guys as if they have followed the ministers on that ladder!! How the crowds shout and ‘EEEIED’ sounded like ‘funs’ ‘fans’ that blew cold air on the hotness of the hell in which they were in. Quickly, I needed to find examples of those who had walked the road for long! Those who started digging the ground and sowed seeds whiles they were young. The testimony of Paul was gave me an uppercut, I have lost that fight of convincing them that Remember the Lord in the days of your youth (NOTE YOUTH, NOT YOUTHFUL MINDS –ABI YOU GET IT). In some jurisdictions when call for youth meeting …..Oh my God …..You will see youthful minded people meeting NOT youth meeting …repeating this again! Then I remembered the one born of a woman who at the tender age started serving and going about His Father’s business! His life at that tender age and how it should challenge how we live as youth. Come see chale I weaken them…lololol!
    Crash landing
    Watch the way you share your journey before MERCY and GRACE found you!!
    I HAVE LANDED …LOLO

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
  7. Modupe said:

    Truth gracefully written. Thank you

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thank you M!

      February 5, 2018
      Reply
  8. Senaya said:

    Hmmm,
    Hmmm
    Hmmmam speechless

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, you said 4 words Seneya; speechfully speechless.

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  9. *speechless* (cos anything I might say might just ruin the moment)

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      So now that you’ve said speechless, how can I respond? Oooo Tosin dierrr. btw, how far with my share of oil money? 🙂

      February 4, 2018
      Reply
  10. Kennedy said:

    Amen ooo

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
  11. Leslie said:

    “….he freely uses your body as his permanent residential address when filling official forms.” Ben dat!! So much truth in this piece.

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yo Lessss! Back in town?

      February 4, 2018
      Reply
      • Leslie said:

        No sir, still eating rice with these Asia boys and gerrs hehehehe

        February 13, 2018
        Reply
  12. Faustina said:

    This is really good

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thanks Faustina, Oluwa is involved.

      February 4, 2018
      Reply
  13. GeneralExcellenceKay said:

    Amen.. bless you bro

    February 4, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Bless you more General!

      February 12, 2018
      Reply
  14. Akosua said:

    Hmmmm speechless. So true

    February 3, 2018
    Reply
  15. Emmanuel said:

    WORD!

    February 3, 2018
    Reply
  16. EPHRAIM said:

    Awesome

    February 3, 2018
    Reply
  17. Korantemaa said:

    Mills and Boons passing for Bible stories paa … lol.

    February 3, 2018
    Reply
  18. Precious said:

    Amen

    February 3, 2018
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      And a resounding one at that P.

      February 3, 2018
      Reply

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