How Kelewele Ended A Marriage

I’ve heard that marriages have broken over toothpaste; husband squeezes from the middle, wife from the bottom, wahala, over. Cutlery recently ended another marriage. Hubby was put off when wife didn’t bring food with cutlery, wife couldn’t believe hubby couldn’t appreciate the effort she’d put into making food and rather focused on cutlery he could get himself also, wahala, over.

Toilet seats, too much salt, milk finishing too quickly have all ended marriages, but the chart topper is kelewele. Kelewele my bredas, kelewele ended a marriage in 2016. Hubby picks up wife after work. En route home, hubby stops by his favourite kelewele joint. He buys GHC 7 with GHC 2 groundnut. She’s not so hungry so doesn’t want one for herself, but he knew she’d pick at his, hence the GHC 7 instead of his standard GHC 5.

Home was around Spintex and traffic was some way bi, so she held on to the kelewele and put some in his mouth every now and then. It was a good drive, good talk good kelewele…until there was no kelewele anymore. But it couldn’t be, he was counting, he’d had too little, it couldn’t be finished already! She’d apparently mouthed more than she gave him. He was fuming, she asked why he was so aggressive about food. It turned into something else, wahala, over.

It sounds like a joke till you’re in the heat of it, then suddenly all senses fly out of the window. I find that the ability to put things in perspective is one of the most special virtues to possess. Very often, you should be able to step outside yourself, say ‘hooll it!” then ask yourself whether what you’re going on and on about is really worth it. I’ll tell you a personal story.

There’s a drink in Abidjan called ‘Youki’, I love it! It’s  like Muscatella meets coffee in a sensual way. Whenever I visit, I bring a pack. But I haven’t been to Abidjan in a while, so I’d really missed it! A friend went over and brought me one 500ml bottle. JUST ONE. I was so emotional. This was nothing to waste on regular weekday thirst. My plan was to save it for Sunday after church.

I took it home. I didn’t put it in the fridge, cabinet or anywhere it’ll be confused for ‘family food’. I hid it in my wardrobe, under some clothes. UNDER MY CLOTHES!! I came home from work, decided to check on it and it’s gone. GONE! The Mrs. was on the bed, smiling in my direction.

“What?” she asked

“My Youki!” My voice was shaky “It’s…it’s not here anymore.”

“Oh the drink that was there? I had it o. It was nice papa. What’s it called?”

My heart started pounding like the beat in a Tekno track. She didn’t even dignify it with a name!

“But B! it was MY drink, MINE.”

“Ah, but isn’t what’s yours mine?”

“Not if it’s hiding under my clothes!”

“Isnt it a coffee drink? I’ll make some for you.”

“Honey, it’s not Gari Soakings!”

“What are you trying to say?”

I breathed in so deep, my lungs sunk into my feet. My eyes were teary. There wasn’t any in Ghana! I stormed off. Never before had it been so difficult to put things into perspective ‘It’s a drink in a bottle. She’s your wife. Ben. breathe in, breathe out.’ It was hard to let it go, but to hold on to what matters most, there must be a lot we are willing to let go.

Our minds can be our best friends and our greatest enemies. They can feed us with a dozen memories to justify any stupidity we can conjure. We need to train ourselves to control it, even force it to feed us perspectives that salvage a situation, not savagely destroy it. You feel me?

Left unchecked, your mind will lead you places where only regret and cuss words will tuck you to bed. It’s not just about marriage, it’s true even in driving. Is the arrogant taxi driver worth it? In the grand scheme of who you are and the greatness ahead, is that annoying colleague worth your outburst?

My friend’s ex finally called to explain why she left two years ago “When we started dating, you hurt me with things you said. I could tell you didn’t really love me then. I didn’t let it go well enough, so when I saw that in our third year, you were really really loving me, I felt like I had to pay you back.”

Writer’s note: Naaannnsssssiiins!

She felt so silly telling him this because she’d discovered in dating other guys that he was the bestest best. He’d married happily and it could have been her.

Let’s ask God for the grace to put things into perspective before in the ‘effort to save our dignity’, we lose that which made us whole, happy or better. It’s never as big a deal as it seems. Would it still matter so much 5 years from today? Swallow the ego, pride, anger, childishness and let it go. Can you do that?

PS: I’m off to Abidjan in a couple of weeks and guess what i’m going to use all my 23kg luggage space for?

PSS: Sorry it’s been a while, I missed you roff!

PSSS (last 1): Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-)?

61 Comments

  1. Darwin said:

    Love your writings. I’ll be going through your other posts, though I’m new here. Keep up the good work.

    July 1, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Awesome! I cant wait to see what you think of them 🙂

      July 3, 2017
      Reply
  2. Nana Kwame said:

    Hahaha 3y3 asem oooo
    Our good God grant us His great patience so we laugh and smile through it all and avoid any regretful actions

    June 24, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, yes. We need grace aaaah else we’ll be screaming over things we should be laughing about.

      July 1, 2017
      Reply
  3. Yaa Korea said:

    The little things that makes us go go wild, same as the little ones that makes you smile all day.. like your partner (MAN) gives you a 1 cedi note and a kiss on the forehead when you tell him, “Honey i’m broke’

    June 14, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, ikr! sometimes it’s so annoying it’s funny.

      June 22, 2017
      Reply
  4. Aure said:

    It is well
    When u r coming back from Abidjan bring me some wai pls
    Dear lord Jesus pls help me ,that in the mist of situation, l don’t turn into something else,
    Amen

    June 12, 2017
    Reply
    • Yaa Korea said:

      Can we have a like and dislike options too please!!

      June 14, 2017
      Reply
      • Yaa Korea said:

        Buttons… if i am correct

        June 14, 2017
        Reply
      • BenJ said:

        Hmmm, will try and see ok?

        June 22, 2017
        Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Aaaammmmeennn! And father as you do it for her, please do it for me too 🙁

      June 22, 2017
      Reply
  5. Ama said:

    Great lesson indeed

    June 12, 2017
    Reply
  6. Adoley said:

    Not married yet but learnt a lot already…totally hilarious. God b our help

    June 12, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Super! It’s always good to know in advance.

      June 22, 2017
      Reply
  7. Emma said:

    Someone in a whatsapp group I barely participate in posted a link to this story and I decided to take a peek coz the title baffled me…kelewele destroying someone’s marriage paaaa, lol…anyways, two minutes later and I had this sudden strange shrinking feeling in my chest, like when you’re so sure no one was watching and so dipped your hand in the stew pot only to see two eyes peering at you from behind the curtain, “der norrr you know say o boy mess up.” You might not completely understand how inspired I am right now not just because I read this but because I’ve spent the last 30 minutes on my bed, reading post after post after post and I am….*mind blown*. Thank you for using your gifts and embracing who you are as a christian. You’ve glorified God in my eyes by the words you typed and I want to say may He truly truly bless you. I look forward to even more interesting and inspiring(can’t stress the humor bit enough) content from you. All the best Benj

    June 12, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      You comment right here Emma, is why I do this. Thank you for the kind words, it makes a bigger impact than you can imagine.

      June 22, 2017
      Reply
  8. Maame said:

    Blessed with this piece.

    June 11, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Makes two of us Maame 😉

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  9. Glomens said:

    I loved your message. I am still learning. I pray for a heart like that.

    June 11, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Me too, it’s never a walk in the park. But God dey, so we have hope.

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  10. Sweetie said:

    Very interesting and educative. It’s good to learn from another person’s experience. Thanks for sharing.

    June 11, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thank you too for reading Sweetie. Is that what he calls you? (mischievous grin on my face)

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  11. Ruby said:

    Lovely piece!

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lovely of you to write!

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  12. Nana Amoah said:

    OMG, that moment when someone takes the best part of a meal you saved for the end.

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Eeeexxaacccttly! That moment sucks!

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  13. La Reine said:

    Always the little things. 😣😣

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      They tend to do the most damage :-(. God help us all.

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  14. Ma'am said:

    Not if it’s hiding under my clothes ampa

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Can you imagine! hmm

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  15. Naa Kome said:

    😂😂😂😂

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
  16. Femi said:

    First time reading your blog…. I feel you rough!

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • Ma'am said:

      Read more.. Great content

      June 10, 2017
      Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yaaayyy, cant wait to see more of you!

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  17. Awenatey said:

    Chai! Your poor suitcase 😂

    June 10, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, e die finish!

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  18. GeneralExcellence Kay said:

    Great lesson… marriage in itself is a classroom created by God to help us mature into Christlikeness… so those who check out only deferred the course… they’ll need to write that exam someday…

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Wise words Kay…wise words!

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  19. Isaiah said:

    Such a great piece yet utterly hilarious! I laugh aa enter wardrobe inside!!! Lmao

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, you dont do and come out of the wardrobe, they’ll finish you like they finished my Youki.

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  20. Dzifa said:

    Youki! That drink is bae. Please bring me 5 bottles when you come back.

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Eii see dis one o. You wont even start from a humble 1. lol. Your prayers have to be intense papa

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  21. Leslie said:

    My guy!!! I laugh saaaaa!! I knew the stories would start coming and I also knew you’d find such amazing wisdom nuggets to share from em! Good stuff Ben! I still dey laugh!

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Hahahaha. Charle Les, e be like e be training school o; lessons piii…all part of what makes it enjoyable.

      June 11, 2017
      Reply
  22. Naa Ofeibea said:

    First time reading your blog and I’m carried away. You really nailed it

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Not away from the blog, i hope :-). Super glad to have you here. Will be fun to se all your future comments

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  23. Amanua said:

    😂😂😂😂 Hilarious and insightful!

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol. Oluwa is involved.

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  24. Yayra said:

    Oh boy! 😁😁😁 Great word for me.
    But Ben, you were missed! Tele and Ewurasi too

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Oooohh chhaarrllee! I miss you more than the Youki seff. lol, Will tell them to come and ‘remove their mouths’ themself.

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  25. Yaa Serwaa said:

    Chaaaaiii I laughed saaa but I can really relate. God help us to be perspective always in such situations. You’ve been missed too Benj

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yaaaaay! It’ll have been so awkward if the missing was one-sided. wunhu saa?

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  26. Esynam said:

    😂😂😂😂but amazing…. Lesson learnt as well…
    I’ve never regretted following or subscribing to Goldinwords… Cant wait for the next story….

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      And you shant wait long Esy, glad the lesson sunk in 😉

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  27. Sussie said:

    Hahahhaa. …Ben is laughed so hard! Great piece, lesson well learned.

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, Sussie, youuuuu like logoligi!

      June 12, 2017
      Reply
  28. MayD said:

    OMG!!! So funny, so real, so… I loved it! Lesson on point. Ben, I identified with the Youki bit…used to get some from Togo; please save a bottle for me? And yeah…we missed you!

    June 9, 2017
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Hihihihihihi…I’ll think about it. Pray thee more generosity and self control into my life.

      June 9, 2017
      Reply
  29. Dzidzor said:

    We missed you too! Great lesson right there.

    June 9, 2017
    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *