Letter To My Dear True Wife III…

Dear Love,

I hope this letter finds you like I intend it to – Quite by Surprise! I don’t know if you’ve seen any of the other letters I’ve hidden all over the house and in my old things but if you haven’t yet, I can assure you that you’re in for a Treat!

You see, I periodically write these letters because it gives me the ability to ‘cheat’ on time by allowing me to make use of your excellent company years before we end up together finally and I can count myself blessed to have you close by every single day.

It gets rough sometimes, I must admit, when there’re so many things on my mind and heart that I’d love to share with someone who’s as close to me as you are now, reading this letter. Unfortunately, in my present state of unwed solitary bachelorhood, that, I can’t do because not everyone needs to know what’s in your mind – a majority of them can’t handle it and others would most likely use the information to manipulate you. This letter, however, is my innovative solution to that conundrum. 🙂

The thought of writing this particular letter actually occurred to me last night when I was having  a discussion with one of your Akumaas about the nature of Love and how it should be versus how it, unfortunately, becomes sometimes. An old soul taking temporary shelter in a young body as I am, I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to find out that the phrase that got me a-thinking was one from older Highlife and Hiplife songs, “Medeɛ ne wo ara”“.

mede - in loveThe inherent Beauty of that phrase was never so evident to me as it became at that point in our conversation. I literally had to pause to take a deep breath *breathe in* *breathe out* for an added second before repeating the phrase again so my voice could wrap itself snugly within the concept once more. You see, I doubt that most people who are ‘together’ nowadays understand the import of that phrase. I believe that too many of them get too wrapped up in the ‘feeling‘ of the moment and the flashing lights to actually sit down and appreciate the import of marriage.

I have a confession to make here, though – there was a point where I fell prey to this innate Fear that maybe I’d meet you and fall in love with you, only to ‘get up‘ out of it one day after! This was one of the things that I couldn’t tell anyone because I thought it was too callous of me to even contemplate out loud. I feared that they would judge me for my fickle behaviour. It was a fear based on the premise that Love as we knew it was fleeting and once one got married, the rose-tinted glasses would come off and everything was destined to go downhill from there, so why bother committing in the first place? There would always be another more attractive one just over the next hill, so why settle?! It took me a while to realise that they weren’t saints either, and just like me, quite a number of them had similar reservations which they also either acted upon by hopping from one ‘understanding’ to another, or forcibly squelched. While the first group would never be satisfied, the second group also failed to actively address those feelings, thinking it was just ‘cold feet’ or choosing to determinedly get married with that elephant in the room… Even now, I see them throwing themselves at the bars of the ‘jailhouse‘ they believe they’ve locked themselves into, trying desperately to get free, out of a Lifetime Commitment within a year or less of signing it. (I bet as you read this, even more of them would have walked away by now, right?) But I digress..

‘Medeɛ ne wo ara’

Medeɛ‘, to wit ‘My own’, in this concept can only be a singular expression of Ownership/Belonging. It lets you know that I’ll brook no sharing with anyone whosoever – parents, siblings, friends, even children, and of course those I deem the dreaded ‘Exes’. I claim all of you for myself – the Good,the Bad and the Ugly, the mistakes and successes, the dreams and hopes, the bills and baggage, the glory and shame, your degrees and qualifications, your experiences and fears, since all these make up You, I lay claim not just to your pluses, but to your minuses too. All of you is mine.mede - all yours

Ne wo ara‘, to wit ‘Is you alone’, eschews the concept of multi-valence that most couples seem to have sullenly embraced nowadays – “My woman, and my side-chick(s)” or “My wife, and my baby mama(s)”. Ebei! I look to nowhere else for support, love, peace, counsel, and of course a warm meal at night. If you let me go my way without your input, if you fail to claim me at some point, I do declare that I will promptly get Lost and only you will be able to find me and bring me back to myself again because I belong to no one else.

I know we would have probably hit a few snags in the road by now. I love you already, but I’d like you to know that mede - grantedI’m already putting effort into accepting the fact that I’ll wake up some days and everything won’t be rosy between us. I’ll realise that the honeymoon has ended and, as all guys do, I shall panic as my Lone Wolf instincts kick in, making me feel ‘trapped’. All I ask whenever you see signs of something like that occurring is that you have a little more patience for me. It’s not an easy thing to shake off years of conditioning to become the ideal male figure of independence and sole direction, in favour of a shared life – even with someone you love – within anything less than a 5 or more years after we tie the knot. Even if I don’t say it quite as often then as I do now or in the earlier years, please rest assured that I don’t take you for granted. I still need you as I used to before  – maybe even more now than then.

I know I’m ‘cheating’ by apologising for the mistakes and pigheadedness of my future self now from way back in the past, but you just try and understand me small eh. I need you for me to be Me, even (especially?) when I’m at my absolute worst. I’ll only admit this to you because You are my Wife and I don’t mind being vulnerable to you – don’t tell any of your friends I said something like this because I’ll deny it Flat Out walahi! – but you women are our true strength. You know the best things you can send me out with each day? Your Blessing & Approval. The days you call me just before I step out of the house to look me over to make sure my tie isn’t crooked, before you sweep away some imaginary lint and give me that nod of approval and smile – those days are the bestest best for me! In fact, the days you’ll do that the morning after a disagreement that was all my fault sef, those are the days that I want to come home after having emptied my bank account for you!

mede - ringsWell now, if I don’t stop here I’ll keep rambling on and on until the cows come home. I just wanted to give you a heads up on the inner workings of the mind of a man who has decided to be in love with you every day. (Yes, I don’t love you with just my heart – my mind was in on the decision too to take minutes to remind my heart on the days of forgetfulness!) I may not seem like that man sometimes when you look at me snoring on the couch with my shoes still on when we should be catching up on them Epic movies you wanna watch, but I’d like you to just look at that white-gold band on your finger that I put there That day. Is it still there? Good. The one you put on mine, is it still there? Yes? Good. Then that Promise still stands.

No matter what happens, in spite of what we go through, I just want to remind you of this one salient fact in its purest understanding…mede - hug1

Medeɛ ne wo ara…

 

 

…Tele 😉

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-)? 

 

41 Comments

  1. Darwin said:

    Beautiful piece

    July 1, 2017
    Reply
  2. Shelter said:

    Beautiful

    August 21, 2016
    Reply
  3. Rubie said:

    Awwwwwwwwwww.Damn Beautiful. This completely reflects of my Boyfriend. He is so like you. He has fought for me for such a long time. And yes,True love is a choice not about feelings,. May God bless Dennis all the days of his life. At first, I’M the one who chose to love him, i soo believed in him and saw our life together but he seemed to just take it for granted. But all along I stood by him, loved him and importantly constantly prayed for him. Now things have changed, He really loves me and treasures me. Now He even prays for me even over the phone. He cheers me on to achieve my goals. Basically, God has answered my prayers. Though He is not yet there, But the good thing, He is willing to learn and change and the better part is, God is working on him. Yaaaaay! Am so happy right here in Nairobi-Kenya JUST TO CONFIRM, LOVE IS MORE OF A CHOICE THAN FEELINGS

    August 15, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      I’m so happy for you, Rubie 😀 ! It’s reassuring to know that the Real Deal exists out there – every single candle lit pushes back the darkness that much more. Kudos…

      August 16, 2016
      Reply
  4. Akua said:

    The wait is over Tele, am right here… lol
    Getting emotional and sentimental reading these lines “I claim all of you for
    myself – the Good,the Bad and the Ugly ,
    the mistakes and successes, the dreams
    and hopes, the bills and baggage, the
    glory and shame, your degrees and
    qualifications, your experiences and fears,
    since all these make up You, I lay claim
    not just to your pluses , but to your
    minuses too. All of you is mine” .

    August 14, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Yes it is, Akua! We were waiting for you saaaaa 😉 Glad you finally arrived

      August 16, 2016
      Reply
  5. Naa A said:

    This just reminds me of my Mills and Boon days! Hahaha. And you’re proof that Ghanaian men can be romantic. Loved it. Keep writing for your wife to be.

    August 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Mills & Boon?! Oh my… 😀
      Glad you liked it tho, Naa

      August 13, 2016
      Reply
  6. Maame A said:

    I absolutely Love this 😍

    August 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      I’m absolutely glad you do…

      August 13, 2016
      Reply
  7. Reginald said:

    You do all Tele. Nice piece there

    August 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thanks, Reggie

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  8. Nana Yaa said:

    “…I’d like you to just look at that white-gold band on your finger that I put there That day. Is it still there? Good. The one you put on mine, is it still there? Yes? Good. Then that Promise still stands.”

    That last bit! Oh dear God! Tele! Tele!! Tele! How many times did i call you?? **in Nigerian accent* this by far, is my favourite letter!

    August 12, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Lol, Nana Yaa! Your Nollywood-inspired accent cracks me up 😀
      I’m glad you think she’d like this one too

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  9. Keni said:

    Tels!! 😉

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Keni! 😀

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  10. Elorm Atakli said:

    Awwww.you make me have hope and faith that all is not lost. I know there re good guys like you out there,I guess is just a matter of time,faith,prayer and continuous self improvement to prepare yourself for that special someone.I have been inspired to write a letter as well to my future hubby.At Gods time I will meet him.😍😊

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Well, the truth’s that there really are no ‘good guys’ out there, just guys who are willing to change and those unwilling to 🙂 Some of us just try to be the first group more often than the second! lol
      Can’t wait to see your own letter tho (drop us a line as soon as you’re done, k?)

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  11. Marian said:

    Wow… that is deep! and beautifully written 🙂

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      😀 😀 😀

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  12. Edem said:

    beautiful piece…… I’m all emotional right now. I’m pretty sure future wife is reading this. 👍 Tele, keep doing you.

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thanks, Edem. Glad you like it 😀

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  13. Quami said:

    Guess future wife will read this….nice piece

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Hopefully… 😉

      August 12, 2016
      Reply
  14. Amazing Grace said:

    Awwwwwwww this was so BEAUTIFUL. I love the fact that you hit on the reality that true love in its purest form is a CHOICE and not just feelings with the latter being deceptive.

    Nicely done!

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thank you, thank you. Glad you approve 😉

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
  15. Araba said:

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
  16. Dorinda said:

    ‘Medeɛ ne wo ara’
    This is beautiful Tels..
    *panda*

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thanks, Dor. It has a certain ring to it, doesn’t it?
      *panda*

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
  17. shika said:

    amazing write up, wakes up your imagination and takes you right into the future. Good work Tele.

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Thanks, Shika. Glad you like it

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
  18. Maabena Bobson said:

    This is AMAZING. Future husband I dey wait for my letter, cos I have a book for you.

    August 11, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Nice 😀

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
  19. Nai said:

    I write to my future husband too ( and hopes he writes to me ) and one day we will sit together and read loll … This is cool well written .

    August 10, 2016
    Reply
    • Tele said:

      Big ups, Nai. It’s one expression of Faith I think only a few people employ, but boy can it set you straight sometimes 😉

      August 11, 2016
      Reply
      • Letitia said:

        True!

        August 11, 2016
        Reply
      • BenJ said:

        Imagine if…

        August 11, 2016
        Reply
        • Oye said:

          Imagine if dieh imagine if! Goldinwords heart-to-heart. Tele and Nai, what say ye?
          Also, maybe Tele and Ewuraesi might wanna see if there’s something there. I’ve been reading some static energy between the lines. *runs away*

          About the piece, burriful there! I’m a little jealous. But who knows, maybe hubby has a book with hidden songs he wrote during his waiting period that he’ll serenade me with in future.

          I think this is good , not only for wifey, but for you. I’ve heard marriage counselors advise that you store all the good memories to remind you what you are fighting for when the going gets tough. I think the musings of your waiting period will help ground you similarly in future.

          August 11, 2016
          Reply
          • Nai said:

            hahahah! If only It were that easy….

            August 12, 2016
            Reply
        • Tele said:

          Herh you two, do you want to spoil my something for me here in the open like dat?! Eiii!
          *running away to do damage control*

          August 12, 2016
          Reply

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