Where Are The Roses? – Guest Blogger Sally Boateng

 

Every now and then I get a mail saying ‘Hey Ben, so I wrote something and I’m wondering if it’s ok to share with everyone?’ I filter a lot of those because I know you and your very tiny tolerance. Immediately you cant see the head or tail of something pe you cant hide it. Why? Why kraa are you like that?

Lol, but it’s good, because it puts Tele, Ewuraesi and I on our toes, but it also sets a standard on what we share from guest bloggers like Sally here today. Sally is a doctor in training and a writer at heart and she brings a very beautiful story.

I am so excited about this piece because it’s such a true reflection of reality captured by putting two extremeties together in a relationship. She starts a conversation that I cant wait to hear your thoughts on. Enough of me, have Sally.

 *     *

The first time I encountered the word ‘boyfriend’ in human form, it was Ato, Esi’s boyfriend. He would bring her roses when he came to see her every week. A single pink or white one for a normal day, and a huge red bunch for her birthday or, on any other occasion he deemed special. I thought, it must be nice to have a boyfriend. Or maybe, in retrospect, Ato was just sweet.

Thirty-two months later, I’m staring at the three letters- b.o.o- on Caller ID as the operator informs me for the sixteenth time that i have reached your voicemail. I’m desperately wondering why you’re not here already when you said you were on your way three and a half hours ago, and on about a hundred other occasions. As usual, I’m thinking of coming to look for you, genuinely out of concern, but I remember the first time this happened and i walked forty six minutes and three seconds in the rain, only to find you sprawled across your carpet playing scrabble with that girl from your office-what’s her face?

I remember fighting back tears as i watched you finish that round before you proceeded to give me a pathetic, “oh, you’re here..hello”, and then proceeded to play another entire game before Miss what’s her face left, but not without throwing me the who-the-hell-are-you look as she defiantly strutted out, like she owned the house, and its owner as well. I remember how you looked into my eyes, and ignoring all the tears, ‘explained’ to me how you didn’t want me ‘intruding’ in your other friendships and ’embarrassing’ you ‘like i had just done.’ And you gave the reason, ‘we’re a different couple’ , so I could not be ‘behaving like all those other jealous girlfriends your friends had.’ Exactly what I had done wrong was lost on me, but i was browbeaten into apologizing. And that was the genesis of what was to become your mantra – ‘we’re different ‘.

 

We’ve been dating for two years, and the closest I’ve met to your family or friends is that stray cat who comes around to devour the leftover fish heads you throw out after eating kenkey. I don’t bother asking about it because i know I’ll get the same response – “we’re different from the others ”

Everytime i badly want to go see a movie and suggest it, you’ll tell me , “it’s cliché, let’s watch something at my place instead”. Which I should add, involves me staring blindly into space while you play endless rounds of FIFA till i fall asleep. I know, we’re different.

Sometimes, i just want to call someone in the middle of the night after a nightmare, but I won’t dare, because we’re different from the other couples. Sometimes I want someone to go to the singles’ group at church with, but I can’t suggest it, because we’re different.

Sometimes, i want someone to call me randomly and ask how my day is going, but we’re different.

Sometimes I want someone to make me soup when I’m sick and hold my hand and pray with me, but i guess we’re different.

Sometimes I want someone to take me everywhere and anywhere, encircle his hand around my waist and show me off to the world, but well, we’re different.

Sometimes, when i ‘do something wrong’ , I just want to hear you say, ‘it’s okay, i love you’, instead of yelling over the phone incessantly , but I keep forgetting- we’re a different couple.

Sometimes I want to be the one all my friends envy; I want to be the one whose bed is strewn all over with thoughtful nothings on my birthday, the one who’ll definitely have the biggest cake to share on St. Valentines Day. But, I suppose it’s all part of us being different.

For once, just once, I want to be the one of the voices at eleven pm excitedly giggling about our dates on Saturday nights , and not fall asleep three whole hours earlier than my friends, partly because I’m tired of going green with envy at their stories, and also out of exhaustion from spending my day cleaning your house and making your meals for the coming week. By now it should have sunk in- we’re different from them.

Sometimes I think you’re making an idol out of this whole idea of being different, and i constantly have to shed my dignity and bow in ‘reverence’. It’s become a debasing enshrinement where it’s more than my knees on the ground. I’m on all fours, crawling my way deferentially to the deity of Your Royal Difference. But maybe, I’m just not grasping the full picture yet. Maybe, I’m not on the ground after all. Maybe, in bowing my knees, I’m actually standing taller than the Burj Khalifa for all I know- after all, we are different.

But B, do you ever think of it this way? Do we really have to be that different? What if I really just want to be like the others? What if i want you to make it clear to Miss what’s her face and all the others that you have a girlfriend?

What if I want to know if your mother would like or hate me? What if I want to feel like I’m worth every cedi you spend on me? What if I want to feel I’m worth your every minute, or at least the few you spend with me? What if I just want to know that, at the very least, you have my back anyday, anytime?

What if I don’t want to be different? What if i just want roses like Esi’s? And maybe, a bunch of red ones on my birthday too.

May 14

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-)? 

112 Comments

  1. Amara Benson said:

    Salllllly! Lol
    Such a great read. Hope we all find our someone’s we can do crazy stuff with. Our party is still pending 😜

    September 13, 2017
    Reply
  2. akos said:

    Its heart breaking.hmmmm

    September 6, 2017
    Reply
  3. Esi Asinyo said:

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …………….what if?

    June 24, 2016
    Reply
  4. Oye said:

    Sally, Gye wo two.
    I too remember when we’re special/different/unique got me. Thank goodness the scales fell off eventually. Thanks for sharing. Good one.

    June 22, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks😊😊. Love your work too

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  5. Emmanuel said:

    Intriguing piece!
    Why do we feel the need for relationships even if they area to our peril?

    June 7, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Yeah…that’s the problem

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  6. Elorm said:

    Dump HiS Royal Difference ohhh tonn!

    June 3, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lol

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  7. arnold said:

    wow! its interesting how long a woman can decide to suffer (for lack of a better word). it is also true that women are the ones who actually do love. my only problem is why they love the wrong men for so long all the time. beats my mind. sally B (nice name) i believe this piece will help as many as read it. thanks.

    June 1, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lol. I actually think it’s both ways..men suffer too sometimes. But undoubtedly women are too often the victims. About my name though…thanks😊😊😊😊😊

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  8. Dorcas said:

    Great piece Sally!!!

    May 31, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks😊

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  9. eadbert said:

    Impeccable🙌

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😊

      June 10, 2016
      Reply
  10. MayD said:

    hmm…there are so many guys from Mars out there…
    can’t be too different for too long…
    great piece, Sally!

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Hahaha. Thanks MayD 😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  11. Gayle said:

    Standard!👌🙌

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Standard😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  12. Manny said:

    Nice piece . Great job Sally.

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Manny😊😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  13. ekow orhin said:

    Sally though🙌..definitely impressed..great piece

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lool. Thanks😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  14. dela said:

    Lachrymose

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😢

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  15. Vandel said:

    nice one Sally. big ups.

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Vandel😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  16. Kay Bee said:

    Wow, Sally…….I must say I’m impressed. Really good piece. I loved it. Keep it up.

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Kay Bee😊😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  17. Toska said:

    Nice piece, For a moment I was like Sally went through all this???, I thank God its imaginary cos It will be very sad if someone goes through this, well done Sally, I felt the emotions keep it up

    May 30, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Loool.. Thanks Toska😊😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  18. Maame said:

    How different can you be…except you’re from mars lol…nice one😊

    May 29, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😂😂😂….. Thanks Maame😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  19. Betty Rhule said:

    Very well written, and well said!

    May 29, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Betty😊

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  20. Maame A said:

    Great Piece Sally 😍! Lots of truth and emotion in it !!a lot of relationships exist like this in the world ! It’s sad , justifying it with “being different” lol .Keep writing !! God bless you 😊

    May 29, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Maame😊😊. God bless you too🙏🏾

      May 30, 2016
      Reply
  21. Ethelyn said:

    Wow…..lovely. Felt the emotions behind every “what if”.. Keep it up.

    May 29, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Aww. Thanks. 😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  22. Sally Asantewaa said:

    aww. beautiful piece,namesake…😀lol

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
  23. Sally Asantewaa said:

    aww beautiful piece,name sake..lol

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Namesake😊😊👯👯. Thanks!

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  24. Aqwiyah said:

    This is awesome Sally. Keep it up

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  25. Sharon said:

    Enter Your Comment…dump his sorry ass! different my foot! good one there though

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Loool. Thanks😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  26. Asabea said:

    I love it😍😍😍😍😍😍

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  27. Kuukie G said:

    Beautiful piece right there. Looking forward to reading more.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Kuukie😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  28. Xixi said:

    Please dump him!

    Great writing!!! 👍🏼💕

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😂😂 Thanks Xixi😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  29. Bella said:

    Beautiful piece Bee. Couldn’t stop reading.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Bella😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  30. Nana said:

    I can relate and it’s not cool at all

    Thanks for this Sally

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Aww. 🙏🏾🙏🏾

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  31. Kwabena said:

    Lovely piece of writing but it saddens me it’s taken 2 years of being “different” for her to realize she was being shortchanged. Hope she’s gotten enough strength to leave now.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Ikr.. Thankfully she’s imaginary😄😄. But we pray for all those in similar situations ( as well as thise who put others through this). May God teach us all what it means to truly love😊😊. Thanks Kwabena😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
      • Sally B said:

        *those

        May 29, 2016
        Reply
  32. Emelda Edem said:

    Sally!!!! hmmm this is so apt. great piece keep it up

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Emelda😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  33. flo said:

    Your royal difference. ? LOOL!
    God bless you Sallie.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lool… Bless you too Flo😊😘

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  34. Afya said:

    I can rly relate to this. I dnt even regret ever letting go. Hmmmm

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Aww. We thank God you’re free now🙏🏾

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  35. Naa Shika said:

    I loved it. Great piece, Sally. 👏

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  36. Evelyn Bruce said:

    I wanted more, only for it to end 😐
    Great one there. Keep it up.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Aww. I’ll make it longer next time 😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  37. Anamoaba said:

    Great piece Sally

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😊😊

      May 29, 2016
      Reply
  38. Ro. said:

    “You are different ” S.B

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😂😂

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  39. Elise said:

    This is really beautifully written…. Keep it up, Sally!

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Elise. Learning from you 😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  40. Roland said:

    Very touching. “Your Royal Difference”. Great piece.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lol. Thanks😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  41. Afua Nyarko said:

    😊😍😍
    Loved every bit of it! Nice piece Sally

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Afua😊😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  42. Kofi K-oma said:

    Really good one there. Thumbs up

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      👍🏾😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  43. Abena said:

    I felt the emotions behind it… I pray we are all able to settle for people who value us but we need to remember that it all starts with us valuing and loving ourselves first.
    …Your Royal Difference…😍
    Thanks Sally

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Amen🙏🏾🙏🏾..Thanks Abena. I totally agree with you👍🏾.

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  44. Abena said:

    I felt the emotions behind it… I pray we are all able to settle for people who value us but we need to remember that it all starts with us valuing and loving ourselves first.
    …Your Royal Difference…😍

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
  45. Nana Amma B said:

    Sally😀. Beautiful piece👍🏼

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Amma😊😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  46. Natasha Yeboah said:

    Beautiful in its simplicity. Definitely worth the read!

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Tash😊😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  47. Yvette said:

    I love it😍😍

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      It loves you too😄😄

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  48. Duamoa said:

    Beautiful piece😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😊😊😘

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  49. Leslie said:

    Not every different is good lol. Nice piece, beautifully written!

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Lool.. Yeah thanks😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  50. Elorm said:

    Dear God,let everyone realize their worth and not settle for such mediocre relationships because of societal pressure to get booed up.Amen.To everyone here,know your worth,don’t give anyone discounts.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Amen🙏🏾🙏🏾. These are imaginary characters but there are definitely millions of people in similar situations. May God truly show us our worth in His sight.

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  51. Zizi said:

    This is a really good piece…I could feel the emotions seeping through every sentence. Good job Sally!

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Yaay😊😊. Thanks!

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  52. Sol said:

    Nice one…. “Your Royal Difference”…. Hahaa…. Nice one

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      😀😀

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  53. Letitia said:

    Touching! I felt the pain each time the word ‘different’ popped up.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      aww

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  54. Diori Hamani said:

    I love this! It speaks volumes of immeasurable truth. I could feel the hurt and the disappointment, especially in the first two paragraphs—I could instantly feel myself in her place. It is sad the things we take for granted, and this guy was a fool than none other.

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Glad you love it. 😊😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  55. Sally B said:

    Thanks Prophay😊😊

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Takyiwa said:

      Sally, Sally, Sally! 😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
      • Sally B said:

        Takyiwaaaa😊😊😊

        May 28, 2016
        Reply
  56. Priscilla Dadzie said:

    Wooow. Interesting

    May 28, 2016
    Reply
    • Sally B said:

      Thanks Priscilla😊😊

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  57. Prorphay Markaffui said:

    woooooooowwwwwwwwwww.
    exciting piece there Sally……. sooooooooooooooo exciting. 😍😍😍😍😍 more grace

    May 28, 2016
    Reply

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