Nana Oye is a girl genius who is no no stranger to Goldinwords, when she first featured here, she was just starting her post grad in some top notch Americana school…now she is a full-fledged Doctor of Economics (She’ll kill me for blowing her horn). So here’s this hot Christian genius (very young too), finding time in-between developing economic frameworks to write about something I think is so critical. It’s like the ringworm under the pretty hairs of almost us all.
I cant wait to see what you think. Dr. Oye, over to you…
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Akosua saw the light die in Selasi’s eyes when her tongue landed firmly on the ‘n’ in ‘virgin’. She sighed silently, knowing there was little to no chance of a fourth date now. This was her fifth Ojacious Singles connection this year, and every single one of the men had reacted similarly to her disclosure that she was virginal. It did not seem to matter whether this came up on the tenth or third date; it seemed a hard no to Tim, Kwame, Kwesi, Alfred and Selasi. This was the very reason she had decided to give Ojacious Singles a try. She was tired of getting this reaction from so-called worldly men and thought she’d try a crowd that should have appreciated it. Boy, was she mistaken!
As Selasi gulped down his hibiscus tea, visibly trying to regain his composure, her thoughts went back to their first date, and the events that led them to this point. She had called Selasi at 7:00 am one fine Saturday to bail on a date to Bojo since she had to step in for a sick friend, Aya, at Youth Day that afternoon. He had quickly sympathized and offered to help with the kids. After he sent a 30 second video of him rapping Lecrae, she knew he would be a hit with the 13-19 year olds and acquiesced. He showed up and Akosua barely had to do anything to settle him in with the kids, leaving her with plenty of time to help out with some other event management duties Aya had.
A number of the older Sunday school teachers made sure to tell her to hold on to this one, and she found herself beaming with pride at a man she had never seen in person before that day. Their second date was a prayer hike through Aburi gardens, followed by a picnic. Since the details of the date were kept a surprise from her, he did the food prep, and Akosua fell a little bit in love as she savored the Mpotowmpoto he insisted was all him. Between dates, their conversations were seamless and she felt she had known him for much longer.
He had been to a wedding the day before that fateful third date. Apparently, the couple at that wedding shared their first kiss at the altar and so he asked what her thoughts on abstinence were. She answered truthfully, saying that while she understood too well the treacherous nature of the flesh, she believed in adhering as closely as possible to the biblical standard with God’s help. He then asked how she managed to stay away after tasting the forbidden fruit. She smiled at the subtext and let the cat out of the bag.
Akosua does not remember what happened next, but remembers the voice note Selasi left the next day while she was at Women’s Fellowship – I am not worthy of you, I am afraid I will cause you to sin, I don’t want to hurt you and your relationship with God. Variations of these three phrases made up a very long voice note.
Akosua had been a tad hurt when Tim said he could not date a virgin because he is quite sexually adventurous and did not want to be bored by a starfish and when Kwame flat out blocked her on all platforms. By this time, she was numb and just sat for a few seconds before putting in a Joe Beecham cd and starting her car. Life goes on.
Insight comes in the most unexpected packages and as she worked on her back-ward bending labor curves the next day, she realized that there seems to be some sort of age-determined switching point for the desirability of celibacy, even among the holiest of holy. Kwesi had spelt it out clearly – he intended to marry his next girlfriend, but as that could not happen for the next three years due to financial and other reasons, he needed a ‘sinning saint’ he could sometimes ‘fall’ and pray for forgiveness with. She’d thought him callous then. But perhaps he was just saying what the others all felt but could not say.
Has she out-holied even the holy men? Why should virgin=frigid starfish to these men? Would she truly have to relax the pleasing God constraint now, after everything, to get married?
Hopefully, the answer is no. Have you had similar experiences? Would you date a virgin?
PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-(?