True story. True true story: A guy recently joins this company in Accra. It’s his second week and he’s presenting to the entire company. It is his first assignment since he joined the team and the strategy he is presenting is very important for the project the team is working on. His Dell laptop is connected to the projector and his computer screen has filled the wall at the other side of the board room. His bosses are seated, paying rapt attention. The wider team is also present, this presentation is critical for the job at hand.
New guy is on slide eleven, twelve more to go. The room is quiet, all eyes are on the wall. He is making a point on slide 11, then it pops up on his screen, projected on the wall. The wicked, disloyal popup said: Horny devil xxx download complete! Gbam.
In the microseconds before anyone could react I activated my x-ray vision. His heart would have left a Ferrari behind on a racecourse. His pores widened for the sweat that was about to rain cats and dogs. His mind went into panic mode: is there an alibi sensible enough? What do I do? Just one week and my shame has manifested. Company internet. 9 in the morning.
In the mean time the room has dissolved into the kind of laughter that makes your lungs ache and gives you the license to smuggle a small fart without anyone hearing or caring. People slide unto the floor, some stumble out of the boardroom. The boss bellows “Herh Sam, you dey download porn eh?!”
Finally, his mind comes through for him. He has the perfect response
“Eeeiii this virus. This virus has come again. Hmmm….this isn’t the first time oo, I don’t even know where it came from.”
What a laaaammme comeback! So lame, the laughter doubled.
Bro Sammy. New guy. You have clearly reached sensei level. You don’t want any normal horny, you have downloaded horny devil. Not just any horny devil too, horny devil xxx. You need the devil himself, with thrice the lust to turn you on! That’s when you realize that lust is not your friend at all. She told you she’ll be discreet; no one would ever find out. She’ll leave no evidence, no one will be able to trace any shenanigan back to you. She lied. Sue her.
She joins the crowd of people who respected you moments before to laugh at you. She expects you to understand, to not take this personal. This is how it is. If you are desperate enough to get hard any which way, you should be ready enough to take the shame come what may.
There is a verse in the Bible that will blow you away, in a completely different way from how Bro. Sammy would have fancied a blow. It’s in Proverbs 5. It’s one of those readings you wonder how the heck you didn’t know it existed. Like you’re only now finding out about Police Academy, and you’re wondering how you, a movie aficionado could have missed such a show stopper…well that’s proverbs 5 for you.
One of the verses say; The lips of another man’s wife may be as sweet as honey and her kisses as smooth as olive oil, but when it is all over, she leaves you nothing but bitterness and pain.
Chaaiiii, wharrashock! Replace ‘another man’s wife’ with horny devil xxx or any such vice and the value remains same. There’s nothing in the devil’s thong ooooo tom! That bottos, is pompo (boil), the waist beads are handcuffs, that twerk is an earthquake’s mating call. It’s aaall a sham. Nothing that pleases your flesh against your conscience’s warning can bring you enduring pleasure.
So well, Bro. Sammy has a very steamy reputation carved out for him. I am told his wife passed by the office yesterday. People were just judging her for things she had no hand in. They wondered if she knew who her competition was and whether she could face off with horny devil xxx.
I’m signing off with the final verses. It’s so strong worded, cutting through the niceties and being downright blunt; The sins of the wicked are a trap. They get caught in the net of their own sin. They die because they have no self-control. Their utter stupidity will send them to their graves.
#PinDropSilence #DidYouSaySomething lol. Peace out fam, be wise.
PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-(?