The Devil In A Thong!

True story. True true story: A guy recently joins this company in Accra. It’s his second week and he’s presenting to the entire company. It is his first assignment since he joined the team and the strategy he is presenting is very important for the project the team is working on. His Dell laptop is connected to the projector and his computer screen has filled the wall at the other side of the board room. His bosses are seated, paying rapt attention. The wider team is also present, this presentation is critical for the job at hand.

New guy is on slide eleven, twelve more to go. The room is quiet, all eyes are on the wall. He is making a point on slide 11, then it pops up on his screen, projected on the wall. The wicked, disloyal popup said: Horny devil xxx download complete! Gbam.

In the microseconds before anyone could react I activated my x-ray vision. His heart would have left a Ferrari behind on a racecourse. His pores widened for the sweat that was about to rain cats and dogs. His mind went into panic mode: is there an alibi sensible enough? What do I do? Just one week and my shame has manifested. Company internet. 9 in the morning.

In the mean time the room has dissolved into the kind of laughter that makes your lungs ache and gives you the license to smuggle a small fart without anyone hearing or caring. People slide unto the floor, some stumble out of the boardroom. The boss bellows “Herh Sam, you dey download porn eh?!”

Finally, his mind comes through for him. He has the perfect response

“Eeeiii this virus. This virus has come again. Hmmm….this isn’t the first time oo, I don’t even know where it came from.”

What a laaaammme comeback! So lame, the laughter doubled.

Bro Sammy. New guy. You have clearly reached sensei level. You don’t want any normal horny, you have downloaded horny devil. Not just any horny devil too, horny devil xxx. You need the devil himself, with thrice the lust to turn you on! That’s when you realize that lust is not your friend at all. She told you she’ll be discreet; no one would ever find out. She’ll leave no evidence, no one will be able to trace any shenanigan back to you. She lied. Sue her.

She joins the crowd of people who respected you moments before to laugh at you. She expects you to understand, to not take this personal. This is how it is. If you are desperate enough to get hard any which way, you should be ready enough to take the shame come what may.

There is a verse in the Bible that will blow you away, in a completely different way from how Bro. Sammy would have fancied a blow. It’s in Proverbs 5. It’s one of those readings you wonder how the heck you didn’t know it existed. Like you’re only now finding out about Police Academy, and you’re wondering how you, a movie aficionado could have missed such a show stopper…well that’s proverbs 5 for you.

One of the verses say; The lips of another man’s wife may be as sweet as honey and her kisses as smooth as olive oil, but when it is all over, she leaves you nothing but bitterness and pain.

Chaaiiii, wharrashock! Replace ‘another man’s wife’ with horny devil xxx or any such vice and the value remains same. There’s nothing in the devil’s thong ooooo tom! That bottos, is pompo (boil), the waist beads are handcuffs, that twerk is an earthquake’s mating call. It’s aaall a sham. Nothing that pleases your flesh against your conscience’s warning can bring you enduring pleasure.

So well, Bro. Sammy has a very steamy reputation carved out for him. I am told his wife passed by the office yesterday. People were just judging her for things she had no hand in. They wondered if she knew who her competition was and whether she could face off with horny devil xxx.

I’m signing off with the final verses. It’s so strong worded, cutting through the niceties and being downright blunt; The sins of the wicked are a trap. They get caught in the net of their own sin. They die because they have no self-control. Their utter stupidity will send them to their graves.

#PinDropSilence #DidYouSaySomething lol. Peace out fam, be wise.

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe, okay :-(?

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22 Comments

  1. Akosua said:

    Just reading this but great piece though! This quote has helped me overcome a lot of temptations : ‘The devil gives short-term pleasure with long-term regrets’. Pornography can be very addictive and have very bad repercussions. I’ve been a victim before and it only took 1 bold decision (after the many that failed) to break free from this bondage. After that the devil will now come and start making you feel guilty (and tell you that God is disappointed in you) when you go to church or pray but God’s unconditional love is a great consolation. He never stops loving us😀 Thanks BenJ for this!

    July 9, 2016
    Reply
  2. Esther said:

    Hahahahahaha….office internet di33,disgrace nkoaaa. Nice piece.

    April 11, 2016
    Reply
  3. Izzy said:

    Nothing that pleases your flesh against your conscience’s warning can bring you enduring pleasure.

    You talk all my brother

    March 27, 2016
    Reply
  4. Esi Asinyo said:

    Eeeiii Ben! Today dier, I will comment some. Hmmmm….are you a prophet or what? This message cuts deep. Don’t stop. Been reading for almost two years now. Thumbs up.

    March 18, 2016
    Reply
  5. Amanda said:

    It’s been long since I came here oo. This post has really got me laughing.

    March 14, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Eiiiiii Aaaammmaaannnndda! Like that you are? since you finished with IAs and grade GPAs you’ve come on top o. Remember oooo, lol. You’ve been missed!

      March 15, 2016
      Reply
      • Amanda said:

        Aww Ben. It’s not my fault. I’m back for good hehe. You’ve also been missed.

        March 17, 2016
        Reply
  6. Maame Efua said:

    wonderful piece.

    March 14, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thanks Maame 🙂

      March 15, 2016
      Reply
  7. Adzo said:

    Lol I am still laughing but this piece cuts across all our weaknesses, may God strengthen us all

    March 13, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, yessss. May He really strengthen us…we all need it.

      March 13, 2016
      Reply
  8. Elorm said:

    Gbam gbam gbam!
    There is nothing in the devil’s thong!
    PS: the part about the fart-hiding laughter… hehehe.ajeiii masree saah. Have you been reading people’s (not mine tho) minds?

    March 12, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yoouuuuuuuuu, lol you always manage to dig out my hidden favorite parts lol, perhaps I wont have been bad at medicine oo…seeing as there’s a doctor whose wavelength i share 🙂

      March 13, 2016
      Reply
      • Elorm said:

        You would have been great kraa…

        March 13, 2016
        Reply
  9. dela said:

    Living the good life…

    March 12, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      ….except grace!

      March 13, 2016
      Reply
  10. Naashika Saka said:

    3y3 asem ooh, it’s just sad da kind of shame our vices sweet talk us into, agye mercy nkoaa.
    Bless yu bunchest for dis piece Ben.
    PS. small small i’m becaming a goldinwords addict ooh, me de3 I don’t ky33 koraa na i’m hooked ladat😉

    March 12, 2016
    Reply
    • aj said:

      being hooked to this blog is way better, and you are not alone

      March 12, 2016
      Reply
      • BenJ said:

        Ok then let’s all tie our cloths together seeing as it’s same story here too.

        March 13, 2016
        Reply
    • BenJ said:

      I’m probably more addicted to reading from you than you are to the blog now…dont stop 🙂

      March 13, 2016
      Reply
  11. Letitia said:

    Triple X

    March 12, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol, Vrs Undertaker

      March 13, 2016
      Reply

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