Adult Love, Childish games.

childish loveA boy was playing with a girl one day. She had ten pebbles and he had ten candies. They thought it’ll be swell to make an exchange. Gimme your candies, and I’ll give you my pebbles.
The girl reached into her pocket and handed over to him all ten of her pebbles. He however, took out just 4 and gave that out. That night, the guy couldn’t sleep, he was haunted by the thought that maybe, the girl hadn’t given him all of her pebbles.

“She musta stashed some.” He thought. “If i did that, then surely she also could.”
All that time he was wondering if he had been played, she slept soundly. She had no care in the world, nothing to worry about. She’d given him all she had, in her mind he had too. He was bound, she was free.
We lose to gain and gain to lose. Often, our measure of victory is how much we have to ourselves after the deed is done, but shouldnt it rather be how much we gave when we could?

When we love, we dont give our all. What will we have if they take us for granted? So we hold back some care, some love, some tenderness, like we were the central bank of some volatile economy. We insure our hearts against the people we love the most, it seems a smart thing to do. But arent we allowing secular thinking to stain the timeless beauty of something as pure as love, or friendship?

You purposely do not pick his first two calls “I dont want him to think I’m too available.” You refuse to reconsider your decision after her sound explanation “I dont want her to think I’m weak”
Thing is, until you give him your all, you’ll always suspect that he’s holding something back. Until you’re absolutely sincere, you’ll always sense some some deception in her. Life’s too much to wonder if the other has something stashed. The freedom is in giving all.

Leave everything at the table and you get to walk away without regrets. By everything, I dont mean such non-negotiables as your dignity or salvation. But what is within your power to go, must go. It’s indescribable the kind of peace that floods you when you know for sure that you’ve given your all.

Maybe someone will call you silly, but what right does he have? Chance’s are he goes to be each night wondering how many pebbles some other has kept from him.
Fact is, you can only do so much, then what’ll be will be. you could be the most possessive, stringent, man and still not know of your wife’s chronic frolicks. If you spend half the energy you spent being shrewed, smart, analyzing, accusing and worrying on saying short prayers, you really wont have anything left to worry about.

So I’ve decided, I don’t care how much candies you’re handing over, I’m giving all my pebbles.

PS: If you liked this, you know the drill ;-)
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17 Comments

  1. MayD said:

    BEAUTIFUL…
    a lot of people hold on to something, some sort of “insurance”…
    but what if we all gave our all?

    May 27, 2016
    Reply
  2. MayD said:

    beautiful…there are so many people holding on to a lil bit, some form of insurance…
    but what if we all gave our all?

    May 27, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yes, yesss! I couldnt agree more. We should give our all, but that’s so not easy.

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  3. Jeon said:

    Great piece and I agree with every single word in there 2000%.
    kudos…

    May 26, 2016
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Why, thank YOU Jeon! 2000%, wow we sure are gonna get along 🙂

      May 28, 2016
      Reply
  4. nife said:

    words to live by, anyday, anytime, anyyear… Thanks Ben

    March 31, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thanks dear. I’m sstttiiiilllll waaaaiiitttinnnnggg…..

      April 2, 2015
      Reply
  5. Sherry said:

    Great piece. I’m very impressed.

    March 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      You know Sherry, your comment actually had me going to re-read this post again. Was a refresher course to even me, so I get to thank you!

      March 6, 2015
      Reply
  6. Selassie said:

    Got me thinking…interesting

    March 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      If those thoughts birth some action, do keep me in the loop?

      March 6, 2015
      Reply
  7. Angela said:

    You said it right

    January 30, 2015
    Reply
  8. yolanda said:

    Wish I saw this 2 yrs back. This is wisdom.

    June 12, 2013
    Reply
  9. Ofosua said:

    That is just cute… and very deep… would I want to stand before God that Day to be told I loved too much or loved too little…? Great piece

    May 26, 2013
    Reply
  10. Abui said:

    wow, that was a refreshing read!
    love it

    May 25, 2013
    Reply
  11. Naa said:

    Nice story

    May 24, 2013
    Reply
  12. maame said:

    good piece

    May 24, 2013
    Reply

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