Just the Tip

“WHY are you so far away,” he mutters. You look at him, smile and inch closer, as if it were a command. Your shoulders are now touching, and his left arm goes around your head and pulls you even closer. Then his hands. His big, masculine hands slowly travel from your neck and gracefully make their way to their new home at the small of your back. Like clockwork, shivers come alive and travel up and down your spine. Sitting against his headboard, watching a movie, your neck does its job of tilting your head ever so slightly to the right. You’re open, your body says. His body takes the cue and his right hand escorts your two legs, disrupting the conversation between your inner thighs and the perfect cross at your ankles, and moves them over his. Your beautiful legs now require a little too much effect to make that perfect cross, so you leave them slightly ajar. Those big hands of his now glide from your leg to your thigh. Right where you wanted them.

At this point your body is in a world of it’s own. Your delicate hands are now doing things at your behest. His are purposeful, tactful and now clothes are misaligned and the breathing is heavier.

Hands. Lips. Hips. Ears. And you know where this is heading. You said you wouldn’t be here. You were sure you weren’t going to be in this position. Your willpower will bring you through. You will stop it, if necessary. So you’ve decided you’re not going to have sex. But everything feels. SO. GOOD. Now your body is doing a parlance between trying to be closed off because your mind is saying don’t want this, and arching in all the right places because you really want this.

One thing leads to another and you’re now resolved to doing anything but the “actual act of sex”. In his most valiant effort to convince you, Rico Suave breathes…

“Just the tip.”

How many times have you been the girl with the beautiful legs? Or Rico Suave? Or even heard of an incident involving either of them? Yeah? Me, too. We play this game of how-far-can-I-go constantly. I know I do. And it isn’t just with sex. It’s with everything. We are more than willing to go to the edge of the cliff, even hang over and hope someone will catch us before we fall to an untimely demise for the sake of pleasure. “Just the tip” and next thing you know you are body, mind, spirit, and soul, involved in whatever was supposed to be a passing fantasy. Those images from that porn keep replaying in your head and won’t seem to go away. That one drink isn’t enough anymore. A pack of cigarettes just isn’t giving you the same high as it did before. Suddenly, sleeping just because you have the time to, instead of because your body needs rest becomes the norm. An unethical way to get a business deal? Yes, please, there’s nothing wrong with being smart.

As I have conversations about what Christianity means, there’s almost always someone who suggests we are in the 21st Century and we must alter our Christianity to fit the times. We can’t follow the same old rules to get what we want anymore. We want the same God of yesterday, today, and forever when we’re ready for a miracle. But that same God forbid if we have to be self-disciplined in any way. I mean, there’s so much this world is offering, we have to be able to indulge.

Don’t believe the hype of this world, though. For some reason, many of us think it’s torture that we have to be self-disciplined. We whine and complain every chance we get. We believe we’re being rid of the best pleasures the world has to offer. That’s what the devil is selling. Just the tip. Watch only two minutes of this porn and you’ll be fine. Abeeeeggg. A heroin addict doesn’t take their first hit believing they’re going to end up on an eternal search for the greatest high. But just the tip, and they’re unfortunately led on a downward spiral into an abyss. And I know the feeling. There are so many times when I am trying to convince myself being alone in an intimate setting with an attractive guy will be okay because I have Wonder Woman willpower. A woman once gave a very candid response to a question about how to avoid this kind of thing, saying, “it tells you to run from lust in the Bible for a reason. You just avoid being in that situation. You can’t go to his house alone and say you will be strong. Because he will do that thing and you will like it.” And that resonates with me. As tempting as the fire looks, I can’t put my finger in it hoping I don’t get burned.

God wants us to enjoy the greatest things life has to offer. He made them. He is an advocate for sex. He’s a chill guy who knew the unification of two bodies would be fireworks. He just wants us to enjoy these things in the way in which He designed it, so we’re not hurting each other or ourselves.

The tip is the best part. The sweetest, most succulent part of whatever comes afterwards. I’ve seen written somewhere, the devil doesn’t come in a red costume with horns and a pitchfork. He comes dressed as everything you have ever wanted. And he offers just the tip, just enough to entice you and get you hooked. And because he is who he is, he requires repayment that you do not have, and subsequently takes everything from you.

The self-discipline isn’t the worst thing. It’s okay to not exercise it sometimes, or to do so in very specific capacities, but God doesn’t say this just so we can complain our way through life. We aren’t perfect so we’re going to falter, but we aren’t supposed to build houses in complaints-ville and never leave. Imagine any sports game without the necessary refs? It would be a free-for-all-battlefield. Of course, you could play the game, but it wouldn’t nearly be as enjoyable if there was not an appropriate referee to call the fouls and the goals.

Self-discipline is, arguably, the hardest thing to master, but the one with the grandest reward. A lot like going to the gym, it isn’t entirely exciting at first, but when you see your arms looking like they were sculpted by Charlie Mackesy or buns that look like you paid for them, you realise the discipline is worth it. In the same way, when a just-the-tip situation rolls around and you’re able to overcome it, with any strength you can muster, you can look back and be happy that you saved yourself from some dire situation because you didn’t fall for an illusion. Avoid momentary pleasure for long-term gain.

 

 

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31 Comments

  1. Felix said:

    Hmmmmm…….this piece got me smiling the whole time, expert use of words and totally relatable. Strange how we find ourselves falling for the same bait over and again and afterward wondering what happened. God Bless you, looking forward to more of your works.

    April 4, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      I’m glad you liked it, Felix.
      God bless you too!

      April 13, 2016
      Reply
  2. Eme said:

    This is really deep!!!!!. it transcends through all parts of our lives..some we see and ignore , others we refuse to see… God Help us with Self control….

    March 15, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Amen!

      March 16, 2016
      Reply
  3. Izzy said:

    Grateful you shared this. Indeed his grace has always been sufficient and should we falter, we shouldn’t cling to the regret but rather the lessons learnt.
    Think your piece has solidified my conclusion to a certain life’s matter… God bless.

    March 9, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      I’m glad this piece was somewhat helpful to you.

      Thanks for reading it!

      March 16, 2016
      Reply
  4. Reginald Asamoah Otoo said:

    Thank you for these words. Very inspiring

    Proverbs 6:27 KJV
    Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

    March 5, 2016
    Reply
  5. Sharaun Torsu said:

    Avoiding momentary pleasure for long term gain… Herh Ewurasi!.. His grace is sufficient…God bless u wati…

    March 3, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Isn’t that a beautiful thought? His grace? and how it will forever be sufficient?

      God bless you too, Sharaun. (exotic name, no?)

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  6. jesuszmaboo said:

    great and very encouraging piece…God bless you Ewurasi

    March 3, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      I’m glad it was. God bless you too!

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  7. Benny said:

    I’ve just gotta share this…
    Thank you Ewuraesi

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Please do.
      Thank YOU.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  8. Kwame Owusu-Daaku said:

    Thank you for your openness and honesty…

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      So refreshing to hear. Thank you for respecting it.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  9. Nana said:

    Deep!

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Wide!

      🙂 Thank you.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  10. maame frema said:

    just the tip… hmmmmm !!! thats where our fall starts . May God help us to flee.

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Yes! God give us Usain Bolt speed when we need it.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  11. Maame A said:

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ X infinity !! Da truth !

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Oh staaap it.

      Thank you!

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  12. Teni said:

    We were just discussing this!!

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Were you? What parts exactly? And what conclusions did you come to?
      I’d love to hear more.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
      • Teni said:

        About how we sometimes compromise so much in a relationship and how guys don’t make it easy – even Christian ones. If you want to remain pure, you have to do all the work.

        March 6, 2016
        Reply
        • Ewuraesi said:

          It’s definitely a struggle.
          I see what you mean.
          I find it’s always great when both of you can set boundaries that aren’t flexible.

          But let’s be honest, even then it;s still crazy hard.

          March 16, 2016
          Reply
  13. Kekeli said:

    True Talk Ewuraesi, and very well written! Fleeing is always the way to go.

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Thank you!

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
  14. dela said:

    Just the tip….. A tip of the iceberg…. Maybe swimming around the ocean.
    The person who has self control is a winner.

    March 2, 2016
    Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Indeed. Now how to get to that point of constant discipline is a whole other dilemma.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply
    • Ewuraesi said:

      Priscilla! Thank you.

      March 4, 2016
      Reply

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