I Wear A Ring, But It’s Not For Fashion -Keni Kodjo Confesses

Keni is no stranger here -she literally waltzes into our kitchen to borrow salt for her rice water and she doesnt even ask first! Today, I am pleased to share a peice she only posted yesterday, but will certainly have an eternal impact on you. When I first saw her, I noticed it and I told her “If you write about this, I am featuring it on Goldinwords for shizzle!” And now, in all its glory is the story behind Keni’s ring!

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My name is Keni and this is the most personal post I have written ever since I started blogging a year ago. I thought about whether or not to actually write this- and believe me, the excuses were many. But I am convinced that someone needs to read this. So here it goes…

I wear a ring and it is not for fashion.

I am not married either (even though I have used the ring to keep off a man or two in times past)

I took a purity vow on 30th July 2011, in my living room surrounded by my parents. And because I love symbols, I got a purity ring to go with it- with the inscription ‘True love waits’.

keni1
No, I didn’t get a manicure just for this post.😊

For the last five years, I have had people look at me and say things like:

‘Ei, you p3 na you are holy eh?’

‘Just how realistic is this thing?’

‘Is this because you are a pastor’s daughter? Did your father put you up to this?’

‘I bet your boyfriend is getting it elsewhere’

‘So do you and your boyfriend hug or hold hands?’

‘Wait oo! So how will you know that you will be good at having sex when you finally get married?’

…. and so many other things that I would rather not put in writing.

In this day and age of ‘sexual self-awareness’, where there is a steamy sex scene after every 15 minutes in your favourite movie or series, and every song has one sexual connotation or another, I am here to offer another alternative.

Wait.

Yep, wait.

Wait until you are married to have sex.

Not because you are afraid of getting pregnant (because Ghanaians will never forgive a woman who is pregnant out of wedlock) or because you don’t want an STD or because you are afraid of getting caught. Because if you think about it well enough, there is a way around each and every one of these excuses.

Do it because ‘no other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.’ (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

It is possible. It is, trust me.

There are young men and women who are littered around the world who have chosen to wait. It is not easy but it is doable.

You don’t need to have a ring like I do. You just need to make a decision in your heart to do it and then go ahead and do it. It helps to fill your mind with teachings on purity. There are books like:

 Why True Love Waits by Josh McDowell.

I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris

Passion and Purity- Learning to bring your love life under Christ’s control by Elisabeth Elliot.

When God writes your love story by Eric and Lucy Ludy.

And the bride wore white by Dannah Gresh.

Beyond waiting by Rebekah Snyder. 

Every Young Man’s Battle : Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn.

Every Young Woman’s Battle: Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World by Shannon Ethridge and Logos Bible Software.

If reading isn’t your thing, you can go the visual or audio way.

Pastor John Egyir Croffet, Rev Eastwood Anaba, Amos Kelvin Annan, Pastors Panyin and Kuma Adusa- Amankwah are all Ghanaian ministers who have spoken about purity. There are also ministers like  Joseph Prince, TD Jakes and Francis Chan.

It is also helpful to listen to godly music. You will think about sex if you listen to songs that talk about sex. You should also surround yourself with people who think the way you do and can relate to the struggles you go through to stay sexually pure. Because it will get tough, trust me on that one.

The Bible says, ‘Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good character.’ (1 Corinthians 15:33) It makes a ton of difference to be surrounded by people who are on the purity journey and can encourage you. The Holy Spirit is also a true helper in reminding you of what God’s word says or convicting you when you do something you should not have done. He will help you answer questions like:

Is a little sexting harmful?

How far is too far?

A little porn wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it? Masturbation? 

What’s wrong with dry humping?

And if you do stumble on the ‘road of purity’, don’t forget that God wants to forgive you more than you want to forgive yourself. Even if you feel like you are tired of saying yet another Jesus, please forgive me’, remember that you have been clothed in righteousness in Christ Jesus. It doesn’t matter what the devil brings to mind to condemn you when you lift up your hands during praise and worship. What matters is what God has to say about you. And He loves you- beyond your wildest imagination. Embrace his love and forgiveness and get back on the purity road. 😊

I wish I could tell you that it has been a smooth ride ever since I took the vow.

It hasn’t.

But ‘I press towards the mark of the high calling.’

I invite you to do same.

God bless you!

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe.

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25 Comments

  1. Desha said:

    Amazing article! somebody once told me “virgins are only virgins because of lack of opportunity” Nothing could be further from the truth! It’s only by the grace of God oooohhhh!!! This is a huge encouragement to all ladies (and guys!!)- better to wait! It is SOOO worth it!

    May 10, 2016
    Reply
  2. Lwandile Kumalo said:

    I love this piece and admire you and all the other young ladies who in this day and age would like to and are keeping themselves. You are not only saving yourselves for marriage but saving yourselves from all the disturbing things that come with sex before marriage, like diseases, unwanted pregnancies… I know you get the point. Praise God for this blog, the contributors and the positive people who leave beautiful replies to encourage and show the rest of the world that we all cant be and wont be Beyonce!

    February 23, 2016
    Reply
  3. Becca said:

    Wow this is amazing. It’s not easy but definitely possible. God bless you keni

    February 16, 2016
    Reply
    • Yes, it is definitely possible! God bless you too, Becca!

      April 5, 2016
      Reply
  4. Becca said:

    Wow this is amazing. It’s not was but it’s definitely possible. God bless you keni

    February 16, 2016
    Reply
  5. AbenaS said:

    OMG I love this piece! As a young woman who decided, at the initial stages of her love life, to embark on this purity journey, and somehow managed to stay a virgin until marriage (God is indeed faithful!), I really identify with this piece. God being so good, I made it to the “finish line”. And let me tell you this, it’s worth it! Obedience to God is always worth it, even when the enemy tries so hard to make you doubt it. Well done Keni, I pray that God continues to give you the strength to carry on. May you be an inspiration to this generation.
    PS: I’m a HUGE fan of your work. I’ve read quite a few of your stories 😉

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
    • I love coming across people who have made it to the finishing line! You are proof that it is possible! Thank you for sharing! Amen and thanks for reading the stories 🙂

      April 5, 2016
      Reply
  6. Reginald Asamoah Otoo said:

    Thank you soo much. It’s not easy though but HIS grace is sufficient

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
    • Indeed it is more than sufficient! He is Jehovah Jireh! Won’t He do it?

      April 5, 2016
      Reply
  7. Izzy said:

    Very well said, and even better yet SHARED! As the world has turned into a place where the virginity culture is somehow detestful ( MERCY!), one really needs to be encouraged…
    The hurtful truth is, many won’t get your decision. It’s like unfathomable to be chaste not due to lack of opportunity! But thankfully, you and I are amongst the lot who wake up everyday and recommit to our promise no matter how intense the struggle gets with partners et al. I thank God for my friends who share the same faith journey too for being such rocks… Whether being called prude, frigid or not, we shouldn’t care. The only approval to bother about is God’s. Shikena(the 9ja way).

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
  8. Ephraim said:

    “… it will get tough, trust me on that one”
    Once you decide, GRACE will pull you through.

    I married @31 and I was a virgin! Someone out there… be encouraged; you are not alone.

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
    • Thanks for the encouragement, Ephraim! 31? Wow! ‘Seniors dey inside’

      April 5, 2016
      Reply
  9. constante said:

    hurray! My Daddy was mentionned! heehee…
    Great post! God bless you Keni

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
    • Must be one of the Ghanaian ministers, right? God bless you too 🙂

      April 5, 2016
      Reply
  10. Adzo said:

    I can really relate to this write up, thanks Keni. God bless you for sharing

    February 15, 2016
    Reply
  11. Fead said:

    I loved this. Yes! It is possible. God bless you for sharing Keni. Thanks Ben:-)

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
  12. Selasi said:

    He says,”My grace is sufficient for you” Looking up to Jesus tge author and finisher if our faith is the best and perfect decision we can take when torn between sucumbing to preasure of sex from partner. True….it is not an easy thing even at a point when people you trust start calling you funny names for your stand. We shall smile at the storm with Jesus with us.

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
  13. Baaba Otoo said:

    I can very much relate my dear. It really gets tough at times. But thank God we can always pray anywhere we find ourselves and amazingly he gives us the strength to go through it. We can not do it alone, we need to pray to God for our partners too, so that they can lift us up when we seem to be giving in to the pleasures of the flesh. God bless you for this post and helping us know we have people with similar resolve to stay pure till the right time

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
  14. Aliki said:

    Thanks for sharing. It’s my hope that God continues to strengthen your resolve and give you the strength to overcome every little temptation which comes your way. I celebrate you this 14th February.

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
  15. Addy said:

    Beautiful piece. Its definitely not an easy journey. I made my vow almost 11 years ago and I thank God for seeing me through. Especially when I don’t know anybody who is on this journey as me. God bless u for sharing!

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
  16. Emefa said:

    Every ICGC christ temple youth can relate to the the ring part.😊.what moved me is the *its possible*part.one wil b amazed at the friends God brings ur way when u decide on this.He holds u thru it all ….Smooth mmom di3 it hasn bn.But we know God wil take us thru to a beautiful end..keni…i owe u amadzaaa for this piece charle.God bless u.😚

    February 14, 2016
    Reply
    • I am coming for my amadzaa oo, Emefa! God bless you too, sweetheart!

      April 5, 2016
      Reply

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