So the first part to this story seems to have caused quite a stir. It’s been a long wait and i’ve lost count of the number of emails that have come in demanding this. You have no idea how relieved I am that this’ done. You were patient, so in appreciation I have a surprise waiting for you at the end of this read. I promise you never ‘esperred’ it, but you’d love it.
So picking up from where Kingsley sprung up on Maame that he had a confession to make, here goes;
* * *
She arrived at Alisa some minutes late. When he saw her, when he beheld her, she would have been worth many more hours of waiting for.
“Sorry I’m late.” She said, sitting down. She didn’t explain further, she didn’t need to.
“It’s…it’s fine” he stuttered. The waiter came with his plastic smile one, Kingsley beckoned him to give them a minute.
“I have a confession to make Maame. Please don’t judge me.”
“Can I have a drink first?” it was a question, but with the subtlety of a statement.
Maame wasn’t thirsty, but she’d rather gulp kerosene than be caught unawares. She needed the time to work her mind, to psyche it, to think of all the unimaginable things he could say, to conceive news so terrible that he couldn’t shock or disappoint her. It was one of her many defense mechanisms.
She smiled and took her pretty time to sip on the glass the waiter had just filled up. Kingsley was gittery. It was like being underwater and running out of air; he had only so much nerve.
“I have a daughter, she’s four years old.” He blurted.
She said nothing, her face revealed nothing.
“Last day of Legon, we got too excited. We knew we didn’t belong, but I didn’t see how I could turn away from my responsibility. So four years later, I still think my Lisa is the most adorable daughter ever.”
“Do you? Maame? Because I’m fully aware that what I’ve said could cost me you. It’s possible you’ll decide that this’ just too much weight. I told you because I hoped you’d realize that if at the risk of losing you before I even stood a chance I still came clean with you, there’d be nothing I’d hold back –ever.”
Dang this guy was good! Or was he? By the way, who does that? Lays a ton on a first date? Who told him he stood a chance? O wait, he said he knew he didn’t. Eii, too much to process and look calm at the same time. Time to detour.
“I love the Caesar salad they serve here. I never seem to have enough. Tried it?”
That, he didn’t see coming “Ummn no, not really.”
The conversation never returned to his confession and some mysterious office emergency gave her the perfect alibi to leave soon after.
“I loved lunch. Let’s do this again.” She whispered as she brushed past him. He closed his eyes and breathed in her fragrance. She smelled better than anything on the buffet could taste. It wasn’t the chef’s fault. Even Jamie Oliver couldn’t beat this.
* * *
That night she run a marathon in her mind. She relived the entire lunch date. She assessed his inflexion, his body language, his tone, she micro-analyzed everything. Could this be one of those sympathy sex eliciting stories? It wasn’t her fault she was so critical; she’d seen the worst kind of men with halos on their heads and rosaries around their necks.
Finally she decided that whole thing, it wouldn’t earn him any extra points or attract a deduction. He had to jump through all the hoops the other dozen guys were trying to get through.
Someone must have told him what he was in for, because Kingsley, was, not, backing, down! He met every “This is not a good time” with “No problem, I have all the time in the world for you.”
Three weeks after, she woke up. Not from sleep, but from that subconscious mentality that this cool guy would push in perpetuity. It was late, a little past 10:30pm, but she decided to call. He didn’t pick up the first time and normally she wouldn’t have called again, but she thought ‘what the heck, I’m growing o’ , so she called again. The voice that answered was a woman’s, and it was enchanting. Her heart sunk faster than her mind raced.
“Hi, ummm may I speak with Kingsley please?” She hoped the lady would ask which Kingsley and explain that it was a wrong number.
“Kingsley. He’s indisposed currently, would you like to leave a message?”
Chaiii, her sunken heart started pounding. She breathed in deeply then said calmly “That wont be necessary, just tell him Maame called. I’m sorry for intruding.”
She hung up before the lady could say a word. Men she thought, men will always be men. Bloody he-goat! I should have smelled the stench when he started bleating, foolish me thought he could be correct. Nonsense, I can’t believe I’m going to lose sleep over this idiot. Arrgghhhh! Silly me. She felt something wet trickle down her face, she touched it. It was a tear.
O hold up hold up hold up, was she crying? Gerrouta-heeeerree! Were here tear ducts actually betraying her? She would rip them out and sell them on Tonaton if she could, but to show her who was boss, they let our more tears and soon she was sobbing like a naïve girl. She hated it.
She woke the following morning with a clear resolution; never speak with the goat again. She changed his name to ‘Bleating goat’ on her phone. She didn’t delete it just so she could know who was calling when he tried calling. He still hadn’t called back! It’s not like she was going to pick up –ever again. But she just wanted the gratification of seeing him call and not picking. The longer he took to call, the deeper her ache became.
Finally at around 9:00am, she saw ‘bleating goat’ calling. She fumed. It would take at least 90 missed calls from him to get her feeling okay, and that wouldn’t change a thing. She never wanted to speak with him again.
It never occurred to her that she could be overreacting until she spoke to Sammy the following day at the office. ‘Bleating goat’ had called 19 times by then -70 more to go.
* * *
“Since when did goats start using phones and calling you?” he asked
“Not all goats grow fur and roam the streets on all fours” she retorted
Sammy smiled and got her to debrief.
“See, I’m not defending him” he said “But in my experience, there’s always some explanation for things. Given –it may be foolish and you’d see right through it, but it’s definitely better to hear it and be sure he’s a bleating goat than to judge him without hearing a word from him.”
“You don’t get it Sammy, I never want to talk to him. He’s just a typical no-good, permanently hard, skirt-chasing, two-timing jerk.”
Sammy burst out laughing. It was infectious, and then she started laughing too “Why’re you laughing?” she managed to ask.
“Well, you certainly are a joker, and I’m imagining how very silly you’d look and feel if there was a chance that you’re mistaken.”
She was quiet for a minute “You actually think…you actually think I could be wrong?”
“I think you should be sure you aren’t.”
“But there’s no way I’m calling him back!”
“Don’t. Just pick up when next he calls and listen for one minute.”
* * *
Sammy had to leave for a meeting. He didn’t return till close to 6:00pm. Maame was smiling, staring at a bouquet of flowers like it was a funny Snap.
“Is it nice?” she asked him
“I suppose. From the goat or a new kid on the block?”
“Please I don’t know any goat o. Am I God to create someone and call him a goat?”
“Ah –” Sammy started, then smiled. “You were wrong, weren’t you?”
She got up and turned to a file cabinet to avoid his gaze “Look, look. This is nothing to be excited about, but any other girl would have reacted the same way.”
Sammy burst into laughter.
“It never occurred to me that that was his office line. He always called me with it, so I assumed it was his private number.”
“But it’s not?”
“No, it’s for the office, but he usually has it. He’d been at the office till late. The lady…” She felt so silly narrating it. “The lady is his colleague. She thought he was still in the meeting, but he’d apparently left with the client and had decided to go straight home. The phone had been in the office.”
Sammy couldn’t hide his delight at being right “I’m surprised you didn’t ask for more proof.”
“I did.” She admitted, batting her eyelash like Minnie Mouse and talking in a little girl tone “He had his colleague talk to me. She was so apologetic. She said the first few calls that came from the number was she trying to set things straight before Kingsley came in. she realized I could be mistaken, but I didn’t pick up.”
“M33333hhhhhh” Sammy bleated
She threw a pen at him “O stop it!”
“Did he goat? Sorry, I meant gloat?”
“No o, can you imagine! He sent their dispatch to deliver this.” She said, caressing the flowers. “He said he understood, and we should just move on.”
“M333hhhh, something’s definitely going down tonight!”
“O no, I can’t even see him. I have an all-night rehearsal at church and the Mens’ fellowship at his church have a trip tomorrow, so we agreed to just spend all of Sunday together, after church.”
“Seek ye first the kingdom papa bi! Truly nothing shall pull asunder the shepherd and her goat, ei sorry sheep.”
“Would you stop it Sammy!” she said, smacking him several times with the newspaper on her desk.
* * *
Saturday felt longer than a season. This guy could probably be the real deal after all. Of all the things that got to her, she loved that he was a church guy aaaaannh to the extent that he even participated in Men’s Fellowship activities. She’d never been passed over for God before, and Kingsley had done so. She did a funny dance in her mind and dreamt Cinderella dreams that night.
* * *
At her small Methodist Church in Tema Community 19, Maame was the dynamic star player. Church never felt the same if she didn’t lead worship. Sister Maame was a youth pillar. The head pastor conferred with her many times. They accorded her respect and held her in high esteem. If they had a say on who got what in heaven, she’d be in a penthouse suite.
She used to feel like a phony, like she was leading double lives, but not anymore. Who was a saint anyway? Wasn’t he a sinner who just kept getting back up? Her back had touched the floor more times than average, but does it mean she wasn’t deserving of grace? Certainly no! Sometimes though, she couldn’t help the joke, when the pastor was preaching and used her as reference for a contemporary virgin. She found it impossible to keep her face together. A girl had to do what a girl had to do, and she’d done a lot. Her libido still raged and the ‘all-expense paid’ life nudged her continuously. It always felt like she was walking on thin ice.
A few prominent men in the church had made advances at her though –including one junior pastor. She put them in their place with the same skill a baker puts dough in a pan. If she wanted to sin, it wouldn’t be with these unimaginative, middle-income, pretentious old men. It was hard, but she really was keen to make up for lost time. Thankfully, none of the KNUST mates who knew her score attended her church. There were a few in the community, but the rumors had been dismissed as ‘hater mischiefs’.
More than a few times she’d checked the clock hoping that it was suddenly 12:30 and the benediction was the only thing left to be done. She’d given Kingsley 12:45, so if everything went according to plan, they’d be at Labadi beach or Tawala by 1:30 and make up for all that lost time.
When 12:30 finally came, the sermon was only in its final lap. She felt her phone buzzing in her bag. She ignored it the first few times, but finally had to mind it. Kinglsey had resorted to Whatsapp; he wanted to know if it was okay to come. She asked for thirty minutes, but forty-five minutes later, the Pastor was almost through with the benediction.
“…God be with you all.” He ended “By the way I’d like to have a brief discussion with the choir and youth executives.” He added “Please wait for just five minutes.”
She curled her toes and groaned. Today of all days! She couldn’t take the pressure of putting Kingsley on hold for so long so she stole away to call him. He could barely hear her through all the after-church chattering and laughing that engulfed her. She went to the washroom which was quieter, but was conscious of the possibility of someone being in those stalls.
“Sorry, Kingsely. I feel bad for keeping you waiting and it’s okay if you want to reschedule, but my pastor just asked to meet with choir executives. He asked for five, but I’m sure it could take fifteen minutes. I don’t know if you have something else to do and I’ll hate to hold you up for so long.”
“O it’s fine Maame, I’ve waited years for you, a few more minutes isn’t too much. In fact, whatsapp me your location, I’ll drive over, and whenever the meeting ends, we’ll just leave.”
“Positive. Besides, the longer you stay, the more the anointing, and this breda loooooves the anointing.”
“I know you think you just laughed, but it actually disrupted my blood flow.”
“Eeii, Kingsley Lumba!”
So she sent him the location and he got there five minutes to when they thought the meeting would end, but it didn’t end till a whole hour had passed. She walked to his car head bowed.
She was in a beautiful green GTP Kaba & Slit dress. The top hugged her chest, showing only enough cleavage to be decent, but still accentuating the beauty of a full bosom. It flared out, mercifully concealing the bum factor. The skirt hugged her hips and thighs, then flowed down her ankle. They couldn’t hide her red Loubutin heels though. Her braids were held in a bun, with three draping down the side of her face. Her lips were painted with nude hued lipstick and her ear studs matched the beautiful gold necklace around her neck.
When she lifted her face to say sorry, he saw the eye-lined and mascarad eyes. That mascara. THAT MASCARA! Chaaaiii!!!
“Ah-are you an offering?”
She smiled, showing the tiny space between her two front teeth. “I’m actually like seeing you for the first time today.” Sin started dancing kpanlogo in his loins.
“O stop it,” she warned playfully, sliding into the front seat “I feel so terrible”
He opened up for a hug. She complied. There was that fragrance again. His heart raced as he inhaled deeply.
“Herh, you’re a joker o.” she laughed, pulling away “Will you be serious?”
His voice was jerky and coarse, so when he sung “Don’t wake me uupp, don’t wake me upp upp uuuup up..” she couldn’t hold back.
“Okay, okay I’m alright now. So what’s the plan?”
She noted how he didn’t go on and on about waiting. He was doing very well, this Kingsley guy.
“You tell me.”
“I’d rather do as you say.” Now that, was a gentleman.
“Well time’s already far spent, let’s just head off to La Palm.”
He nodded and started the car. When they were close to the Teshie-Nungua traffic light. He tapped his head “Oo snap!”
“I’ll need to return a hard disk to a friend around Labadi and I forgot it home. Please please please, lets make a small detour. It would only take a minute.”
“Sure.” He’d been patient earlier, surely she could return the gesture.
So he branched right and they chatted till minutes later they were parked in front of a three-storey apartment complex.
It was decent, but not plush. It was a tenant to a floor, so there were three families on the building.
“Come up.” He said
“No its fine. You said it’d take a minute, so I’d just wait here.”
“Maame, you’ve come all the way to my house, at least take a peek at where I live.”
The vain in her wanted to see how his place looked. Should things ever advance she’d be coming over often, she might as well consider its look and feel in making her decision.
“Besides my mum and kid are visiting this weekend, they’re upstairs. C’mon, it can’t be that bad.”
“Oookay.” But let’s not be long.
So they climbed to the first floor and he knocked, when there was no response, he used his keys to open up and ushered her in. Just like the building, his apartment was decent, but not plush. There were some Barbie dolls and a miniature sewing machine scattered on the carpet. He picked them up and headed through a door. She heard the sizzle of something frying and smelled the onions and tuna getting comfortable in hot oil.
He returned minutes later to explain that mum was busy in the kitchen with his little girl so they should go to his room which was just through another door.
“I don’t like the sound of that” she told him
“My aunt and her kids will be coming over any moment, that’s why she’s cooking. I don’t want anyone in my business. Besides there’s a sofa and all.”
“Ah is this your mum’s?”
“No, she’s visiting, but my aunt lives around so they usually hang out when she comes to this side of town. I’ll tell you the full story inside.”
She smiled, then followed him into his room.
* * *
His bed was well laid, queen-size and had a Manchester United rug at the foot of it. The room was dark grey and the curtains were cream. There was a desk top fridge at one corner and a 32 inch TV pasted on the wall across from his bed. His study desk was in a mess and there was some unfolded laundry on a comfy one-seater. He collected and shoved them in the wardrobe.
“I had no idea I’ll be receiving anyone today, forgive the mess.”
He pointed to the bed, she took the one-seater. He smiled. She saw the twinkle of lust in his eyes, but perhaps she could be wrong. He rummaged through some drawers and searched on the desk, then he checked the TV and the external was plugged in to it.
“Got it!” Suddenly he realized something “O forgive my manners, what can I offer you?”
“O I’m good.”
“No you’re not. It’s rude to visit and take nothing.”
“But we’re heading out to lunch anyway, I don’t want to mess up my appetite.”
“One drink cant have the power.” With that he walked to the fridge and opened it
“Okay a soft drink then, or any energy drink.”
“O drat, you’ll have to forgive me. I run out of those. I have some Heineken, Guinness”
“Too strong. Anything else?”
“Ummmm…let me seeee, Smirnof! There’s one last Smirnoff Ice.”
“Smirnoff Ice. Sure, ok.”
He lit up, uncorked it and handed it to her, then he took off his shirt. She took a sip, waiting for him to explain himself. He didn’t, so she stared at those abs and built arms. This Kingsley guy looked strong. He took off his trouser, then he walked towards her, then past her to the wardrobe. He grabbed a light blue Polo and a checked beach shorts.
“What’re you doing?” she asked
“No way, then we’ll have to pass my place so I change too. I can’t be out with you looking all casual and me so dressed up.”
“O but you’re fine.” Then he leaned closer and whispered “Too fine.”
She smiled and sipped some more of the Smirnoff. He continued to dress up. She grabbed a Vanity magazine from the table nearby, he put on the Stereo and started playing some Ed Sheeran music. He was all dressed up now and brushing his hair. He sang into the brush like it was a microphone and did a karaoke of “Thinking Out Loud.”
“…Baby I, will, be loving you, till…we’re seventtyyyy, no eighty eighty…” she laughed, but couldn’t overlook the slight bulge in his shorts.
“whew…” she said yawning “I feel so tired.”
“You do? You do?!” as if she’d just agreed to marry him “You should feel comfortable, take a quick nap.”
“Yeah, just lay on the bed. No disturbance.”
“I’m not sure Kingsley.”
“Don’t be silly, if you’re tired, you do have to rest.”
“Well..” a very long yawn paused her thought for many seconds “Well, I suppose.”
He helped her up to the bed. She resisted, but only a little. When she touched the bed, it felt too soft to want to get up from. Half of her rested on the bed with her bare feet on the Manchester carpet. The music playing too was so cool and the fan must have been blowing mountain top air.
“Are you comfortable?”
“Hmm?” she whispered.
“Are you comfortable?”
He leaned in closer to whisper “Are you comfortable?” his hands casually brushed her breast as he pulled away.
“Oooo..” she responded.
She was completely dazed. His heart beat through his chest, you’ll have thought it wa hip hop instrumentals. His mind unleashed images of copulating bliss and infected every nerve ending with it. He was as hard as a coin. There she was, on his bed, totally dazed by 5% of alcohol. Tweaaa, what a weakling! He thought she was harder, that it’ll be more charged, but this wasn’t bad either. The woman who could have climaxed him with nothing but her fragrance and her cleavage was now at his disposal. Common sense was as far away from him as virginity is from a whore. Conscience was as absent as a drop-out is from a science class.
He removed the Polo top and scampered out of his shorts, tearing the button in the process. Then he stood with hand over his mouth, so clumsy, like a spoilt rich girl in the kitchen for the first time. Then he dashed to a drawer to the side of the bed and rummaged through it. It was there! He took out a shiny square object. What was it? Was it…? It couldn’t…but it was. It was a condom. He tore it open and slipped it on. He was as set for duty as a coward is to flee. She snickered, but he didn’t hear.
* * *
He came slowly, creeping up beside her, turning her a little, trying to undo the zipper behind her dress. She felt his hardness, then decided it was game over. With her back still turned she asked in a very audible voice. “Kingsley Asamoah, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He looked behind him, he thought it was his mother entering in on him, then realized it was really her.
“You heard me, what are you doing?”
He recoiled a little, and he may have regained his composure if she hadn’t done what she did next [lol fam, I am soooo tempted right now to say ‘To be continued’ eh, but I see the knives in your hands and the red in your eyes, so I’ll continue].
She laughed. She laughed like how a mother would if she entered in on her son trying to pick the seized football from the top of the wardrobe.
“I have never met a more stupid man than you Kingsley.” She turned to face him, not getting up, just lying beside him as he was, speaking directly into his face with hers only two inches from him.
“I don’t know what you are more, stupid or naïve. Did you actually think I could get drunk on Smirnoff? Smirnoff ice! Ah-bah. A short while ago Joy Daddy mixed with Paradio bitters, cardinal and lime was my fruit juice, and you think Smirnoff will hold me down” She laughed so deeply, so genuinely.
“At least like let me enjoy some eh.” She said it so mockingly. The coin shrunk into a budding mushroom. “I was watching you the whole time. I was hoping you weren’t doing what it seemed like you were doing. I was hoping that the man I could perhaps be vulnerable to someday would protect, not violate me.”
“Ma-ma-Maame” He stuttered “I…I seriously don’t know what umm…what just happened.”
“I believe you. Your knowledge is so limited it’s shocking that you can tell an alphabet and a number apart. You’re not even a boy yet Kingsley…to think that you thought you could drowse me, me, of all people with Smirnoff Ice, that’s a whole new class of ineptitude.”
She looked to the ceiling laughed and shook her head. He snuck out of the bed and put his shorts back on. He felt so small in her eyes
“So, so so Kingsley, like I should pass out and not enjoy some eh? You p3, one man show. Because you arrive too quickly, so I should be asleep so I cant judge your performance. Men’s fellowship indeed. Sunday after church, awia ketekete, aren’t you ashamed?”
“I’m, I’m sorry Maame. That’s not how I am…”
“Save that for when you look in the mirror, come and zip me back up wor hor.”
He complied. Lust had abandoned him and common sense had returned with the timing of Ghana Police –a tad too late.
Surprise! (if you couldnt wait to finish the read before scrolling down here, oo o shaame!) So I put the whole story into a compact e-book, and you can get it here or click on the dancing couple image –>>
Any problem? Holler
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