This right here is one of my personal faves from 2013. Come for your data if you dont enjoy it!
I spotted the most beautiful woman last Saturday. I’d gone for a wedding at the Trade fair in Labadi, and everyone was moving to the reception on the lush lawn close by. Then I saw her smiling as she posed for a picture. There was something striking about her. As cliché as it sounds I felt we’d met before, she looked too gorgeous for me to have forgotten a previous encounter, but I still couldn’t place her.
Half an hour later, after the bride had thrown her bouquet and one of “all the single ladies’ had caught it, I noticed that the seat beside her had become vacant. I’m past the stage where I dilly dally about talking to a captivating girl, missing the chance and bashing myself for weeks after. After all, I have an impressive complimentary card, I’m no ‘likkle buoy’.
“Hi,” I said sliding into the chair beside her “you have the kind of weekend glory that makes the bride seem like a regular weekday.”
“Sorry?” she asked, genuinely baffled
“Ummn” I stuttered “Sorry. I should stop that…ummn, no no, I meant I shouldn’t have said that. I’m terrible at pick-up lines, somehow I imagined that’ll make you smile.” My palms were sweaty and I puffed out air like I’d just jogged a mile.
She shocked me with her response. She tossed the malt in the champagne glass around for a bit, then sipped on it, smiling. “I’m not sure if the latter was another pickup line, but its definitely better than the weekend one.”
“Oo…” I mouthed not sure what to say next. She was so heartwrenchingly beautiful.
“I assume sometime this year, you’ll want to know my name?”
“Ye..ye….yes” I stuttered, uncharacteristic of my eloquent self “how about now?”
She paused long enough to make me wonder if she’d speak again then said “Rebecca, my friends call me Becky, and annoying guys call me Becca”
“O I’m never calling you that Becca, sorry I meant Becky, Rebecca.” I slapped my forehead. Where had my game passed? I’m an alpha male, usually.
She smiled, amused “O you boys of today, very unskilled in wooing women. In my time, it was entirely different. So thought out so well planned, so perfect.”
That’s when it struck me, I was sitting beside Rebecca! Isaac’s Rebecca! I’d read about her so extensively; her manner and looks. That’s why she looked so familiar. I know the queen of Sheba, Esther, Naomi and Ruth win the popularity contest in the Old Testament, but since I read about her, Rebecca had become my default no. 1
“O goodness! I’m like your biggest fan.” I blurted
She smiled “Like, or you actually are?”
“I actually, actually are. Ei am. Wow see me see you o. Ummn, there’s so much I have to ask you. I’m sorry for being so forward, but I really have a lot to ask”
She shifted in her chair. The music on the grounds was getting too loud, and it looked like the partying and dancing was going to eat into the night.
“Let’s take a walk” she suggested, getting up already.
Immediately enough time had passed, I started.
Rebecca: Oo nothing much, just growing up. There were 8 of us kids you see, so it was always an experience.
Me: This might sound some way, but how can you be so gorgeous and still a virgin when you married Isaac.
Rebecca: It wasn’t easy trust me. ‘Horny’ isn’t a 20th century phenomenon, it’s been around before Christ. I guess back then, it was everything. Your honor as a woman, the honor of your family, the proof of worthiness, it was all in that hymen.
Me: A lot’s changed now, trust me. There’s a place in north Africa now where hymen can be reconstructed.
Rebecca: I see.
Me: So about how you got married, let me get this. You went to fetch water, met a stranger, and followed him after only 24 hours to marry a relative you’d never met?
Rebecca: Well it’s not exactly like that. I did go to fetch water, and this guy asked me if I could get him some, his men and their 10 camels.
Me: Didn’t you think that was strange? I mean he had other men he was traveling with. I know that a camel can drink up to 40 gallons of water in one session, and you watered 10 camels and ten men. How on earth did you manage that?
Rebecca: I dunno, I just did. You know, I guess when something’s in your nature, it’s not really a big deal when you do it.
Me: Mmhm, but you come from a rich home Becky. You had servants at your disposal, why did you decide to even go fetch water? Was it like a hobby or something?
Rebecca: Well, thing is, I never allowed daddy’s money and the availability of helps to get into my head. Being a real woman is being industrious and humble, knowing how to live with plenty and with nothing, knowing when to delegate and when to be independent. I didn’t see a big deal with fetching water.
Me: Wow. I’m sad to announce that you belong to an endangered species Miss Rebecca.
Rebecca: O, stop it (giggling). I think you’re wrong. There are women with a pure soul and a similar mindset. Many of them feel showing that nature means being taken for granted. I just don’t believe that there’s any reason good enough to make it okay for you to shine less than you can.
Me: Touche. Now your brother Laban, he’s something isn’t he?
Rebecca: How do you mean?
Me: Well, he notices the gold ring in your nose and the two bangles, then he runs out to meet them and treats them like royalty.
Rebecca: (Smiling fondly) Laban has always been shrewd. He obviously knew good things would come to him if things sailed through. Also, he wanted the best for me, and he knew I’d be secure with a man that wealthy.
Me: Talk about money, the way you hopped on a camel and followed a man you’d met only a day before to marry a rich man you’d never seen, doesn’t that make you some kinda gold digger?
Rebecca: Gol what?
Me: Gold digger. Gold digger; money-seeking woman.
Rebecca: O that, no No NOO, not at all. Truth is, it felt comfortable knowing my man would be able to take care of me and our kids. But like I said earlier, I didn’t let Daddy’s cash get into my head, I wasn’t about to let Isaac’s.
Me: But still, don’t you think you reached a decision too quickly?
Rebecca: You think I did?
Me: I’m just saying….you know, maybe you could have stretched him a little?
Rebecca: Everything pointed that it was in fulfillment of divine agenda. The signs, the hints, they were too pronounced to have been chance. You see, if you’re a true woman of God, then you’re special to him, really special. So if he’s going to give you a man to spend your life with, he’s going to make sure that that man is capable of taking good care of his special daughter. He’s going to make sure that that man is just as special. So knowing that God was ordering my steps to Isaac was an automatic indication that he was a good guy. You catch my drift?
Me: (Lizardly nodding) Yeah. Okay. I have another question. It’s a bit disconnected from what I’ve been asking, but still. How powerful are words? These days, people say lots of things without thought. Personally, I don’t see why that’s so grievous, we can always take back our words can’t we?
Rebecca: Not necessarily. When I was leaving home the last words mum and Laban said to me were powerful. Through my boy Jacob, known in public circles as Israel, I did become a mother of millions and they did conquer the cities of their enemies. My point is, you’re going to open your mouth to say something, make it count.
Me: O drat, my ride home is ready. I came with my neighbor, and he’s been calling for minutes now.
Rebecca: That’s a pity, I was really enjoying our talk.
Me: Me more. But I have this one question.
Me: Never say that in an American airport. Hehe. Just kidding. But after weeks of traveling to Canaan, how did it feel meeting Isaac for the first time. There was no facebook then or cameras, how did you even know it was him? Was there electricity running through you? Did you connect there and then?
Rebecca: Wow. That day. It’s as fresh in my mind as Blue skies pineapple juice. We’d gotten to the Southern part of Canaan, to a place called ‘The Well of the Living One who sees me.”
Me: That’s pretty long
Rebecca: Well, yeah. So it was early evening, and I saw him by himself, far of, meditating and praying. So handsome, so alive, sooo Godly. You cant imagine how thrilling it feels to find your man praying the first time you meet him. He was praying Ben, the first time I ever saw him, he was praying. The thing you find your man doing often, reveals what he’s most likely to be doing when you’re away.
Me: So what did you do?
Rebecca: I had to be sure so I asked the servant who’d come for me who that heartthrob was, and when he told me that was my husband to be, I took my scarf and covered my face.
Me: Why you had a scar?
Rebecca: No silly, it’s a sign of humility, modesty and subjection. Any virtuous woman will humble herself to a prayerful man.
Rebecca: Now I know you have to go Ben, your friend must be pissed now. But let me say first. It wasn’t a happy ever after with Ike. We had our issues, but we dealt with it. He had too many steps, but his dad made sure they settled far off before he died. Between our sons, we had different favorites. One of them had to run off, then I became a widow. It wasn’t a bed of roses, but it was a bed made by God. And when God makes your bed, even thorns cant turn a beautiful dream into a nightmare. So you’ve got to trust Him. It wont be a walk in the park, but it’ll be a memorable one nonetheless. Remember that.
Then I had to leave, real bad 🙁
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