Aladdin In Kanda

jasmine in kanda, goldinwordsI’ve given up on flying carpets, the one in my hall just wont budge. But I’m still in search of my Jasmine, seriously. That fine blend of charm and confidence, those eyes, that smile, thhaatt stoomacchh! Chai! I want her now just as much as I wanted her then. Help me out guys, holler if you know where she is.

Then there’s the story of the three piglets and the wolf. I drew one of my strongest life’s philosophies from that story. And oh Pocahontas! Even worn out and faded Pocahontas boots stir up warm feelings within.

I guess part of why I loved those Walt Disney stories is because back then they gave me the freedom to disguise my childhood if I so wished. I mean forget the meager content of my lunch box; I could talk about the Lion King till you asked me if I brought anything back from Disneyland. (Even I am laughing at that right now). But my reasons for loving those stories have changed greatly, especially the story of Beauty and the Beast. It’s amazing how so many of us have lived are living it right now.

The Marvin Story

In Legon, there was a guy in my Econs class called Marvin. No, Marvin was not the kind of guy you wanted around when you finally spoke to your crush. His Bradley Cooper, ei sorry, Kevin Prince Boateng appeal just swayed all the girls to him. It didn’t matter if you covered him in a shirt inscribed ‘Jerk approaching’. Still the hot girls wanted him to have their number. )de ne swag b3 gye wo gerh right now right now. He was smooth and played the girls like Tetris. He slept with them like his grade point depended on it. One time he met a very sought after girl at the Central Cafeteria just before his 1:30 lecture, by 9:30 same night, he’d had her at the back of his dad’s Pontiac Vibe. The other guys envied him, the girls wanted him regardless and the spirito boys didn’t want him in church!

From a distance Marvin was the dream, but within, he was desolate and aching. His promiscuity was his response to the pain Maame Serwaa Boateng had caused him in first year. He’d been the fool for her, and she’d left him for some young lawyer. It shattered him, and he revenged with each skirt he went under. Girls who didn’t know Maame existed paid for the pain Marvin blamed her for. He’d become a beast; only he had the face of beauty too.

From Beauty & the Beast, to Beauty Beasts.

There are so many beasts roaming town these days, both guys and girls, people who’ve been turned by a bad relationship. We’ve taken the pain from an ex and turned it into a fitting excuse to be cold, selfish and downright stupid.

playboy, goldinwordsVisiting the hurt from our past on anyone with the same gender as the ex mutes even our spiritual sensibilities. When we are thrusting into that girl we have no intention of staying committed to, we are just thinking of our ‘hard guyness’. It doesn’t occur that we’re insulting God.

Most of the players, most of the ‘long’ girls, most of those who act like they don’t care are sorry, lonely people whose vulnerabilities have been exploited by that one girl or guy who took them for granted. The best way they think to avert any future heartbreak is to be the one who does the breaking. There’re so many girls looking to be in relationships only with guys who love them twice as much and so many guys looking to move on before they really fall for the girl they’re with. No one wants to be the fool again.

You know what’s funny? The one who loses most in all this isn’t the person we hurt in revenge, it’s us. By the time you’re past the 20th girl or gone through the 15th guy, you’re such a rag in comparison to who you were. The same way you can’t do good without bettering yourself in the process, you cant do evil without losing a part of you in the process.

When you ‘load-shed’ your love to prevent another heartbreak, you are fighting cancer with cigarettes. Your lungs are suffering but it doesn’t show yet. Regulating your love wont fix issues, it’s like using using crayon to do a fountain pen’s job. Crayons just difficult the whole issues and that’s pretty sad. We’ve taken the ugliness of the beast and masked it with the innocence of beauty and we’re walking around town spoirring everywhere, retelling such a fine Walt Disney story. Rather than being shining lights upon hills, we’ve become wrecking balls doing more damage than Miley Cyrus on a rampage. But why? Eh, why?

What’s the alternative?

The best way to prevent the recurrence of a terrible relationship is to become utterly sensitive to the Holy Spirit. See, he will remove the mask from the face of the smoothest player before he’s done saying “Do you live around here?” if you’re too deaf to hear, He’ll show you in your dreams the true nature of the person you’re unsure of.

Fam, let’s do the more difficult thing; let’s decide to not let the hurt someone caused us before change us for worse. They don’t deserve that. No one deserves the glory of having the power to change you for worse, least of all a jerk. You are no better than whoever abused you if you become abusive yourself. In the end you lose the most and they probably end up changing and building mansions in heaven. Don’t give anything the power to change you for worse. They. Are. Not. Worth. It!!

Because it’s so darn hard to choose the blue pill, ask the HS to help out, He’s soo more than willing. Plus I promise you, you’ll feel so fulfilled, so mature, so awesome, so satisfied when you look back at that perfect excuse to turn into a heartbreaking jerk, but chose to honor God rather. I promise you. Decide now.

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28 Comments

  1. ahenkan said:

    I’ve been reading ur blog for a while and i must i’m blessed by every piece i read.God richly bless u.kip it up

    September 9, 2015
    Reply
  2. Nife said:

    “and they probably end up changing and building mansions in heaven. Don’t give anything the power to change you for worse. They. Are. Not. Worth. It!!.”….y’know this thought dawned on me sometime ago and that was when i ‘h3leshi’. God bless you, Ben

    March 20, 2015
    Reply
  3. maame said:

    I always thank God for using you(Ben) to bless us.Indeed we have to be utterly sensitive to the holy spirit.Great piece as always .

    March 4, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Now I’m going to be thanking him for a while to come too; for FINALLY bringing you along! Where’d you been all this while Maame?

      March 5, 2015
      Reply
  4. Efua said:

    Great as always Ben. More grace!!

    February 24, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Mooooooooorrrrrree grace Efus. Been a while tho 😉

      February 25, 2015
      Reply
  5. P.Kay said:

    Very profound. Always love to read such wonderful stuff. I believe your writing needs a global audience. Won’t be surprised if I see a best seller book written by you. I thank God for your life and I am really motivated by your work to do better.
    Stay blessed.

    February 24, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Now that’s a a delightful thought right there P.Kay, and it just might be months away too o, lol. Even more seriously, I think I draw more motivation from your comment than you could get from my posts. God bless you bro.

      February 25, 2015
      Reply
  6. Geena said:

    Ben God bless you and give you more grace to do HIS work. you’re spot on. Really like this piece.

    February 23, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thanks Geena. More more grace, and we’re so good to go 🙂

      February 25, 2015
      Reply
  7. Kofi said:

    fighting cancer with cigarettes.. Great piece bro

    February 21, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Thanks bro!

      February 23, 2015
      Reply
  8. BenJ said:

    And God does it agaaaaiinnn. And Abena makes gets me all smiling again 🙂 Glad you wrote. But charle I doubt I’ve heard even half of it o.

    February 21, 2015
    Reply
  9. abena said:

    And Ben does it again. I don’t even know what else to say, feel like you’ve heard it all…keep it up

    February 21, 2015
    Reply
  10. Ewurasi said:

    Hahaha.. ok so u had me…but this is way better than the ” really good ” I imagined….”regulating your love won’t fix issues “-now that’s deep.

    February 21, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Whew! Not an easy thing to even meet your imagination Ewurasi. God is certainly at work 🙂

      February 21, 2015
      Reply
  11. Aseda said:

    You are no better than whoever abused you if you become abusive yourself. I love that part so much. I keep telling people this, but they just don’t get it.

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Then I guess we have to scream louder, yes?

      February 21, 2015
      Reply
  12. Aseda said:

    You are no better than whoever abused you if you become abusive yourself.

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
  13. Emefa said:

    Looove it Ben! Keep ’em coming!

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Youuuuu bet Emefa! More grace though; that’s the only ingredient required 😉

      February 20, 2015
      Reply
  14. beckz said:

    Thanks. And I’m still waiting for dinner confessions u promised us on Fridays

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      #hands over face. Not for long Beckz, not for long 🙂

      February 20, 2015
      Reply
  15. Eunice said:

    Thanks Ben. God bless you

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
  16. Eunice said:

    More like wolf in sheep’s clothing

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Dreary, scary wolves Eunice!

      February 20, 2015
      Reply
  17. Ewurasi said:

    ok so i haven’t read this yet, but seeing the title alone in my mailbox got me lmao so i already know its gonna be really good!

    February 20, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Lol. I cant wait to see what you think when you finally get around to it.

      February 20, 2015
      Reply

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