Confessions Of An Ex…

When I’m talking with a girl I could like, there’re some questions I ask to break free from the condemnation of friend zone. One of them is “What’s the riskiest thing you’ve ever done?”. The main aim isn’t to tell me the truth, it’s just to have her think about it and me at the same time. Here’s why; in thinking about it, she relives the adrenaline that made the moment special. She smiles reflexively and ponders whether to say or not. After that, no matter what she decides, enough of the nostalgia has rubbed off to move me a step away from broda level 😉

Recently, I’ve come to realize that it’s quite a risky move to take. The stories girls have theeesse daayysss!! It’s dangerous to ask! Whaaaattt??!!! You want to know the riskiest or naughtiest thing she’s done? Eeii are you sure? You want to find out why ignorance is bliss? Lol, anyways there’s so much to learn from the life of a woman who’s been to the depths of deep and now looks back shaking her head. I know one.

 Vera’s been the baddest chic’s baddest chic. In her life she’s had experiences that could scar a Roman Father for life. Like, I’m talking about a confession that will shock and excite a high priest! She’s changed now though. It’s all in her past, a full 360 change that nearly exhausted grace (jk). She has this urge to tell her stories, from a mature, transformed perspective. Plus she writes pretty well. She hopes her scintillating stories will guide others who’re living the first chapter of the book she’s already turned the last page on.

So I said “Sure V, we can arrange for a story every other week, perhaps on Sundays? That way, Goldinwords gets a 3rd post every other week.” C’est bon? There’s one catch though, this will only continue if you permit it. If you find enough value in Vera’s stories and want it to continue, you’re going to have to say so. If you don’t like it, it will stop. Simpo! For starters, here’s the first. But before, a brief Vera bio;

I cant tell you her real name, she’ll forever be anonymous. I can tell you though that she’s very pretty, light skinned, innocent faced and incredibly smart. She’s 28, very active in church and works with a Local airline. I hope you find value in her stories…but let’s see.

*     *     *

Romancing AIDS

That night I went to bed feeling very relieved. You know, when you are child of God, He watches over you with eagle eyes. I had actually lost count of the number of times; I had begged God to forgive me for one thing or another and promising not to do it again.i always took His grace and love for granted because I knew He was a merciful God and will always forgive me if I asked Him to. But some way, somehow, He in his infinite wisdom taught me a lesson I will never forget.

The Meet:

His name was Paa Kow. My mother introduced us because she knew he could use his connections to get me a lucrative job in the oil industry. He was a sweet person when I first him. He was the kind of person there was never a dull moment with. We had to exchange numbers to keep in touch with regards to the job. He started calling me daily for a week and his usual line was ‘I was just calling to find out how you are doing’. Then as the days went by, I realized I spent a lot of my time talking to him on the phone, especially. Then he offered to pick me up to work every morning even though he worked in Tema and I in Osu. This he did religiously every morning. He bought me countless gifts and surprised me with lunch every now and then. He made me the center of his world. Soon, the reason why we met in the first place was forgotten and we started to pursue each other.

The Intimacy:

We had not defined our relationship yet but we were doing things like a couple. The ultimate was sex. We had sex a couple of times. I knew it was wrong but, I did not care. He was good to me and treated me well. That was all that mattered. Soon, things changed. He became so obsessed with me. Any guy around me was a threat and proof of my infidelity. I was not comfortable speaking to my friends on phone around him anymore. I had to keep my phone off or on silent anytime I was with him. The once sweet, charming person had turned into a beast. I felt I was the one at fault and tried everything in my power to please him because I did not want to lose him.

ConfessionsThe Change:

Later, he became very distant. He started to make excuses for why he couldn’t take me to work anymore. He barely picked my calls. I was hurting. I wondered what I had done wrong. Then one day, he asked to see me after work. I was super excited because I thought he had come back to his sense and wanted to apologize. We had a long chat after work. He insisted I was seeing other people and was beginning to think that he was not safe with me. In order to prove that I was clean, he asked me to do an HIV test, going on and on about why he should have asked me to that earlier before sleeping with me. Really? Paa Kow, an HIV test? But I was ready to do it to prove my innocence. I had told him about my ex boyfriend who was based in London and came to visit me twice in a year during one of our conversations and he had concluded that my ex boyfriend could have infected me with a disease. So I agreed to do the test.

The Fright:

My first test results at the Police Hospital came out POSITIVE so I insisted it was done again. This time it was NEGATIVE. The lab technician advised I sought a second opinion because, they could not tell if I really had the virus. As I left the Police Hospital to Korle Bu that day, I could not stop the tears from flowing. I began thinking of how reckless I had been in the past with men. I began making a list of all the men I had slept with unprotected in my mind. I felt ashamed of myself. If I had the virus, I had no one but myself to blame. At that point, I remembered all the sermons about fornication that I had ignored and wished I did not have to be in this position. At Korle Bu, I was told my results will be ready in 3 days. Between that day and the day I had to go for my results was like 30 years for me. I searched through my mind to see if I had ever experienced any of the viral symptoms I had read about on the internet. My parents were pissed off when they got to know what I had gotten myself into. Till the time I went for my results, I was only praying to God to give me another chance and that if I come out of this mess clean, I was going to be faithful and loyal to Him.

I went to Korle Bu, three days after to find out my fate. I knew that, with all my recklessness, I could be HIV positive but a tiny part of me had hope that I am HIV negative. When, I got the results, I could not open it. My heart was beating 10 times faster than its normal pace. If you had put a thermometer under my armpit then, it would have burst. I gathered the little courage that I had in me and I opened it. Lo and behold, I was HIV negative. I cried my eyes out. I knew God had given me a second chance to make things right with Him. My parents were elated when they heard the good news.

The Lesson:

After this experience, I purposed in my heart to stand right with God all the time. I decided not to lower my standards for anybody anymore. I decided to be sexually pure till I finally meet the one God has planned for me. The one whose wisdom will remind me of Solomon, the one whose ability to lead will remind me of Moses, the one whose faith will remind me of Abraham, the one whose confidence in God’s word will remind me of Daniel, the one whose inspiration will remind of Paul and above all, the one whose ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

PS: Don’t keep! Share…& then subscribe.

And let’s connect on Twitter! @benanyan

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23 Comments

  1. Josh said:

    mp)))ky3o, y3 p3 more ai

    August 4, 2015
    Reply
  2. Naa said:

    Wow!!! God is gracious and merciful!!
    However, permit me to criticize the way her results were handled at Korle -Bu. In an envelope?
    Weren’t they supposed to counsel her first and then TELL her the results?
    What if she had opened it and was positive? How was she going to handle it?
    More training needed in our hospitals/ testing centers if she wasn’t counseled.

    February 12, 2015
    Reply
  3. Abiba said:

    Great read. The last paragraph reminds me of a spoken word titled ” I will wait” by Genetics.

    February 11, 2015
    Reply
  4. Emily said:

    Thank you Vera, Our God indeed always redeems us BUT we must be careful to live lives worthy of redemption. Keep em coming!!

    February 11, 2015
    Reply
  5. Amanda said:

    I want more. Let it continue, please!

    February 7, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      For you Mandy, continue it shall!

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  6. rammy said:

    awww…hmmm..thnx b to God..cnt wait…BEN

    February 7, 2015
    Reply
  7. Kofi said:

    Oh Vera..lol. Im loving this. I hope it continues

    February 7, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Certainly will Kofi.

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  8. Maame Fosua said:

    Love this V! Let it flow…..

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Ayooooooo 🙂

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  9. Elorm said:

    Wow.. this is a testimony. From grass to grace.
    Reminds me of James Fortune’s ‘Identity’..theres a line that goes “I made mistakes but thank You for grace”

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      True El, grace really is the differentiator.Some of us keep gulping it down like stolen Coke.

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  10. Doris said:

    Lovely, touching story. Thank God fr a 2nd chance

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Yess D, 2nd chances do truly come in handy.

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  11. abena said:

    I hope this series continues

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      On 1 condition Abena; that you drop a line after each one 😉

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  12. Elise said:

    Wow…. the beauty of grace! Our God of a second chance….

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      It’s so special isnt it? Very special to us who need lots of it 🙂

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  13. debbie said:

    🙂 interesting ,looking forward to more

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      Then more there shall be Debbie.

      February 9, 2015
      Reply
  14. Nayel said:

    Awwww, I hope this will continue… I was hoping that wasn’t the end.. 🙂

    February 6, 2015
    Reply
    • BenJ said:

      lol Nayel, looks like hopes do come through. I’m glad you enjoyed it, and even more that you said so. We should catch up soon o.

      February 9, 2015
      Reply

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