Last week was the bomb, this week is the explosion! Picking up from where we left off.

Guy 2 (laughing heartily) “Honestly man, I didn’t know you could go through such rubbish and still smell so good. Anyways, allow me to steal the show and tell you how much an erection actually costs.

You were all there when I got the Kenya Master’s Scholarship. 7 other Ghanaians got it too, 4 of whom were girls, 1 of whom was Sabina, the one because of whom the thought of sex doesn’t even turn me on anymore.

There was something about how my father warned me of how such trips could bring unforeseen children that I should have taken more seriously. Back then, I thought he was saying that because of the mistakes he made that gifted me with four step brothers from two women minus my mother. I repent from that thought; it must have been a revelation!

In Kenya, all 7 of us were in the same class with other students from all over Africa. Before then, I had never really spoken with Sabina, even during undergrad studies. But foreign lands, they have a way of making good friends out of distant acquaintances.

I’d never had sex before, and I thought I stood a good chance of being a virgin till marriage, but there’s something about being in a strange land without supervision and obligation that lures you to Read More The Price Of An Erection, Part ii -Rated 28

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Memories…

flash - neverendingThere’s this old movie – The Neverending Story – that they used to show on GTV somewhere in the ’90s on Sunday afternoons. In the Sequel, a boy enters this fantasy world and acquires a medallion that grants various wishes. The twist, however, is that the baddie makes it such that with every wish, he forgoes a personal memory. It reaches a point somewhere down the line where he has just 2 left – of his mother and father – and then, in order to save the life of someone he gives up the memory of his mother with another wish.

That movie made me realise for the first time the immense importance of memories to us as people – they form our beings just as surely as every morsel of food we take in daily.

But this brings me to a conundrum: as we advance, humanity finds better and better ways of safeguarding this memory. Disposable cameras gave way to Polaroids, then digital cameras have progressively been giving way to the latest flagship smartphone in our quest to preserve the moments.

Technology steps in to save us, but at a cost which I’m guilty of also. Flipping through the 35+ Gb archive of pictures on my laptop accrued over the last decade or so, I realised the biggest mistake we’ve been routinely making. Read More Smile at the Camera *Flash*!

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I first posted this some time back when there was just a couple of us, but seeing as we’re a crowd now, I’m certain you have to see this. It’s one of my very favorites!

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Quote: An erected penis hath no conscience.

Anonymous

Recently I’ve been wondering, but I haven’t had to wonder much, because I know a couple of people who know a couple of people who have actually paid the price of an erection, or are almost done with it, so we’ll look at it through their eyes, and see if it’s a price any of us should contemplate paying.

My friend was hanging out with two close guy friends of his, and in the course of their conversation the issue of weaknesses came up. Bear in mind that all three are staunch, favored anointed men, not a bunch of secular miscreants. You might be tempted to judge, but please don’t make that mistake, just read and remember that infamous Akan proverb; “If you see your neighbor’s beard on fire, keep a bucket of water around yours at all times”

Guy 1 says “Charley, as for me, my weakness is lust o, after all I’ve been through and all it’s cost me, I find that if it’s only by grace that I stand and hope.” #imagine the whirring of a cassette as I rewind to the part when he talked about what it cost him.

“I was home when this spiritual daughter of mine said Read More The Price Of An Erection. Part 1- Rated 28

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I made the decision to go to school outside of Ghana. To some people this was the “normal” thing to do, to others a privilege. Either way, I was going to university abrokyrie. I was indifferent to the idea initially, to be honest. I was one of those children who had strict parents, but also had freedom a lot of my friends didn’t get. Ergo, the excitement other people got from the idea that they were going to be far away from their parents and be able to do whatever they wanted didn’t apply to me. I could already do what I wanted, within reason, and as long as it didn’t involve any life threatening, character-threatening things. It also had to conveniently fit in my curfew at the time.

Nevertheless, I looked forward to going to university and doing all the things that apparently university people did. Whatever that entailed. I had a few friends already in university and they were always chilling and having fun. Imagine my surprise when I got to university and the sort of fun and chilling people did was not the kind I was into. To add insult to injury, I could not stand the city I was in. I hated it. I had not, until that point, hated anything as much as I hated the city. I hated it so much when I was home for Christmas after my first semester I refused to get back on the plane. I wasn’t going back to that God-forsaken place. Nope. Not me. Read More Obedience Over Sacrifice

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I remember the first time I watched a porn clip. I was in Presec, 3rd year. I snuck to an internet café to…I don’t even remember what. There were these humongous excuses for computer monitors that lorded themselves over the partitioned wooden stalls.

Owait, I remember what I went to do now. I had a yahoo account with the most ridiculous email ‘Hourglass143…’. Those days, it was just flex to have an email account. Most of the mails were spam, but because there weren’t enough email using friends to receive emails from, I read spam like they were love letters from Gey Hey.

There were three guys huddled behind a computer two chairs away. They were too excited to have been reading spam. I’ve been curious a long time now, you know. In stretching my neck whilst acting uninterested, I saw my first porn clip. Read More Sex Sells! But Who’s Buying?

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Dear Love,

I hope this letter finds you like I intend it to – Quite by Surprise! I don’t know if you’ve seen any of the other letters I’ve hidden all over the house and in my old things but if you haven’t yet, I can assure you that you’re in for a Treat!

You see, I periodically write these letters because it gives me the ability to ‘cheat’ on time by allowing me to make use of your excellent company years before we end up together finally and I can count myself blessed to have you close by every single day.

It gets rough sometimes, I must admit, when there’re so many things on my mind and heart that I’d love to share with someone who’s as close to me as you are now, reading this letter. Unfortunately, in my present state of unwed solitary bachelorhood, that I can’t do because not everyone needs to know what’s in your mind everyone – a majority of them can’t handle it and others would most likely use the information to manipulate you. This letter, however, is my innovative solution to that conundrum. 🙂

The thought of writing this particular letter actually occurred to me last night when I was having  a discussion with one of your Akumaas about the nature of Love and how it should be versus how it, unfortunately, becomes sometimes. An old soul taking temporary shelter in a young body as I am, I’m sure it wouldn’t surprise you to find out that the phrase that got me a-thinking was one from older Highlife and Hiplife songs, “Medeɛ ne wo ara”“. Read More Letter To My Dear True Wife III…

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Very little hurts more than being wrongly accused. It’s one of the few things that really ticks me off (I’m even teary right now po). So you open the pot and it just looks like there’re fewer chicken limbs in there than before and without even asking, you smack me and insist on an explanation for why I stole the chicken. But…but…but… I juuuusssst caaaaammeee eeeeeennssssiiiiiidddee, I haven’t even tooouuuuuccchheeddd theeeee ppoooooooottt.

It’s too painful fam. Just imagining being falsely accused is even working me up right now. I’ve always hated false accusations, but I never thought for a moment that someone from B.C era felt the exact same way. It’s like finding out that Samuel was a Scrabble junkie! Or, or, or Elijah loved kelewele! It’s a very special feeling. Read More I Didnt Even Touch Her!

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DO you have one of those “dating lists”? One of the ones that talks explicitly about the type of relationship you want and what you’re looking for in your significant other? Tall, fit, 7 feet 20 inches? Oh yeah? Even if you don’t have it on paper, or on your phone or wherever, I’m sure in your head there are some things you’re thinking the person should have.

I sat with a friend and had a talk about this. Three of her close friends recently got married and they’re all about the same age, so she’s beginning to pressurise herself and is frantically looking for someone. Dating apps, going out, telling everybody to hook her up. She doesn’t need all that pressure, marriage isn’t a race, but that’s beside the point.

During our conversation she mentioned someone she liked and met and how they were talking and everything seemed well and dandy but he didn’t like a specific food, so she wasn’t sure. AH! That would be like saying you cannot date someone because they don’t like fufu. Eh mome, if they don’t like banku they shouldn’t even be in your life, but I digress.

Read More The Non-Negotiable

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I saw a Facebook post days ago that has me giggling till date. It was quoting some Nigerian who said something like “I find that statement; ‘there’s light at the end of the tunnel’ so disrespectful. I mean where I come from there is no light in my home, how much more anywhere near a tunnel? I mean if you want to symbolize hope in a phrase, tell me something like ‘there’s jollof at the end of the speech’ then eheeh, I can understand what you mean.’

I identify with that myself, but the conversation about things at the end of things is very interesting to me…just as interesting is the story about the man David feared and what was at the end of his tunnel.

Now David needs no introduction, I mean even before he got giant warriors Rolling On The Floor (not from laughter), he’d disciplined wild beasts. My favorite David feat though is how in exchange for Saul’s daughter’s hand in marriage he managed to return with the foreskins of 200 philistine soldiers. Pause. Can you imagine the amount of work that goes into getting that many foreskins from unwilling warriors? I don’t think any wanzam has achieved a fraction of that yet. Read More The Man David Feared Gidigidi!

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Good evening people. I have a serious topic I’d like to talk about today.

There’s a silent menace most people aren’t aware of that’s going around causing mischief without the people mainly affected even realizing there’s something gravely wrong. Let me illustrate this even further.

dhmo - shelfThere’s this bit of information floating around through the ether we call the Internet I’m pretty sure most of you are not aware of. There is a growing awareness concerning a substance known as Dihydrogen Monoxide (DHMO) which apparently has been present in increasingly more varied ways within our environment with frankly quite alarming qualities!

Let’s talk some science for a bit as it gets a bit technical here – Now its basis is the highly reactive hydroxyl radical, a species shown to mutate DNA, denature proteins, disrupt cell membranes, and chemically alter critical neurotransmitters. Its atomic components have been found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine, and Ethyl Alcohol! Read More Public Service Announcement: It’s in the Water!

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